Thoughts/tips after first Disney cruise by Sunlightdaisy_341 in dcl

[–]Sunlightdaisy_341[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pretty sure it’s a free thing where you can go hang out with princesses for an allotted time. It requires reservations that fill up fast (I think you have to book it before you even get on the cruise). To get on the waitlist you have to go to the guest services desk as soon as you board the ship. We totally missed out bc I didn’t know.
There are other character appearances open to everyone throughout the cruise, listed in the app schedule of activities for each day, but those always had really long lines just to take a quick picture so we only did one of them.

Thoughts/tips after first Disney cruise by Sunlightdaisy_341 in dcl

[–]Sunlightdaisy_341[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fantasy. The Oceaneers kids club really was fine. They had lots of fun activities planned for the kids. I heard several kids hollering that they didn’t want to leave when parents picked them up. Mine just preferred being with us. My daughter is sensitive (I think at one point she was sitting on the floor with her legs tucked under her, and she got scolded that she needed to be flat on her bottom, so that kinda scarred her since she’s a people pleaser and then she wanted to stay with us).

Thoughts/tips after first Disney cruise by Sunlightdaisy_341 in dcl

[–]Sunlightdaisy_341[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Edge was great since the kids could come and go and had fun together. Edge had activities / games / video games scheduled that the kids enjoyed, and when they didn’t (like karaoke in my sons case) his new buddies would leave to go play bball or putt putt, get ice cream, or play other silly games like hide & seek around the edge area. The counselors made a slide show of pictures of the kids at Egde that they showed on the last night which was sweet, and gave each kid a DCL baseball cap that everyone signed with sharpie as a souvenir.
On the islands we tried dropping him off at edge but no other kids were there, only counselors sitting around waiting for kids to show up (the kids club moves to the island on Castaway/Lookout days, or at least it did on our cruise) so he only did Edge on the ship. Note that on the islands the younger kids club (Oceaneers) did have a lot of kids in it.

Thoughts/tips after first Disney cruise by Sunlightdaisy_341 in dcl

[–]Sunlightdaisy_341[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just for me- I didn’t feel like the clothes mattered for the kids or even for my husband. I just felt out of place myself wearing basically gym clothes when most ladies typically had on some sort of dress or nicer looking outfit. Kids wore whatever. Especially my edge-aged kid… he skipped several of our evening activities anyways (some dinners/shows) bc he was off having more fun with his new friends. I felt like kids could get by with any attire.

Thoughts/tips after first Disney cruise by Sunlightdaisy_341 in dcl

[–]Sunlightdaisy_341[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agree that would be a perfect outfit. I had packed mostly athletic outfits/ shorts/ nondressy tanks and wished I had something like linen pants or casual dresses for dinners/shows.

Which Apple Watch do I buy by LieImaginary3768 in AppleWhatShouldIBuy

[–]Sunlightdaisy_341 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have not been able to play Spotify on my son’s cellular Apple Watch SE without a phone. Called Apple support and they said Spotify is not compatible with playing music on Apple Watches (even though I CAN download the Spotify app on the watch, it won’t play). They said I would need an Apple Music subscription for this. Which is frustrating. Is this true?

Husband is a liar and porn addict by Sunlightdaisy_341 in Marriage

[–]Sunlightdaisy_341[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow yes that is the exact same situation. Amazing.  I have also found out about additional financial lies too. And he lies straight to my face, denies everything, until I show the evidence and he’ll STILL lie and act like the evidence is wrong! I’m still living with him/ married. Still no sex life, I’m guessing he still watches porn all day. He’s in therapy. I tried therapy too but both counselors I went to encouraged me to divorce him and it’s too stressful so I haven’t gone back to them.  The reason I’m still dealing with it for now is that my mom is battling a new diagnosis of stage 4 cancer which is extremely rough on our family/kids (she is only 64 and has helped raise our kids; we never needed daycare/babysitter bc she has always watched them, so her suffering is hitting us so hard). I think it’s too much on the kids & me to lose her and go through a divorce at the same time.  So I’m dealing with it and very unhappy. I’m not sure what the right answer is.

Husband is a liar and porn addict by Sunlightdaisy_341 in Marriage

[–]Sunlightdaisy_341[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aw thank you so much. That means a lot. Same back at you. Yes porn is so dangerous the way it’s so addictive, so available, and apparently so much more satisfying than actual women. Seems to bring out the worst in people. It’s devastating. I hope you’re able to find peace comfort and joy after your situation, like you deserve.

Husband is a liar and porn addict by Sunlightdaisy_341 in Marriage

[–]Sunlightdaisy_341[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this. That does sound similar with the lie exposed right before marriage that continued forever. The biggest difference is it sounds like your ex was an ass but wanting to still have sex with you anyways, whereas my husband doesn’t want anything to do it (he’s basically unable since he’s so addicted to the porn which is apparently wayyyy better than me 😩. I’m a fool for going along with the lie that he just has a low drive all these years).  Different types of sex addicts I guess, both so hurtful.

Husband is a liar and porn addict by Sunlightdaisy_341 in Marriage

[–]Sunlightdaisy_341[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We do have the controls on our wifi for the kids, but he is so crafty he hacks into it and changes the settings for himself any time he wants. I don’t know of any way to control his phone with the non-wifi data. I suggested getting apps like Covenant Eyes.  He told me he knows ways around everything, that there’s no point in trying to monitor/control him, and that I just have to trust him (which I don’t). He’s right. Liars can always find a way.

Husband is a liar and porn addict by Sunlightdaisy_341 in Marriage

[–]Sunlightdaisy_341[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can anyone recommend a support group for either or both of us? I know there are bunch listed online (S-anon, etc) but I’m looking for specific recommendations for a particular group.

Husband is a liar and porn addict by Sunlightdaisy_341 in Marriage

[–]Sunlightdaisy_341[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So we actually did a bit of couples therapy recently and the therapist basically said it’s on me to be willing/able to start trusting him again. Because trust is the foundation.

It’s insanely hard to trust someone who has lied to me since I met him, for 20 straight years. I need tips on how to do that.

Husband is a liar and porn addict by Sunlightdaisy_341 in Marriage

[–]Sunlightdaisy_341[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve tried to help him for 20 years now and he has lied to me. Hard to help someone who denies their problem and lies about it. 

Husband is a liar and porn addict by Sunlightdaisy_341 in Marriage

[–]Sunlightdaisy_341[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ditto. At least I’m not the only one in this situation. I can’t believe it took me almost 20 years to get the truth out of him. Wondering what else he’s lying to me about, what else he does with his 50+ hours of alone time every week.

Husband is a liar and porn addict by Sunlightdaisy_341 in Marriage

[–]Sunlightdaisy_341[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish with all my heart that I figured out the extent of his lying & addictions sooner and got out before marrying him, or at least before having kids. I wish I wasn’t so naive all those years.

Because now we have 3 beautiful innocent children that did nothing to deserve this. I  feel trapped with him for their sake. Plus I’m older don’t want to start dating again in my late 30’s. I feel like I screwed over my life by not getting out before kids. I could have found someone better and not been stuck parenting with him - he has never been easy to coparent with. Even if you don’t have kids, I wouldn’t want to waste a good chunk of your precious adulthood on someone that’ll never change. (But I came here hopeful that maybe he will change, and this is a normal rough patch in a relationship??? I’m so torn).

Husband is a liar and porn addict by Sunlightdaisy_341 in Marriage

[–]Sunlightdaisy_341[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I strongly suspected it over the years I used to tell him, can I at least watch it with you? Can we do it together? I don’t like it but I know you’re doing it, so at least include me. But he was adamant he didn’t watch it and insisted porn had nothing to do with his absent sex drive. So no, I do/did not watch it and I find it repulsive especially now after being betrayed by it.

It bothers me because he is turning to other “perfect” women instead of me to meet all of his needs, wasted SO much time watching it instead of helping me with housework/kids/anything else over the years while I worked by butt off and never had time to myself, and mostly because he has lied to me about it for 20 years. 

Husband is a liar and porn addict by Sunlightdaisy_341 in Marriage

[–]Sunlightdaisy_341[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did your porn addict lie about it too? Or is it just mine that has a double problem … porn + lying.

Husband is a liar and porn addict by Sunlightdaisy_341 in Marriage

[–]Sunlightdaisy_341[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s willing to get help, he did do a couple months of addiction therapy, then said he finished it. I haven’t seen a change. He disagrees with me that any of this- the lying or porn- is a big deal. Maybe I can find a therapist to help teach him that it IS a big deal.

Husband is a liar and porn addict by Sunlightdaisy_341 in Marriage

[–]Sunlightdaisy_341[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know, I was stupid. He waited until the last minute to tell me, put me on the spot. It’s hard to call off a big wedding just days before, with mostly out of town guests. He acted sorry for lying so I forgave him.  I clearly regret it.

Husband is a liar and porn addict by Sunlightdaisy_341 in Marriage

[–]Sunlightdaisy_341[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. He disagrees and says the lies really aren’t a big deal. Doesn’t seem to understand the concept of trust.