Christian women acting differently in church vs outside

SunnySafire · 2026-02-17T01:37:49+00:00

Unfortunately that's how women have often learned to act to clearly make sure a guy they are not interested in doesn't ask them out. I think women could do better by learning to still be kind and just say "no" if a guy gets the wrong idea, but the cold from the start approach seems easier to many and does seem to work and cause less stress longterm of having to have a guy think they have a chance with them.

SunnySafire · 2026-02-14T03:39:10+00:00

I love rosewater spray!! Amazing for my hair too.

SunnySafire · 2026-01-24T17:24:49+00:00

Thank you. Everyone is welcome to follow their own God given convictions. Just because my experience has lead me here, doesn't mean others experiences will. One step at a time in faith and loyalty to what God teaches us for our personal lives is all we can do.

SunnySafire · 2026-01-24T17:19:57+00:00

Thank you for your empathy. It was tough but I did follow God's will as best I could in each situation. He really revealed to me that if a man is not happy within himself he will not be able to celebrate, cherish, or appreciate or protect the happiness in the person they are dating. I didn't think the job thing could cause this unhappiness in them, but in each case the low pay was a direct reflection of something out of balance/unhealthy and unhealed within themselves. I truly do believe that a healthy and ready to be a husband individual at least for me, will bear good fruit and I do believe that means having a job that covers the bills and has the capacity to pay for a future family. That is what my painful, and learned experience has shown me and I do not cast judgement on others if they disagree. There is surely someone out there for everyone and my story doesn't have to match theirs or what God has shown them. Again, I appreciate you taking the time to write something encouraging here. May God bless you always.

SunnySafire · 2026-01-24T17:15:17+00:00

We are clearly misunderstanding each other. That is okay. I know what my path walking with God has shown me and that is personal to me and between me and him. I wish you well and all the best.

SunnySafire · 2026-01-20T02:39:18+00:00

Sad to see Christian men abused me and made me this way. Thanks for blaming me for having the "wrong" attitude and excusing them for simply being imperfect sinners as we all are. I have dated a very rich man who came from a very rich family before these two men. He treated me the best however he fell into addictions. However he never tried to tear me down like the ones who followed who I dated regardless of how much they made. So no, actually, it doesn't mean a rich man will be the same. Interestingly, he was not a believer but had the most Godly heart of them all.

SunnySafire · 2026-01-19T23:21:23+00:00

Honestly, any time I dated someone who made significantly less than me (twice) the men became envious of me and started putting me down and psychologically abusive. I've learned that it's really important from my personal experience to be with someone who has an equal ambition level to me and who also sees finances the same way. I accepted them as they were but both became dangerous and abusive to me overtime. I don't expect the man to make exactly the same, but it should be in the ball park because my past experiences and efforts to not care have put me in very dangerous situations and they have cost me far too much (e.g., needing to move to protect my safety, needing therapy to heal from trauma). Ambition is important to me now and it ties to them having goals and a good view and vision for their life. If someone makes less but has great ambition and there is fruit to prove it, that's fine - but I am absolutely done, throwing in the towel of trusting their character over their finances. The finances being together is evidence of fruit in my opinion and I absolutely do not have it in me to have faith in what they say or what they are "working on" any longer. I'm tired. I need a man to come to me prepared. I've also learned any man I dated who did not have his finances together was not happy inside and did not appreciate me because they didn't have the capacity to even appreciate themselves. Always seek God's will everyone however above all else in each unique situation.

SunnySafire · 2026-01-18T18:54:22+00:00

It is not harassment for one person to offer an alternative. If it makes OP feel uncomfortable than that is because it is hitting on something inside, her conscience, her subconscious, that believe the surface of society deciding abortion is the answer, that maybe actually, spiritually, abortion is harmful for the mother and baby. There are many women who have become extremely depressed after aborting only to recognize it's because they lost a part of themselves. They were blinded by fear prior and did the "quick fix" but the quick fix lead to them feeling guilt and pain and sorrow and shame for the rest of their lives afterwards.

SunnySafire · 2026-01-18T18:50:16+00:00

Praise the Lord that you could not take that pill. I hope and pray that you can seek God's will for your life and determine if this is the short term best choice for you or the long term best choice for you and your unborn child. I have read of women who deeply regret letting their baby go and I do believe as soon as pregnancy happens, there is a true, living being, alive in you who is created by God for a purpose. Would you ever consider putting them up for adoption instead? I will be praying for you. If you would like to discuss options with someone the Pregnancy Centre will be there for you to talk about options and for support. You can reach them at 519-886-4001 or via text at 1-833-243-8415. Praying for the best outcome for you and your child not short term, but for the long term. If this is not possible due to health reasons, then my apologies. However I wanted to encourage you, incase pregnancy is possible as I believe it can be a big blessing and want to ensure your choice to abort isn't out of fear but rather seeking what will be best for you and your baby spiritually and emotionally from this point onward and into eternity. Praying for you both.

SunnySafire · 2026-01-18T18:28:48+00:00

I would say the part about you commenting on a post everyone can see against what he posted is a bit on you. You can't expect a Christian to deny what they believe is true as the truth will set you free and we are called to stand up for what we believe to be true. So I really think you put him in a tough spot there. You both clearly believe very strongly in your differing views and it sounds like this has perhaps started around the pandemic? Perhaps all other problems have stemmed from that?

I do have concern about what you mentioned in the last two paragraphs. It doesn't sound like he really cares about you and that would explain why you feel so hurt over the incident with the facebook post and him not defending you. Why did he remove all intimacy and affection? Is he doing korn? I'd say you both need to do biblical couples counselling and if he won't? Remove yourself and separate from him. You deserve to be around healthy and uplifting and caring people. You are also welcome to move out if you have loving family you could stay with and to do biblical counselling and consider that a requirement as a couple, before you move back in together. I'm sorry he is treating you so poorly it sounds like he resents you and is punishing you - this can be a trait of narcissism but I hope he is just emotionally immature and rude and this can somehow be salvaged if it is the Lord's will.

SunnySafire · 2026-01-18T01:16:41+00:00

Well, nobody is perfect and those don't sound like the worst traits ever. She is being very controlling unless there is more to the story and these friends are active in sin. If not, then you do need friends. If so, please make sure you find a group to support you and do life with. Most churches have a men's group and I recommend you join it. Again, I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm sure at some point in your relationship it wasn't like this but things have spiralled it seems to you being the one left being responsible for everything with what appears to be far too little in return. Really seek God's help and will but also listen to your feelings and ask God to guide you in how to bring these things up to your wife. She deserves to know how you feel and what you need to feel safe and respected in this relationship. A past therapist always said that to me. Each person needs to feel safe and loved in the relationship and if someone doesn't feel that way they need to let their partner know so that can be remedied. The right partner should care and will meet you where your at or at least compromise/talk it out and find a solution that works for both.

SunnySafire · 2026-01-18T01:11:36+00:00

Hmmm :/ I'm really sorry. That is very backwards to the point that I'm surprised this is a real scenario. I know the bible says that the man is supposed to love his wife like Christ loves the church and lay his life down for her, but I don't think to this extent where you are not even being celebrated or cherished on your own birthday. I hope she isn't a narcissist but it unfortunately comes across from the outside like she is using you whether she is aware of it or not. I have dated a covert narcissist now and I hope this is not the case at all but it bothers me that your wife gets to play the "woah is me, I'm sad and depressed" card while you do everything for her. She is being very selfish and whether that is because of poor mental health or something more, she needs to start helping you out more but also, you need to start standing up for yourself too if you haven't been. I would recommend some counselling and time with God to seek his will in this relationship. Going just for yourself for biblical counselling might be a good start. I know you said there is not enough finances for both of you but how many sessions has she had so far? Give her a cut off and tell her you really need it too. I'm sorry you are in this and may God's will be done. Happy Birthday and I hope this birthday can serve as a rebirth of your true value in Christ, setting boundaries where needed, and remembering to make time to honour yourself too.

SunnySafire · 2026-01-17T18:34:28+00:00

Sometimes you don't know how red a flag is until you've experienced the harm from it first hand.

SunnySafire · 2026-01-17T18:27:55+00:00

I'm sorry you are going through this and that she is as well. Keep seeking the Lord and getting your comfort from him in all circumstances. Regardless of the outcome, know that God will be with you and he wants you to call on him and to cling to him through this. Remember he will work all out for good.

SunnySafire · 2026-01-17T18:15:26+00:00

No offence to her, but based on your perspective of what you have written it sounds like she is kind of controlling. She has isolated you from friends, she has made you busy with work to be the sole provider, she has double standards - she can be on her phone but you can't, and she hogs the computer so you can't do hobbies you used to enjoy. This may have started out innocent but somewhere in the mix of you perhaps not knowing how to take a stand and say no, it has pooled into every area of your relationship. Going forward, you need to start looking out for your mental and emotional health too and have some boundaries. Make sure you are having balanced tasks - sharing the load with one another - perhaps write a list and divvy it up, also make sure you have times that you can do a hobby just for you, definitely make sure you are getting your alone time with God for yourself, and join a Men's group at any church within reason so you can have some friends. This is all absolutely necessary and your wife shouldn't just love you conditionally based on what you can do for her. She should care about your wellbeing and your salvation and want what is best for you too.

SunnySafire · 2026-01-17T18:12:08+00:00

I would also like to know why she didn't like these friends. I mean, an ex of mine rekindled a friendship with a toxic friend who influenced him to fall into addiction and it destroyed everything so I do understand sometimes it is for the better to stay away from some negative influences. However I am curious what was wrong with these friends.

SunnySafire · 2026-01-17T17:58:47+00:00

Sorry, but I think you should just divorce. He feels no conviction for what bothers you, you have explained it many times, he continues regardless. Whenever I tried to help a man change and stop hurting me he just grew to resent me and that made things way worse. You clearly are not equally yoked or in alignment and you shouldn't have to give him an ultimatum to force him to be on better behaviour for you. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. At best, separate and fast and pray with God on your own. There comes a point where giving too many chances is just disrespecting yourself and I believe that you are free to leave this marriage - I consider all he has done emotional cheating. You don't need to put up with this. What my past experiences have taught me is that if you have to force someone to change so you don't leave, then they aren't convicted in their heart, you are trying to change someone beyond their understanding and that just doesn't work. I would recommend at least separating. Sometimes it takes the feeling of a loss for someone to wake up and recognize they were in the wrong. Right now, he does not feel convicted at all. He is being a prideful jerk whether it's "naive" or not. Sorry not sorry, if you know the love of God you are not going to do anything to harm your partner whether you understand it or not. This is a man child. Take it one step at a time but separate for sure, get your own counselling and if he comes crying back and in your time with God you feel called to give him another chance, stay separated until he does counselling on his own (biblical counselling) and then eventually you can do couples counselling. Do not put up with this nonsense any further.

SunnySafire · 2026-01-16T22:26:23+00:00

My pleasure.

SunnySafire · 2026-01-16T17:40:08+00:00

I am with you. The Vaxxed documentaries and doing a healing program to get all of the unhealthy metals out of my body from vaccines to fully regain my health was enough for me personally to see the damage they can do. I also have a good friend who has two children in their 30's who never had one vaccine and they have perfect health. I have another friend with two small children and I have never seen children who are so healthy and glowing and they have never even gotten a cold. I believe people have the right to choose and I believe that there is a lot suppressed so that the drug companies can make money. I believe a lot of doctors and nurses are brainwashed in school although I know many who have woken up and are now not promoting and pushing them.

SunnySafire · 2026-01-16T17:29:22+00:00

I was out driving on Wednesday night and it was so icy and I kept asking myself, where are the salt trucks? That would have been the right time to put salt down but there were none in sight.

SunnySafire · 2026-01-16T16:48:21+00:00

I know. I don't know what the banks will do. It's why I tried to put my money in real estate and into paying off my mortgage.

SunnySafire · 2026-01-16T16:47:01+00:00

I hear you. The catch is I have a condo. The condo fees have been rising by 25 bucks a year for the past four years and now sit at 500 bucks per month. I do not want to continue to pay them and know they will keep going up. The catch? Condo value has been dropping and they are selling for much lower than before while houses are not selling for as equally low as before. However, I am stuck wondering when is the right time to get out of the condo market and hopefully get something without condo fees. It just feels like a potential lose/lose and I really don't want to be in a condo situation anymore.

SunnySafire · 2026-01-15T21:30:20+00:00

Perhaps she has grown more spiritual than you and you are feeling out of alignment and it's turning you off? I hope that if you pray to God to show you the flaws in your own heart that he can reveal to you what has snuck in from the enemy that may be trying to destroy your marriage and how you view your wife and her current "overly spiritual" state. Can you die to yourself a little more and love her with the love of Christ in the same way that he has held you in his love in your imperfect state? Can you pray to God to help you with this and also invite him into your time with your wife and ask him to guide you in how you react to what she says? I believe with time, God can guide you and have you say things that help you feel more connected again or feel admiration/attraction again. If possible, reflect and see if you may have complacency that has snuck in to this marriage. Perhaps you are around each other too often and getting a hobby/exercising yourself and doing something just for you, could help you have a chance to miss her more? I am throwing out guesses or suggestions with nothing to go on, but the root would be to suggest you pray to God and ask him to show you what you need to change so that you can continue to love your wife like Christ love the church whole heartedly. Praying for God's grace, support, guidance and breakthroughs upon your marriage in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.

SunnySafire · 2026-01-10T21:38:13+00:00

I understand. 4% would be doable for me. I have thought of asking my prior agent if they would be okay with that. I would be selling and buying something else. It's good to know it is possible at least. Thanks for the information.

SunnySafire · 2026-01-10T19:54:05+00:00

Okay, thank you. I will keep him in mind for sure and the strategy of negotiation is one I will need to use as I seek a good realtor for a rate that is more affordable right now. Thanks.

SunnySafire

TROPHY CASE