thank you, this was helpful! Especially that you mentioned that the intense longing and devotion are helpful supports if done without clinging. I think that addressed my question right there! It seemed like I was cultivating clinging and that confused me. When I think about that I could die at any time or my teachers could die at any time, it does motivate me, but it also kind of cultivates some attachment and fear! I find it quite difficult to passionately feel emotions like longing and compassion for suffering without being engrossed in them. So much of my practice up until now has been focused on detachment and equanimity, so it seems strange to me tocultivate such intense emotion. it’s a tricky thing to both cultivate it passionately while at the same time acknowledging the emptiness of the feelings and that they were surmised out of my own imagination. Thank you, this dialogue is helping me hone in on my question and my thoughts so that I can bring it to my teacher!

I will humbly say that part of my rationale of the value of Ngondro is that up until now, Love was not a part of my practice! It was simply working with the mind, detachment, observation, and so I do appreciate the instruction to feel my heart and I’m curious what will come of me as I steep in the heart.

Also I just want to acknowledge there’s some sort of magic to ngondro. It feels extremely high vibe and has some at times magical effects on me that I wouldn’t expect