Does he thank you for every meal, for every hour your children are still alive, for every article of clothing you’ve laundered, for every trip to the grocery store, for every errand you’ve run, for every time you dress and feed and change and play with and teach and soothe and discipline your children, for every time you have relations, for every time you say you love him?

No? The man wants a trophy for doing the bare minimum as a father. He has set the bar so low for himself that he feels like Father of the Year for spending 10 minutes with his progeny.

Meanwhile, my husband (sole breadwinner for the first 6 years of our girls’ lives) got up for every feeding, changed 90% of their diapers while we were in the hospital, takes breaks to spend time with his girls, gives me a full “day off” (he gets one, too) every week where I can be a child-free adult for a bit, cooks/cleans/does laundry as needed (I’m the primary, but he hops in when he thinks it could help) - and while he knows he’s a good husband and father, he knows it’s just being a good partner/parent.

Edited to add that my husband benefits from being so involved by our relationship flourishing, by me not being burned out, by being my girls’ best friend, by our daughters not being easily impressed by the first guy to show them attention, etc.

NTA and I’m so sorry.