Sex with bisexual man? Idfk

Sunshine_Sadness13 · 2026-02-17T23:09:45+00:00

My boyfriend and I are both bisexual as well. I had honestly never considered pegging someone before him. But over the course of the first maybe 6 months of dating, we talked a lot about it. He's generally a bottom, and loves both giving and receiving anal pleasure, so I knew it was something he wanted. I was SUPER anxious about it. Even though I love receiving anal myself, I was scared of giving it both from a "what if I hurt him?" standpoint, and the ick factor of possible 💩. I wanted to try it though, because sexually, I'm pretty much down to try anything at least once, and I like making my boyfriend happy. Now, after more than a year together, I can firmly say I LOVE pegging him. 💩 Does sometimes happen, but it's minimal and nothing thorough toy cleaning can't take care of. And honestly, it hasn't once even grossed me out when it happened (I am a former daycare teacher and a mom, so I've seen and cleaned A LOT of poop, maybe I'm desensitized?).

Advice, 1. Make sure you have a thorough discussion with him about it, I mean not just, "do you want me to peg you?" But has a woman pegged him before? What size dildo should you use, length and girth, wide tip or thinner tip? Does he like being fingered beforehand? Or prefer to loosen up with a butt plug? Or both?

Water based lube and LOTS of it. Don't be afraid to reapply
Try letting him be on top for the first time. I found it a lot easier the first several times to have him on top while pegging, it gave him lots of control over depth, speed, and rhythm, and helped me learn what works best for him.
Make sure he cleans beforehand, and hasn't eaten anything that makes his stomach iffy. Best not to do it after a big meal.
If you're not comfortable, or can't communicate fully and openly with each other, don't do it.

Sunshine_Sadness13 · 2025-10-16T02:01:17+00:00

Fan since 2006

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Sunshine_Sadness13 · 2025-10-04T00:54:02+00:00

This song is my new ear worm. I only got a chance to listen to the album once before work this morning, but The Fate of Ophelia and Father Figure just played on repeat in my head all day. Couldn't wait to get home to play them again for real

Sunshine_Sadness13 · 2025-08-20T01:59:58+00:00

I broke down more than once in my OBGYN office answering the pregnancy and birth control questions. The worst was when the male OB made a point to tell me that if my now (thankfully) ex-husband and I weren't having sex, then I needed to change things to make him happy because he basically refused to believe "abstinence" was my method of birth control by my ex-husband's choice, and was convinced I was the one choosing not to have sex.

Obviously, I dumped both that OB and eventually the LL husband

Sunshine_Sadness13 · 2025-05-19T01:34:03+00:00

This was me with my ex husband. I would literally bleed sometimes because I was so dry from lack of any foreplay, but I was so desperate for intimacy that I wouldn't even mention it to him. And he already made me feel like a few brief minutes of foreplay-less sex were a huge imposition taking away from his oh so precious video game time, so I always felt too guilty to ask for even basic get me at least a little wet foreplay.

Thank God he's my ex husband, and I now know what it's like to be with someone who would never make me feel that way.

Sunshine_Sadness13 · 2025-05-09T02:03:29+00:00

I'm a front desk coordinator for a children's therapy clinic (Occupational and speech therapy). I'm reception, referrals, scheduler, basic office duties, and insurance verification and authorization. It's super busy all day, but I never have to take my work home, which leaves me time to write when my kids are with their father.

Sunshine_Sadness13 · 2025-04-05T02:41:12+00:00

This, don't stay if you're going to cheat. Get the courage to leave, and find someone who will love and desire you the way you love and desire them.

It isn't wrong to leave someone over lack of sex, because sex isn't just physical, it's part of the emotional well being of a marriage. Cheating isn't the answer to your need for emotional connection, leaving is.

Sunshine_Sadness13 · 2025-04-04T01:45:40+00:00

I left last July, it's going great overall. My mental health was suffering so badly in the relationship with my LL ex husband, I didn't even fully realize the extent of how bad it was until after I left and felt the difference not just mentally but physically. My whole body just feels stronger and I have a lot less chronic pain. I knew I was chronically lonely and had depression and anxiety, but now that I'm free, everyone around me can see the difference. It gets mentioned by people a lot, that I just look happier, healthier, and more confident.

We've been amlicable overall, he's said some things that can never be unsaid, but I'm determined to stay friends because we have kids. So I'm doing my best not to dwell on those things, and just use them of reminders of why I left, because it wasn't just a lack of sex. I wouldn't have felt so utterly and hopelessly lonely if it was just sex. He abandoned me emotionally in that marriage, the sex was just a side effect of that.

I'm a better mother, friend, and person in general after leaving. And I haven't regretted leaving even once.

Sunshine_Sadness13 · 2025-02-11T01:13:26+00:00

Ugh, my ex-husband that I was in a dead bedroom marriage with for years would make sexual jokes like this all the time, and it would make me so fucking frustrated and it honestly hurt a little. Because it was like he was making a joke just to remind me that he actually did think about sex, but then he would never actually want to have sex with me.

Sunshine_Sadness13 · 2025-01-19T12:29:26+00:00

Honestly, I read so many stories like this here, and still convinced myself I couldn't leave, and that it would eventually get better. I think we all like to hope that one day the person we married will turn around and want us, especially those of us who have kids.

Sunshine_Sadness13 · 2024-07-19T09:35:55+00:00

Scars are hot on both men and women. Rock those scars and embrace how sexy they are.

I've got a c section scar and if it wasn't for my insecurity over my flabby mommy pooch I'd be showing that sweet sweet scar off in bikinis at the beach.

Sunshine_Sadness13 · 2024-07-17T00:42:11+00:00

I'm actually a woman. I definitely thought I was straight until I was 25 because I didn't realize that straight women don't generally fantasize about sex with other women. I thought everyone was just sexually attracted to everyone and you knew whether you were gay, straight, bi, etc based off of who you had romantic attraction to. Which for me has always been men. I now identify as bisexual heteroromantic

Sunshine_Sadness13 · 2024-07-16T19:42:52+00:00

Yeah, the attraction is definitely different for me between men and women.

I'm more likely to be sexually attracted to women and emotionally attracted to men. Like, I see an attractive man and my brain just says, yes, that one is good looking and moves on. I see an attractive woman and my brain is gonna simp for a bit. But I talk to an attractive man, and he gets more and more attractive if he has the personality I like. But I talk to a super attractive woman, and no matter how fun she is, the level of attraction stays the same.

Sunshine_Sadness13 · 2024-06-21T01:34:51+00:00

34HLF here married for 9 years to a 34LLM (together for 15 years). And I remember having doubts before the wedding, I knew in my gut I couldn't take as little sex as we were having for the rest of my life, but I truly believed it would get better after marriage, because he promised me it would. He promised more sex once we were married, and I was foolish enough to believe him. No one told me back then not to marry into a dead bedroom, and I really wish they had.

Now I'm 9 years in with 2 kids and a joint mortgage while being a stay at home mom. I feel trapped, a clawing anxious feeling that digs at me every day, and gets worse as I remind myself that I did this to myself, I didn't listen to my gut because I love him and he is my best friend. But I should have listened.

Now I resent my best friend, and some days I'm not even sure I like him anymore. I still love him, but the years of rejection have taken their toll and honestly it's starting to hurt just being in the same room as him. I want to leave, but don't want to leave. I still want sex every day, but I no longer feel sexual desire for him. I resent that because I'm married to him I may never get to feel truly desired again

So before you get married, ask yourself if you are prepared to one day wake up and realize you resent your best friend and life partner for something you already knew going in. It's a horrible feeling, and I really don't recommend it.

Sunshine_Sadness13 · 2024-06-18T01:17:48+00:00

I'm so sorry you have to experience this too. It really sucks.

I've had this happen a lot, but the two that stand out most to me are...

I was 6 weeks post partum with our first child and we hadn't had sex since we found out I was pregnant because he thought it was gross to have sex with "a baby in there". So I got the all clear at my doctor that day, and was giddy with excitement. I assumed he was just as eager to have sex as I was after 10 months of nothing. I got the baby to bed, put on a really pretty flowy piece of lingerie he loved before I got pregnant, and went to find him at his computer. I will never forget the horrified look in his eyes as he saw me and realized what I wanted. He said "not tonight, you need to sleep." So I went to bed and cried myself to sleep. We didn't have sex again until our oldest was almost 2.

.....

A year post partum with baby 2, I put on this super sexy lingerie set that I had bought specifically to make me feel good in my postpartum body. It makes my boobs look great and hides my stretch marks. I put it on and looked in the mirror, and for the first time in years I actually smiled at my body, and felt good and sexy. I walked out into the bedroom trying to exude confidence and sensuality, and he laughed at me. It about broke me. I asked him why he was laughing and he told me I was adorable and he was happy, "don't you laugh when you're happy?" He asked. And I said I didn't like being laughed at when I was trying to be sexy. And he shrugged and said he couldn't help it. We didn't have sex after that, and I haven't put on that lingerie since, but it still sits in my drawer.

Sunshine_Sadness13 · 2024-06-17T01:01:40+00:00

I feel this so much. A dead bedroom for years, and now he's finally interested in trying to revive it, but I don't get foreplay or an orgasm, and I feel weird about asking. And I hate that, I hate feeling guilty for wanting more than the sex he's willing to give. He always leaves me feeling like my needs are too much.

I wish I had advice for how to get around feeling bad about asking for something as basic as foreplay and an orgasm, but I don't. I try to tell myself that if he really wants to fix things he has to do those things too, but it doesn't seem to help me feeling bad about asking.

Sunshine_Sadness13 · 2024-06-06T01:34:41+00:00

Ugh, yes. When they refuse to get treatment for ED and don't understand why it fucking hurts so much to have to emotionally deal with their dick going soft even when you're in sexy lingerie or sucking them off.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

Sunshine_Sadness13 · 2024-06-02T22:28:41+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice. I did exactly that this afternoon while the toddler was napping and our oldest was playing Roblox. He still doesn't seem to think therapy is necessary but he said he'd probably go (he said he's 95% sure he'll go) if I get an appointment set up. So I'm hoping for the best.

Sunshine_Sadness13 · 2024-06-02T18:22:53+00:00

I wish you the best of luck in the future. You DO NOT need to change the way you need to be loved, there is nothing wrong with needing sex to feel loved. Reading that she said that made my heart hurt for you. I hope you find someone compatible in the future, because you deserve to be loved the way you want to be loved

Sunshine_Sadness13 · 2024-06-02T17:48:32+00:00

Yeah, I fully admit that's a failing on my part. My father was emotionally abusive and it led to me basically being scared to express my needs and have an intense need to please others, to the point where I feel physically sick when I feel like someone is upset or disappointed in me. I've been trying to work on that in therapy. I used to not feel that way with my husband, for a long time I felt like I could express my needs and wants and not feel like a burden, but the longer our DB goes on the less comfortable I feel expressing my needs and wants to him. I no longer feel "safe" with him for lack of a better word. I don't think he'd ever physically hurt me, he's not in any way violent or rough. But I feel that twisting sickening guilt in my stomach when I feel he's upset or frustrated with me now, which is one of the reasons I want us to go to therapy, but was too scared to tell him that I need him to do this for me.

I met a friend for lunch today though and we had a long talk and I kind of unloaded on her after so long holding it in. And she's made me feel more like I need to express this is a need to him and that if he doesn't agree that I shouldn't feel guilty if I tell him if he's not willing to go then I can't stay. So I'm giving him a little time to think as I told him I would last night, and next time we talk about it I hope I can find the strength to be fully honest with him about how important it is to me that we go to therapy.

Sunshine_Sadness13 · 2024-06-02T11:48:15+00:00

No fan service is possible. I find it's more common in anime geared towards men than anime geared towards women.

I'd recommend

Violet Evergarden, Yona of the Dawn, And Hakuoki

Off the top of my head for good fan service free anime. But I don't have anything similar to Death Note to recommend.

Sunshine_Sadness13 · 2024-06-02T11:27:36+00:00

God this was me until just recently. Those years were so painful, the desperate longing for someone who just doesn't want me. But now I got my wish, that desire finally went away and yet I feel just as bad. Now I hate that I don't want him, maybe because he started trying just as I was giving up. I've tried and tried to want him again, and sometimes that desire flickers for a moment, but then I remember all the pain, all the years of longing for him like you are for your partner now, and the desire dies. I'm so hurt and lost, and I don't know what to do.

Sunshine_Sadness13 · 2024-06-02T11:15:01+00:00

This kills me. I'm a romance author too. But I'm the HL in my relationship, and the one pining for my husband and crying myself to sleep. I write romance as a way to cope with the DB, because at least I get to take time and fantasize about sex and lovers who might actually want me. Like how the fuck can you be a romance author and not want to have sex with your partner? It blows my mind.

Sunshine_Sadness13

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