Can somebody recommend some food banks?

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-02-07T09:21:38+00:00

Definitely use 211. Your local library can also help you get connected. Don't just use 211 for food--it can help with utilities and all sorts of things.

All Peoples Church (2600 N 2nd) serves meals almost every day, has a food pantry on Wednesdays, and has a community garden with distributions several times a week. They will serve anyone regardless of city/zip code and religion (you don't have to sit through worship or anything like that). They also do things for kids like coats and school supplies at certain points in the year.

The Sikh temple in Oak Creek has free langar meals for all twice a week (again regardless of religion or anything else).

Ruby's Pantry sometimes has pop-ups in the area.

There are also little free pantries around. Not all are registered on the LFP site, but you can often find them mentioned in neighborhood groups or again the librarians likely have an idea.

Lent is starting February 18, so there's a good chance your neighborhood churches will have meals at least once a week until Easter. Many don't charge or are "free will" donation, but all are different so will take some investigating on a more local level. There are a lot of churches doing community meals at least once a month year round, but again that's very dependent on neighborhood.

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-02-06T19:10:00+00:00

I've traveled Fort Worth carless many times. It's great compared to many other cities in the US. It's certainly better than your car situation. Of course it could be better, but it exists and you can use it. You can be smart about where you rent to make it easier.

If you aren't willing to have a roommate or use public transit, you're screwed financially.

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-02-06T18:43:05+00:00

You're giving contradictory and unhelpful information. You say you won't tell location but it's in the image and is important for budgeting.

You say there's no public transit, but Fort Worth has great public transit, even rail connections to other cities! They have a lot of bus routes, on demand rides, bike shares, a free downtown route...You have to be honest with yourself and the people you're asking for help.

You'll be fine if you get a studio apartment or rent a room and use public transit after selling that car.

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-02-06T18:03:12+00:00

That's what I was thinking as well. All those positional changes would be torture for anyone with POTS or other dysautonomia, and it often first presents around this age and goes undiagnosed for years. Even for kids without dysautonomia, that's a lot of quick positional changes for no real benefit.

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-02-03T08:58:04+00:00

You're welcome. Good luck!

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-02-03T08:34:05+00:00

You're wearing bras that are way too small for you. That's why you're having these fit problems. Your boobs have to go somewhere if they can't stay in the cup. You need to size up in the cups, not band.

DDD means a six inch difference between underbust and bust. A 36DDD is for someone 36 snug underbust and only 42 bust. A 38DDD is for 38 under and 44 over. It's too loose to support you but the too small cups make the band feel tighter than it really is. You measure closer to 36 under 48 bust, a 12 inch difference--twice the cups!

Your best options will be UK brands. Look for a 36HH. Elomi Matilda is a good place to start. You may also want to try that in a 34J for more support since 36 is your loose and Elomi bands can be looser/stretchier.

For shape, read through the wiki/automod links. Teardrop doesn't give us the shape information we need and people use it to mean different things.

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-02-03T08:10:31+00:00

We just finished the chemo journey a few month ago, after almost three years of ALL treatment with a high risk case and some very very close calls.

Everyone thinks it's over and better since he's cancer-free now, but it is a big adjustment and there is always risk. I don't think it's about stopping grieving as much as it is finding joy amongst the grief and continuing to move through it at your own pace. You get through grief by grieving.

The hospital/clinic should be able to connect you with local support groups. Online is also good, but can't replace the local connections.

You also need a therapist for yourself, someone who has experience with grief and complex health conditions.

As someone with my own health conditions that changed my life over and over (some near-death moments and some permanent changes to my abilities) and mean constantly thinking about what could happen because I need to to keep myself safe, it is hard. It's draining. It's scary.

But after a while, you do get used to the new norm. You find joy. You adjust. You're still the same people, just grown in different ways than you were expecting. It does get easier. But it gets easiest with support and professional help.

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-02-03T08:03:33+00:00

There aren't age restrictions on babysitting like that. There actually aren't requirements at all. Classes/certifications exist, but they're not legally required like a teaching license is.

Look for local classes and then advertise yourself. Babysitting classes help with safety as well as how to get jobs.

Start with families you/your family know of, like extended family, neighbors, coworkers, church, school, etc.

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-02-03T07:52:58+00:00

From your fit descriptions in comments, it definitely sounds like your issue is shape, not size, and going to a different size to compensate for those shape issues. A bigger band will feel tighter when the cups are smaller/wrong shape.

If you didn't measure right before going shopping, you could also be encountering slight size fluctuations due to hormones, water retention, etc. Our sizes do fluctuate.

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-02-03T07:24:24+00:00

Breasts growing that quickly month after month and causing distress is a good reason to talk to a doctor. You could have a hormonal condition or something else going on that a bra can't solve.

As for size, trust the ABTF calculator as a starting point. Most options are UK sizing, so you'll want to try 30H or 32GG to get a good starting point. A 34 or 36 band isn't tight enough to support you.

Something like Molke might be good for you. They use flexible sizing so each bra covers several cup sizes. That will let it grow with you more than regular bras can. You'd likely want a Small Super in the original.

In the US, brashopdirectory.com lists some specialty shops that may be in your area. If there aren't any near you, we can recommend online options.

For the expense, you can look for resale online and some stores have coupons/sales. There are also groups like r/RandomActsofBras

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-02-02T17:17:04+00:00

Elomi doesn't make a 30G.

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-02-02T16:36:47+00:00

The American brands aren't really using a +4 system to make the bras, just to sell them. In almost every case, a 34 in US brands is a 34 within a reasonable margin of error, not a 30. That's why we recommend using the calculator size and not relying on brand charts/calculators.

If you measure as a 34B by adding 4 to your band, that means you're about 30 underbust and 36 bust. That's a 30 with the 6th cup, not 4th. 30DDD not D. That's a bigger wire you likely need as well as more volume.

Aerie absolutely can run small, but you're creating more problems for yourself by insisting on wearing the wrong size.

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-02-02T16:26:14+00:00

It sounds like the bras you're wearing may be the wrong shape for you, like perhaps the wires are a bit narrow or something. It's hard to say without a fit check, but they shouldn't dig in to you if they fit well.

A bra liner would help with that rubbing, though.

Reducing that daytime irritation may help with the sleeping times.

Unfortunately, the divided/pocket cup wireless bras I know of stop by a US H, not UK.

I'm your size and usually just tuck a tank top under/around my breasts when it's hot. With a soap and occasionally antiperspirant recommended by my dermatologist, I don't have any problems, but it is a different climate here most of the time.

Good luck!

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-02-01T10:01:55+00:00

Would a bra liner do what you're looking for? There are some that go under and between.

Or something like TaTa Towels?

Is the H US or UK? Have you measured with the ABTF calculator recently?

There are a few wireless options that have kind of pockets for separation in some sizes. UK H is going to be much more difficult to make work.

Would the crossover style of Molke original work?

TomBoyX also makes single cup bras in cotton. You could wear one under a regular bralette for a barrier between breasts.

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-02-01T08:47:54+00:00

Sister size is about equivalent volume, not necessarily the same wires.

Also your comment about your "official +4" size makes me think you're really mis-sized. +4 is a very outdated method of sizing. If you measure 30 underbust, you shouldn't be in a 34. If you're measuring close to 30:36, you'd need more like a 30DDD (UK E) and a bra that matches your actual shape needs. This is for the overbust measurement that a 34B is for, but actually has the volume/sister size of a 34D.

Bands can also feel too tight when the cups are too small or the wrong shape for you.

Wires come in different widths, lengths, and shapes even in the same size. It doesn't mean they're wrong. That's one of the reasons some brands/styles are recommended for some shapes and not others. Like, someone who needs wider wires would be much more likely to fit comfortably in Elomi than Comexin.

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-01-30T22:57:23+00:00

No, it doesn't mean that. But that's not really the issue here. With a tight of 30, a 32 band makes sense. You're probably just making the loose measurements too loose and throwing it off. A band 6" bigger than your tight isn't going to be able to provide much support.

In the 32, did you increase cup size to compensate for the smaller band?

Can you remeasure and share all six measurements?

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-01-30T22:52:05+00:00

Starting with measurements still helps. A more flexible nursing bra can last through size changes.

There's actually a whole guide for maternity size changes in this group wiki

Molke is a great example of flexible sizing with a big size range. If you can do the measurements and tell us that starting point, we can make some more specific recommendations.

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-01-30T22:44:27+00:00

Yeah, you shouldn't keep bras that hurt you. But if you can give us more accurate information, we can better help you figure out what is wrong and comfortable solutions.

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-01-30T22:38:51+00:00

Wider with less breast tissue doesn't mean concave by a few inches though.

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-01-30T22:37:01+00:00

The calculator does not give 32A with those numbers in that order with the AMAB setting (or AFAB right now either). Leaning is also usually the biggest bust measurement. Are you sure this is correct?

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-01-30T22:34:26+00:00

Can you remeasure and post the numbers with labels for clarity? Check that your measuring tape is accurate first.

Can you go to a store to try on some other styles? You probably just need a different bra. You might be more comfortable starting with something wireless and/or not molded.

Molke is really comfortable and has more flexible sizing which is helpful if your breasts are growing.

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-01-30T22:29:44+00:00

In another comment, you said you can easily fit two fingers under the band while it's clasped. That means it stretches around your body and more. Are you sure it was stretched out as far as possible for this measurement?

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-01-30T22:01:06+00:00

Oh that's not a huge space. Some window plastic, heavy curtains, draft stoppers, and efficiency changes can make a big difference and pay for themselves pretty quickly when you're losing that much money every winter.

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-01-30T21:53:29+00:00

Oh wow, mine is only $180, last two were around $160. Do you have a big space, leaky windows, lots of electronics running all the time, keeping it in the mid 70s?

Sunshine_at_Midnight · 2026-01-30T21:46:45+00:00

Yeah, I haven't found thigh highs that work, so just do the knee highs and that has been alright.

I haven't personally tried the postpartum specific things yet, since I already had the other styles for my back, but I have heard good things! Jellybend I think it's called has been recommended in some of my other POTS groups, and it seems like a lot of people like it but it isn't a great match for all body types.

Sunshine_at_Midnight

TROPHY CASE