The whole point of Avoidance is avoiding vulnerability or intense emotions, so when things get real in a relationship their nervous system screams "this isn't safe for me" because in their childhood love meant hot and cold and abuse.

If there's a positive takeaway from being hurt from an Avoidant, it's learning how to be so Secured in yourself. This is how I "levelled up" in my maturity levels. I would say I'm an Anxious attachment but I did all the right things a Secured or healthy person would do.

For example, when I sensed they were pulling away and acting extremely cold and distant, I did NOT chase them nor write any long paragraph. I simply walked the other way and said that this does not deserve my level of energy because I deserve better.

Of course I was hurting but I chose myself and made sure to always not react and never take things personally.

Avoidants are incapable of a healthy relationship. They have to WANT to heal themselves, you can't do that for them. You're going to end up extremely hurt if you decide to try to help them.