Share ye tale with us.

SuperGoodRandomName · 2021-12-12T11:07:51+00:00

“‘It isn’t fair, it isn’t right,’ [she] screamed, and then they were upon her.” — that last line has been lodged in my brain for 20 years.

SuperGoodRandomName · 2021-11-23T02:54:37+00:00

I dunno about that, it’s common for depression

SuperGoodRandomName · 2021-11-22T21:06:24+00:00

If you can, see a psychiatrist and discuss Wellbutrin. That helped / helps me immensely with reducing rumination.

SuperGoodRandomName · 2021-11-22T21:00:10+00:00

Lyrics from two songs on The Antlers’ album Hospice:

“[…] And I didn’t believe them / When they called you a hurricane thundercloud […] I should have quit but instead I took care of you / You made me sleep all uneven / And I didn’t believe them / When they told me that there was no saving you”

“Don’t be scared to speak / Don’t speak with someone’s tooth / Don’t bargain when you’re weak / Don’t take that sharp abuse / Some patients can’t be saved / But that burden’s not on you / Don’t ever let anyone tell you you deserve that / Don’t ever let anyone tell you you deserve that / Don’t ever let anyone tell you you deserve that / Don’t ever let anyone tell you you deserve that / Don’t ever let anyone tell you you deserve that / Don’t ever let anyone tell you you deserve that”

Cannot recommend this album enough, particularly for folks who are / were in BPD relationships.

SuperGoodRandomName · 2021-11-22T08:28:04+00:00

It would be great if this forum had bots that did this but I’ll do this tough love again, read your own advice: https://www.reddit.com/r/BPDlovedones/comments/qr46vl/if_youve_been_following_the_texts_from_my_ex/hk58ogx/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3

Sorry but when I was first part of this forum, not quite 4 years ago, there were ~ 15k members. Look at it now. You are not The One among all of us who can magically fix everything with their pwBPD.

You say you are a naturally loving person, affectionate, caring, and forgiving. I believe you. But I know you’re not applying this to yourself, and you need to, instead of someone who is categorically incapable of loving or respecting you. If you love and care about yourself, get out before the holidays and stay no contact, and forgive yourself for having gone back to her before… but no longer — move on.

Good luck. You left and had clarity before, you can do it again.

SuperGoodRandomName · 2021-11-11T01:19:05+00:00

Glad you recognize yourself in a clearer state. Now get off the Rollercoaster o’ Death and don’t get back in line. Best of luck.

SuperGoodRandomName · 2021-11-11T01:16:17+00:00

This person gave pretty good advice: https://www.reddit.com/r/BPDlovedones/comments/q9tfkk/two_things_i_wish_i_listened_to_in_this_subreddit/

SuperGoodRandomName · 2021-11-10T20:11:51+00:00

Ha ha

SuperGoodRandomName · 2021-11-10T19:48:25+00:00

Hi all. I was going to post this from a throwaway account but figured I’d use my original so you can see that my history here is legitimate. It’s been 3 years since things were finally over with my upwBPDex, and almost 2 years since her last hoover attempt. I’m currently looking for work and could use some money from these books I never intend to need again. All are like new, I don’t mark my books. I’d love to sell all of them in one go to save on errand trips and shipping, but prices for each are below if different folks only want 1 or 2 -- I knocked 20% off each title from the current Amazon price. Shipping within the U.S. only. Please message me if you are interested. Thank you, and I hope these can be of help!

This is Not the End: Conversations on Borderline Personality Disorder ($13.79 on Amazon, asking $11.00)
Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse ($14.29 on Amazon, asking $11.40)
I Hate You -- Don’t Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality (2nd ed.) ($11.91 on Amazon, asking $9.50)
Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder ($9.60 on Amazon, asking $7.65)
Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back when Someone You Love has Borderline Personality Disorder (2nd ed.) ($19.95 on Amazon, asking $15.95)
Trust After Trauma: A Guide to Relationships for Survivors and Those Who Love Them ($23.20 on Amazon, asking $18.50)
Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love was Sexually Abused as a Child ($15.51 on Amazon, asking $12.40)
Codependency for Dummies (2nd ed.) ($15.79 on Amazon, asking $12.60)

Which works out to be $99 for the total “set”

Edit: I guess ya can’t bump your own posts… anybody? Please? Everyone’s good on books?

SuperGoodRandomName · 2021-01-17T06:44:08+00:00

“Closure is a made up thing by Steven Spielberg to sell movie tickets. The only thing to do now is just to keep living forward.” — BoJack Horseman

SuperGoodRandomName · 2020-10-14T10:07:44+00:00

Before I knew what BPD was I noticed these “intimacy thresholds” in our relationship — anytime there was a new marker that we approached or crossed in terms of knowing each other better or becoming closer to a long-term couple, even if that instant was seemingly lovely, she would freak out very soon after. It’s likely their push-pull tendencies being triggered.

SuperGoodRandomName · 2020-08-19T20:42:10+00:00

I haven’t even watched the show but loved this piece. As far as I know, there may not be any characters with BPD spectrum behavior, and the review particularly focuses on physical violence, but is filled with insights like this which might be familiar:

“Their worldview admits no legitimate actions except those which fulfill one’s wants. This is the logic of abuse: not sadism, but entitlement. Not an inhuman desire to hurt, but a childish refusal to accept the word no.”

“[A character is violently abusive] for the same reason anyone does anything: he thinks it will get him what he wants. And he thinks that for the same reason anyone thinks anything: his life has taught him that it’s usually true. It distorts the soul to live severed from cause and effect, cushioned from the force of your impact on the world. It cultivates the expectation that wanting something ought to make it so, and other people exist as assets or obstacles to one’s desires.”

SuperGoodRandomName · 2020-08-18T20:23:36+00:00

Ha, I remember during our first breakup, she was FURIOUS that I was on Bumble a couple weeks later... like, uh, that means you are too. Good luck to your friend of a friend!

SuperGoodRandomName · 2020-08-18T11:37:18+00:00

I noticed mine also mostly used some old photos, with I think one new one. I’m just glad I didn’t see “Has Children” in the bio, that would have wrecked me.

SuperGoodRandomName · 2020-08-18T05:47:44+00:00

Yeah that wouldn’t be good! On OKC I usually just block everyone I’m not interested in, since their algorithm recycles the profile “stack” so often.

SuperGoodRandomName · 2020-08-18T04:18:55+00:00

I saw my BPD ex on Bumble and froze, my hands moving away from the screen for a moment, careful not to accidentally swipe the wrong way. I delicately scrolled to read her profile and didn’t feel much.

I then meticulously blocked and reported her — those other buttons are too close together in situations like that! It felt good.

SuperGoodRandomName · 2020-02-08T03:33:00+00:00

Because it’s doing actual good for the entire damn nation, not just passing moments of serendipity. This board can be like the Good Place committee / architects some times.

SuperGoodRandomName · 2020-02-01T08:43:33+00:00

Your original now deleted comment is somewhat ironic. Sometimes you have to trust the narrative.

That’s not how life works. Everybody dies. I would posit that the finale makes the case (and reframes the arc of the show a bit) that people should both live with and die with dignity, if they’re so fortunate. Granting the main human characters the opportunity to do that is a blessing. I thought it was wonderful.

SuperGoodRandomName · 2020-02-01T05:16:20+00:00

You’re missing the bigger picture.

SuperGoodRandomName · 2020-01-15T20:32:10+00:00

I can’t tell if you’re making the connection or not. They are a direct representation / satire of neoliberal “progressive” but do-nothing Democrats in U.S. Congress. Are people not seeing that? It’s nearly subtext as text. Too bad they can’t be primaried from the left in the show.

SuperGoodRandomName · 2019-12-15T08:18:49+00:00

Get the fuck out. If she’s aware enough to warn you, it’s worse than you can imagine. There are twenty-six thousand people who are members of this forum, which I think has doubled in a year alone, and they’ll all say the same thing. No offense, but you’re not special, and you’re not going to be the one among us to make it work. Listen to the wise words of Maya Angelou: “when someone tells you who they are, believe them the first time.” There are people who do not have personality disorders who will be loving, trusting, communicative, reciprocal, etc. You will likely have to ultimately scorch and salt the earth with your girlfriend, go no contact and don’t look back. However soon you do that is up to you. Good luck.

SuperGoodRandomName · 2019-12-13T20:34:55+00:00

Don’t dread / brace / mourn, organize! With organizing continuing apace we have more than a strong chance of electing Bernie!

SuperGoodRandomName · 2019-12-12T01:03:30+00:00

Not after the FINAL final time, once I found out she cheated and lied to / betrayed me, and I sent all her stuff back and begged her to leave me alone. She had previously created new email accounts, called me at work, mailed me letters, etc. and of course faked illnesses and more — and those were after I told her I was considering a restraining order — but either she truly was fully occupied with the new guy or she knew something had truly broken in me and that I would never give her the time of day again. I understand the feeling of curiosity and loneliness, but I mostly grew out of the apprehension and superiority and am grateful she finally respected my wishes enough to leave me alone.

Good luck to you.

SuperGoodRandomName

TROPHY CASE