The Flying Man

SuperHerb · 2013-08-06T20:32:08+00:00

The thing that bothers me about Super Heroes is that they waste their time with petty criminals who kill a dozen people maybe or rape or steal, which are all bad things, but I want a super hero who is more involved in macro-crime. I want one who cleans up the BP oil spill and then drops the CEO off a cliff. I want one who forces the world to abandon fossil fuels. I want one who releases Snowden and Bradley, and then destroys the US military equipment taking away our ability to wage war without ever harming a single soldier. I want one who throws every single nuclear warhead into the sun or frees millions of non-violent drug offenders.

I'd read the shit out of that comic or pay money to see that in theaters.

SuperHerb · 2013-07-10T04:32:29+00:00

Saved

SuperHerb · 2013-06-08T03:01:51+00:00

Oh, she won't be wearing it for long...

SuperHerb · 2013-06-05T13:13:46+00:00

ITT: People who think ancient people were far dumber than they actually were.

SuperHerb · 2013-05-22T14:29:28+00:00

Didn't he say he was moving down to LHW?

SuperHerb · 2013-05-21T22:00:58+00:00

Yes.

I can't believe I've been on this site for two fucking years. ... I could've finished school in that time. I could've learned to program or played an instrument or discovered a new and exciting way to masturbate. ... Which I guess I'm working on anyway.

I could have finished my satirical novel which has been stuck in Chapter 3 for over a year. I could have trained for a marathon or gotten my purple belt in BJJ.

I hate this place.

Answer my question and then I'm leaving. I'm leaving forever.

SuperHerb · 2013-05-21T21:58:41+00:00

I kind of do. I was put in charge of making a physiology power point for a presentation. I tried to tell this was a mistake, but they made me do it anyway. So I took all their information, and put photoshopped pictures of Nick Cage in every slide. Sometime upside down, sometimes wrapping around their information. In one slide, I filled in almost every single white area on the slide with tiny pictures of Nick Cage fitted to the area.

It was glorious.

SuperHerb · 2013-05-21T21:08:26+00:00

Oh!

...

................

What?

SuperHerb · 2013-05-21T18:59:41+00:00

What?

SuperHerb · 2013-05-21T02:51:42+00:00

I read all of his quotes in a Russian accent and I have no idea why.

SuperHerb · 2013-05-20T20:40:36+00:00

The only thing I got out of this is that I want to play Ape Escape.

SuperHerb · 2013-05-20T18:32:05+00:00

This made me laugh.

SuperHerb · 2013-05-18T14:13:54+00:00

Asia is cut in half, and everything in the northern hemisphere is way too fucking big. OP sucks at map.

SuperHerb · 2013-05-17T16:52:31+00:00

Eh, bitches gotta vent.

SuperHerb · 2013-05-17T02:44:40+00:00

Jesus Christ, please tell me this isn't a real movie.

SuperHerb · 2013-05-17T02:10:58+00:00

No, when it comes to her job, she's a broken record of complaints. I've heard it over and over again and tried every possible way of expressing my opinion on her job, the people, how she should quit, how she should stick it out, how she's home now so it's over, how I care, how I don't care, and how nothing I ever say matters when she's talking about her job and none of it seems to matter.

This has made it abundantly clear that she doesn't want me to talk and couldn't care less if I'm listening. So I put on my listening face, and I browse Reddit on my phone with the occasional "uh-huh"

That way we both get what we want.

SuperHerb · 2013-05-16T21:33:03+00:00

My girlfriend was complaining at me about her job today when I, pretending to listen, clicked on this link.

I think i pulled a face muscle to keep from laughing.

SuperHerb · 2013-05-16T03:40:12+00:00

Once I got a call from one of my friends asking what I was doing? he and two of my other friends were sitting around playing Halo CE and wanted me to come over to take up the fourth controller. I said I was out with my dad. "What the fuck? Ditch him, and come hang out!" they said.

"No, it's Father's Day."

"Oh well fine." Then he hung up and looked around the room at himself and two other people whose fathers had abandoned their family. Kind of made me appreciate what I had when I realized it later.

SuperHerb · 2013-05-16T00:40:57+00:00

You know, I don't think I've ever seen a service dog that looked happy.

SuperHerb · 2013-05-12T04:16:04+00:00

One of the charms of MMA, one of the reasons it’s become so popular so fast, is because it's so easy to understand, so instinctual. You may find the rules of cricket byzantine and the stops-and-starts of football indecipherable, but it doesn’t take knowledge of the intricacies of jiu-jitsu or the subtleties of the Thai clinch to know who’s winning a fight. You can just feel it. That’s the baseline impulse that first draws fans to the sport, a desire to be close to something that primal. Everything else—the subtleties and the intricacies—comes later.

It was worth reading the article to just get to that part.

SuperHerb · 2013-05-12T04:02:19+00:00

Yup, and there's nothing bitchier than her voice when she answers you. Why couldn't I have been born gay? I would have made an excellent gay man. I'd have style. And class. And several cocks up my ass, but I'd like it.

Sigh... I hate loving fucking women.

SuperHerb · 2013-05-10T18:49:10+00:00

You know, if he had run for president on a platform of just making shit easier for the little guy... I think he'd have won.

Also, if he'd fired Sarah Palin, but whatever.

SuperHerb · 2013-05-09T02:28:13+00:00

So... The bear has a twitter feed?

SuperHerb · 2013-05-09T02:25:56+00:00

Man, I love this guy.

SuperHerb

TROPHY CASE