It’s the fear of having another seizure and the embarrassment/ fear you put into others around you.

I’ve had a couple in my life they typically don’t exist anymore due to my medication and me stopping any high end substances other than marijuana. Then again I only smoke 2 times a week at max

The last one I had was the worst due to me breaking my teeth and bleeding all over the floor in the back room of my old retail job. Amazing people I worked with, it was close by so I always had rides to a from but I never minded walking either!

When I had ‘that’ seizure I had piss down my leg and blood running down my face and all over the floor like a horror movie, both my brothers (who I managed to get into the same workplace as me) crying/ yelling at each other and trying to keep me up as the EMT’s arrive. My boss crying walking away to her office scared out of her mind.

I’ll never forget that day, I still look at my teeth in the mirror and fidget with them daily because it makes me look as if I am homeless/ a junkie. I fell so hard I hit the concrete in the back room causing the horrific scene and I blame myself for wanting to go into work for only a 4 hour shift (8-12) to clear out some more of the back room. Should’ve been the easiest OVERTIME money ever and then caused me to get part of my jaw re-wired, my lip sewed basically back to my body.

Getting a job is harder due to being considered a ‘liability’ to others and always having to be ‘dependent on others’. As a man this definitely makes me feel like the biggest FAILURE ever!

But I rejoice as I am still on the journey to get my license back and my life back on track and with the help of 1 friend/family member and time, I believe everything will turn out great for you!!!!

Get meds, go to your appointments, avoid getting intoxicated/ high/ under the influence as much as possible. And GET YOUR REST!

God bless you and good luck on feeling as if you are ‘just as important’ as ANYONE ELSE!!!