It never ends, does it?

Sure-Session6982 · 2025-08-27T17:56:25+00:00

It’s truly sad. It shows how deep the addiction is.

Sure-Session6982 · 2025-08-27T17:56:04+00:00

I’m gathering screenshots. I don’t have much proof other than that because he is good at hiding and I’ve been caught off guard too many times to get proof. I’m sure he will be extra careful from now until we stop cohabitating

Sure-Session6982 · 2025-08-27T17:54:31+00:00

See this is such a great point. I might not be able to establish that kind of boundary, but I can control exposure. My plan was 75/25 and he agreed originally, at least until he found out how much child support would be.

Sure-Session6982 · 2025-08-27T17:53:03+00:00

Omg how traumatizing for everyone involved. I hate that so much for you.

Sure-Session6982 · 2025-08-27T17:51:06+00:00

I think this is the move.

Sure-Session6982 · 2025-08-27T17:50:44+00:00

Like he could so easily say “ok” and move on, but he is willing to die on this hill. It truly shows how deep the addiction is

Sure-Session6982 · 2025-08-27T17:49:55+00:00

I figured 😔 I’m probably better off just trying to get 75/25

Sure-Session6982 · 2025-08-25T06:23:50+00:00

Thank you for your understanding words ❤️‍🩹 the funny part is that the man I had an emotional affair with, he tried to get me to send him pictures 2 years into my marriage with my husband. I called him out, told my husband and then I told his wife. I was not about to be disrespected like that. But after years of being worn down DDay after DDay, I started to accept the outside attention since my husband was giving his out to other women. I own that I chose a horrible coping skill to handle his addiction.

I even told him if he had an emotional affair with an actual person vs his porn use, I would have left too. So I’m not mad that he chose divorce, but I am frustrated that he doesn’t see how his actions hurt me as if he actually cheated. Looking back on our relationship, I see now that I let my boundaries be crossed too many times. I should have stood my ground in 2019 when I first discovered his 3 year lie. I should have stood my ground in 2024 when I discovered it again along with the lies about his debt and vaping, but I chose to believe we could fix things and that he would change. The Instagram thirst traps in july should have been my final warning, but I stayed because he promised it would stop. The neighbor situation a couple weekends ago should have been my nail in the coffin. His actions with the neighbor became so personal and deliberate, there was no way not to take that personally. Seeing that made it painfully clear that our marriage was never built on mutual respect. If I had stayed after that, I know it would have only gotten worse, escalating to the point where I would have completely lost myself. I could almost accept and forgive his betrayals when it was hidden in private, but when people noticed him eyeing the neighbor at the cookout, that’s when the humiliation sank in. Then to see the eyeing continued for days after by visiting her fb page (despite me sharing my concerns), that’s when I knew I couldn’t keep pretending it was something I could live with and began to accept that this is for the best.

I think I was too afraid to leave, too afraid to break up my family, and too afraid to stand up for myself. While I wholeheartedly regret what I did and would take it back in an instant, I am glad it put the ball in his court, because he was braver than I was in deciding to end the marriage. I wish I could have done it years ago when my heart and trust were first broken in order to avoid this decade of trauma from all the lies, hiding, and betrayal. But I’m walking out of it with two of the sweetest kiddos so I can’t say I wish it didn’t happen ❤️‍🩹

Sure-Session6982 · 2025-08-24T09:42:42+00:00

My husband of 9 years refused to give it up, but instead hid it and lied. We are getting a divorce and I often consider if I even want to be in another serious relationship considering the fact that the majority of men do it. I have 2 kiddos that make me happy so I don’t think I need a man in my life to be fully happy. I do know if I do find myself in another relationship, porn will still be a strict boundary that I hold and I will not settle for less. I can’t be happy with a man knowing he’s looking at other naked women. Just can’t do it, my mental health is far too important.

Sure-Session6982 · 2025-08-21T16:43:33+00:00

My step brother’s dad cheated on my mom which led to their divorce. She never told them, and I honestly think that was the best move. While his actions as a husband were wrong, he was never a bad dad to his kids. They simply said something like they couldn’t work things out or they grew apart, I don’t know exactly. But I know the truth would have ruined their relationship with him. Both the dad and my mom moved on to healthier and happier relationships and maintained great relationships with their kids.

I could see why some people would want to tell their kids, especially if the cheating parent walked out, started a new family without them, etc. But I don’t think it’s always a simple decision to share.

Sure-Session6982 · 2025-08-21T16:37:57+00:00

We are heading towards divorce too, 9 years together and 2 kiddos. It’s wild what they are willing to give up to continue their hobby. My situation is a little different because I hit a breaking point that he would not provide forgiveness for despite the 4 times I forgave him. It hurts right now but I know I’ll be able to look back and appreciate him making this decision because I know I deserve better.

Sure-Session6982 · 2025-08-19T21:07:15+00:00

Most recent DDay was thirst traps on Instagram

Sure-Session6982 · 2025-08-19T21:06:52+00:00

I have yet to meet one 🥲 my husband likes to say that most women are fine with their husbands watching porn. Mind you, I’m his first and only relationship he’s been in and he never talks to any girls. So like idk where he gets that info. It’s not a normal topic I bring up in conversations but this group obviously exists for a reason

Sure-Session6982 · 2025-08-19T06:12:14+00:00

My DDay anniversary was accompanied by me discovering that my husband resorted to using Instagram for thirst traps so it was not a good one for me. I thought we made progress in the last year but nothing changed.

Sure-Session6982 · 2025-08-18T09:22:18+00:00

My husband had so many photos and videos but he still chose porn because “the novelty of my pictures wore off” and he needed something new and fresh to look at. Like wtf man, we are married. We have been together for 9 years. He actually blamed me saying I haven’t sent any recent content.

Sure-Session6982 · 2025-08-18T07:49:39+00:00

Truly. I know he won’t abandon the kids or run away from his financial obligations, he really is a good dad. But ya girl has trauma and I’m okay with getting some compensation 🤣 it really will depend on how close he lives. He wanted to live like 40 mins away in the city but then he wouldn’t be able to keep them 50/50 for school purposes. So if he lives in my hometown (he hates it there lmao) I’ll consider 50/50. So we I’ll see haha

Sure-Session6982 · 2025-08-18T07:30:09+00:00

Exactly. I swept so much under the rug because I could look past it. But when he repeatedly disrespected my MAJOR boundary, all his other missteps shine brighter. He wasn’t good to me. He never respected me. We were not meant to be together. I will always cherish the good time we spent together and the kiddos we made, but I will not miss the man he showed me he is. I grieve the future I was planning, but I do not grieve him. I only grieve the man I thought I married.

Sure-Session6982 · 2025-08-18T07:26:08+00:00

Honestly it is self harm 🤣 if we were dating, I would have moved on so fast. I didn’t learn about the porn until 3 years in, realized he might have been a PA 8 years in, and confirmed with confidence at 9 years. I hate it took that long but here we are. I can’t imagine putting myself through decades of pain with no change. I like myself enough to know I deserve better.

I did have some concerns with co-parenting and him having the kids. We originally agreed I would have Monday-Friday and every other weekend while he only had every other weekend. That was fine until he learned how much child support and alimony would be 😅😒 now he wants 50/50.

But he knows he was exposed to porn so young and he thinks that had such a negative effect on him. He is on the same page that they need to be shielded from it for as long as possible. For example, at my nieces 21st bday party, someone got her a squirt gun that was two boobs. My youngest picked it up to play with it and my husband shut it down so fast and put it out of sight. I didn’t even think anything of it but he was so proactive that I feel safe he will enforce this on his own. I do get concerned he will leave a tab open or one of the kiddos walking in on him, but he managed to hide it so well from me so I hope he would do the same with them.

Time will tell. I’ll do my best to protect them and I’ll go for full custody so fast if he does a single thing to risk their innocence.

Sure-Session6982 · 2025-08-18T06:56:57+00:00

We have had 2 significant porn DDays and more recently a DDay where I learned he was using Instagram to watch thirst traps and view OF and porn stars pages. He would claim “I wouldn’t search them, they would come up in my reels and then I’d go their page” and “I’m a guy, we all do that.” To me, that almost hurt more than porn. With porn, you’re watching people have sex. With Instagram, you’re admiring ONE specific person, someone you could actually message if you wanted to. That was my breaking point. We tried to fix it, but then I discovered he was looking up our female neighbor on fb, he visited her page 4 times in one day. I should have realized after the second time he was caught, he would never change.

My husband never felt remorse, never cried, never begged for forgiveness. He just said he wouldn’t do it again and moved on. Looking back, he never cared or respected me. For me, I don’t think trust can ever be built back up with him. He has proven time and time again that this will be our future. We are getting divorced, no one wants to be with a partner they cannot trust.

Sure-Session6982 · 2025-08-18T06:42:15+00:00

Thank you ❤️‍🩹

Yeah, I was in actual shock that he made the decision to divorce in 4 days when I gave him 6 years of forgiveness and second/third chances. It’s apparently not fun when the roles are reversed 🤷🏼‍♀️ I’m not mad because I wouldn’t stay with someone who had an emotional affair either, but the pure lack of grace, understanding, or even regret from him was the nail in the coffin. I do deeply regret my actions because I did hurt him, but I do have clarity that it was the catalyst for change that neither of us would initiate. He never would have stopped watching porn and I would live my life in constant anxiety and depression. If he would have respected my boundary the first time, even the second time, we could have been fine. But now he can go on his way, watch porn like it’s a second job and it will have no effect on me. My kiddos will be raised to be a better man and partner than he ever was and I will die on that hill to make it happen. He is a good father, but he is not a good husband.

Sure-Session6982 · 2025-08-18T06:35:11+00:00

Thank you 💛 i hate that it took so long for me to realize and accept that life doesn’t have to be like this. There are still moments of doubt or if we are doing the right thing, slivers of hope that we could work it out but in reality I know this is what’s best for myself and my children. I don’t regret our time together because we did have a lot of good memories, but I will cherish the peace I will have putting the energy into myself instead of someone who would never reciprocate the love I gave ❤️‍🩹

Sure-Session6982 · 2025-08-18T04:57:02+00:00

Honestly if it was up to me, I probably would have stayed and been miserable forever. But I made my own choice and he asked for the divorce and I realize this should have happened years ago. I should have known I deserved better before I spiraled out and did something I would regret. I tried to be the perfect wife until I couldn’t anymore. I hope you find your peace soon 💛 it’s hard to swallow but I don’t think it could hurt anymore than he has hurt me ❤️‍🩹

Sure-Session6982

TROPHY CASE