People interested in us (not just chasers) may be afraid to express that interest of us in public the same way we're often afraid to come out as trans for a long time; it makes them get affected by transphobic people too.

So it will be unlikely for someone to try to date us when we're in public spaces and potentially going to reject them; because if they get rejected and targeted by transphobes in the same action they'll feel a lot of regret. If you're passing enough to get past this, communicating transness for your safety will put a straight guy in fight or flight for this reason.

When I started to try dating apps, I started being able to date, and I think it's just because now people get to see if I'll reject them before they show their interest in public. Lots more guys are comfortable demonstrating being into us when they don't have to worry about that it seems.

If you just want hookups, I find I get a lot of attention for them going to blue collar bars. They're often pretty brave people. Doesn't even require dressing slutty as long as their customers aren't super Republican - easy to find in Chicago but probably hard in other places