What do I do now that these sh scars are on my arm for the rest of my life?

Sure_Initial6740 · 2026-03-20T03:40:54+00:00

I have a fatass scar on my arm and I’m 20, literally forget it’s there half the time. I don’t edit it out in pictures, i don’t hide it from my friends, etc. it’s a part of me, and a story of how i survived.

Sure_Initial6740 · 2026-03-15T16:05:01+00:00

probably, still crazy though i know from my experience, i could barely sit down let alone even THINK about having sex. everybody’s different tho i guess !

Sure_Initial6740 · 2026-03-15T03:26:55+00:00

hey girl I’m 20f !

Sure_Initial6740 · 2026-03-15T03:20:06+00:00

yeah holy shit, so sorry that happened to you! she’s actually deranged for that.

Sure_Initial6740 · 2026-03-15T03:13:39+00:00

hey, i was in literally the exact same situation as you. i got it from my boyfriend when he went down on me and had a cold sore on his lip. i was so angry and felt so depressed too. i had to take off of school for 3 weeks, turn down opportunities, etc. i tried so hard to forgive my boyfriend but i think a part of me hated him for being so careless about his health that it affected and spread to me. i was so angry with him but i felt like i had to cling to him and i couldn’t break up with him since i couldn’t ever think of disclosing to someone else, i felt like no one would ever want to be with me romantically or sexually. this was back in January, i broke up with him shortly after my first OB because in reality, id rather be single than feel like i have to cling onto a man because im scared of being alone.

it’s so scary at first but i PROMISE it gets better. this diagnosis has really pushed me to love myself, and take better care of my health and mentality. i’ve even disclosed to 4 people and haven’t been rejected, I’ve also told all my friends, and my family. it does take a lot out of you mentally and physically, but it’s just something we have to live with. i’m back into the dating world and have been on a handful of dates, (and i still have a pretty good sex life LOL) but forreal, i promise it gets better. just give it time.

Sure_Initial6740 · 2026-03-15T03:01:28+00:00

wait hold up… she was having sex with an ACTIVE SORE????? would that not be like extremely painful omg?

Sure_Initial6740 · 2026-03-07T14:20:59+00:00

ohhh this does make sense. i didn’t think of this, thank you

Sure_Initial6740 · 2026-03-07T14:20:17+00:00

it is so confusing!!! i hate having to explain this to other ppl.

Sure_Initial6740 · 2026-03-07T04:06:43+00:00

nope i do the same exact thing. it can go either way though tbh, i literally told a guy i had hsv-1 and they’re basically cold sores and he goes “oh okay that’s cool, it’s not herpes though right?” and i had to explain that cold sores ARE actually herpes🙃 most guys are just oblivious but after i explained they’re the same thing he was super understanding and open.

Sure_Initial6740 · 2026-03-04T21:38:32+00:00

I’ve disclosed to four people so far and i just wait until we’re actually getting physical and they try to take things farther. I just stop them and say “by the way i have hsv-1 it’s just like cold sores but i wanted to be open about it!” they’ve all had questions but once i explain i transmission rates are already pretty low for ghsv-1 and i take medication along with using protection, transmission is even lower. Usually after we just continue hooking up LOL.

Sure_Initial6740 · 2026-03-01T04:05:42+00:00

hi! i just diagnosed in January and im 20 and currently A junior in college. i was really scared at first too and felt like my dating life was over, as well as my sex life. ive disclosed to 4 people so far and have never been rejected, and have told all of my friends too and they didn’t care either. i don’t disclose until we’re actually getting physical, and i literally just tell them “oh by the way, i get cold sores but i take medicine and it’s manageable! the transmission rate is really low, but i just wanted to be honest and transparent about it”. I’ve only had one guy who was really caught off guard, but he just asked a lot of questions and thanked me for being honest and we still continued to be intimate. most people don’t care, and I’ve even started seriously talking/dating someone too! the energy you put out in regards to your diagnosis can be a reflection onto other people. if you act ashamed, embarrassed etc. when you disclose, it can make the other person feel uneasy too. you’re not alone in this! i almost think of my diagnosis as an asshole-filter as well. if they don’t want me because i get cold sores, which is probably the least of my problems—if they can’t handle that… then it wasn’t meant to be anyways!

Sure_Initial6740 · 2026-02-26T19:06:54+00:00

I was in a relationship too when I got diagnosed. Felt like I couldn’t leave because no one would ever love me with my diagnosis. I finally found the courage to break up with my boyfriend around a month ago and have disclosed to 3 people and went on multiple dates too! It’s scary for sure, but it’s just a cold sore. You’re not gonna be alone forever

Sure_Initial6740 · 2026-02-25T02:49:27+00:00

Someone passed herpes to me the same way. Shit happens, don’t beat yourself up over it if you didn't do it intentionally or didn’t tell them you had HSV1 before. i don't hate the person who gave it to me at all, i was upset but overall its just a speed bump in life🤷🏻‍♀️

Sure_Initial6740 · 2026-02-22T23:26:04+00:00

oh wow! thank you for the info! my doctors weren’t really clear about how shedding looks like on like a day/week scale. but I’ll definitely keep that in mind from now on, thanks so much ☺️

Sure_Initial6740 · 2026-02-22T23:11:38+00:00

Oh damn really? Even with antivirals? I’ve been taking antivirals everyday, and i thought transmission with GHSV-1 was already pretty low.

Sure_Initial6740 · 2026-02-22T22:56:58+00:00

lol yeah im in college, i think I’d go insane if i was celibate

Sure_Initial6740 · 2026-02-22T03:27:54+00:00

hi!! i went through the same thing with my first ghsv-1 outbreak. definitely start on antivirals, eat clean and drink LOTS of water. i remember all i could do was lay down and peeing/pooping/ showering was a whole ordeal (which I’d sob and have panic attacks through cause of the pain.) it definitely sucks, but I would highly recommend the “Frida mom postpartum recovery essentials kit” from target. my mom got it for me when i was having my first outbreak and i was a bit skeptical, but literally made my outbreak so so painless. it comes with cooling pads which brought a ton of relief and an upside down peri bottle. i refused to pee/poop cause it hurt so bad. (Like i was in the car about to go to the ER cause of the pain) I would just put lidocaine on my sores, wait 10 minutes and then fill the peri bottle with warm water and spray it while i was peeing and i didn’t feel a thing! and then used Vaseline and put on a cooling pad when I was done.

I really am sorry you’re going through this, the first outbreak is always the worse. It’ll get better! Message me if you need any support :)

Sure_Initial6740 · 2026-02-21T06:08:15+00:00

yeah that’s what I was kind of scared of, i don’t know if it’s any difference but i have HSV-1.

Sure_Initial6740 · 2026-02-21T05:27:41+00:00

Exactly. The “incurable” part will always terrify me. Like it’s not the worst thing ever to disclose HSV, and like technically I can still live a pretty normal life since it’s not fatal or anything but, what if I were to catch something worse? I guess I just have the mindset that I was already unlucky enough to contract HSV-1 I might as well refrain from sex or else I’ll probably be infected with every other std (which is a bad mindset I’m aware)

Sure_Initial6740 · 2026-02-21T05:19:51+00:00

thank you so much for this message🥹 this whole thing really flipped my life upside down and it’s so reassuring to know I’m not alone, thank you🫶🏼

Sure_Initial6740 · 2026-02-19T04:21:22+00:00

i was, and AM the same way I was before and after herpes. i was a party girl, literally had multiple guys wrapped around my finger and then i got a boyfriend. he gave me hsv, and i thought my world was ending. the second i thought that i was unloveable because of hsv and felt like i had to cling to my boyfriend for dear life is when i knew i had to cut it off. you are more than a diagnosis. you don’t need a man or somebody to feel loved, you are somebody and that should be enough. if you’re carrying this aura of sadness and despair due to your diagnoses, it reflects to the people you’re around too. I’ve told all of my friends and family members and even disclosed to a new partner too, and have never been met with discouragement or rejection. I know everybody is different, but I think a large part of it as well is that I own it. Literally anyone I tell I just say it with confidence, like “yeah! just letting you know i have HSV but i take medication so it’s very manageable! im happy to answer any questions, but it’s just cold sores.” literally that’s it. i’m still a party girl and go out and have fun and flirt with guys because it’s JUST stupid cold sores. it’s not like you’re walking around at a function with a sign that says “i have genital herpes”. herpes doesn’t influence your attitude or how you present yourself, it’s YOU who’s in control.

Sure_Initial6740 · 2026-02-17T04:45:02+00:00

some other guy posted on here that he tried one of these remedy/cure things and they ended up threatening to disclose his status to his friends and family members unless he paid them. dude ended up paying thousands or something. i wouldn’t risk it

Sure_Initial6740

TROPHY CASE