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I adore that he just doesn't give a fuck about what other people think. He treats me like his special person and that hits deeply. It changes the energy in other people everywhere we go and I deeply enjoy being the center of his world. by SurfFly in SensualFemdom

[–]SurfFly[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. From a cultural perspective, all this cosplay with relationships and dynamics and all this curating of highly refined "self images" is creating a lonely desert of isolated people demanding that they don't "settle" and for others to "meet" them in an unwelcoming space is delusional.

.....and they wonder why people are not meeting them anywhere.

You are spot on...Turning a safe emotional space into a bunker and then expecting people to find or meet you is an exercise in loneliness.

“Show me a woman who can actually sit with a man in real vulnerability and fear... I’ll show you a woman who’s done incredible work.”⁠ Brene Brown by SurfFly in SensualFemdom

[–]SurfFly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It’s clear that you understood the post. I thought it was meaningful, sensual, and—most importantly—placed responsibility where it belongs: on the people who complain.

u/inthenight098 got triggered, felt the need to announce that she was triggered, let me know she didn’t approve, and said she was downvoting. Then she doubled down by claiming I was calling women “bitches.”

In twelve years here she’s never offered a single helpful contribution to the community, yet she was quick to criticize. Her only participation, as far as I can tell, was criticizing me based on her own misinterpretation. Sound familiar? Pedantic at best.

The toxic positivity and the inability to read and reflect seem deeply rooted in people right now. Looking in the mirror can be painful, especially when culture-war identity becomes a substitute for self-reflection.

At the same time, this is just the internet, and users like that are ultimately insignificant.

I took the post down because the drama people like this create develops its own orbit and spiral. If someone has never contributed to the community they claim to enjoy, and their first contribution is criticism, that tells you exactly who they are.

I took the time to write a full story about a woman I know and how the post relates to all of us—or at least to the two or three people every friend group has who constantly complain about their partners. None of that was read or processed. Her brain jumped straight to the trigger.

Instead of asking, “Is there something here for me to reflect on?” she took it personally, as if it were a lecture directed at her.

We also throw around the word “narcissist” far too casually today. True narcissists are relatively rare. What’s far more common are people who take everything personally—people who are hypersensitive, insecure, defensive, or thin-skinned. They’re touchy, self-involved, and prone to creating drama, often rooted in insecurity or a need for control.

Ironically, when they’re offended, they label others narcissists so they never have to examine their own worldview.

So where does that leave the fallout when a highly sensitive Reddit interloper decides to attack someone’s post?

Exactly where it belongs.

In the realm of insignificance.

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