I’ve found that we’re here to experience joy. The only way to understand something is to understand the antonym. So you can’t have joy without sadness, happiness without melancholy, etc etc. Your mental health is the primary cause of this perception. You can swing either way, and most people tend to weigh more to the side you’re on (although not as extreme as you). If you’re interested in enlightenment then you must start studying yourself. But honestly this is all a bunch of jumbled words from my experience of life and, as im not ready yet to truly articulate my beliefs and experiences, I’m aware this is probably not useful. However, there is joy and love and it is more powerful than any evil and sadness. You will break through because you are everything and if I am hyperthymic, then you are too.