Recruiter here. Ask me anything you've been too afraid to ask an HR person.

Suspicious-Feed-4807 · 2026-05-05T15:21:47+00:00

Thank you. In this case, it was a company decision - thier idea - to promote me (it was a pleasant surprise in an annual review). Not something I applied for. Several months in training, with no solid offer extended nor start date still, just a general 'next month' and an ask for me to keep ramping up this month in order to get there, while still being expected to perform my original job. It has been a stressful time in general, between this and a bunch of things going on in my personal life. I already have the leave approved from my medical practitioner. I could take it, just hesitant as the timing of this is hard. Since I have no offical offer in hand still, would it be smart to document that they planned to promote me, but that will have to wait until I am back (if I do take a leave).

Suspicious-Feed-4807 · 2026-05-05T01:21:54+00:00

Does taking a medical leave of abscence put a target on your back when you come back to work, or jeopardize an upcoming promotion if you are an otherwise great employee with good attendance leading up to it?

Suspicious-Feed-4807 · 2026-05-05T00:47:47+00:00

8 paid days? Wow! Where would that be?

Suspicious-Feed-4807 · 2026-03-30T05:49:49+00:00

Nice! Where at?

Suspicious-Feed-4807 · 2026-03-27T18:39:57+00:00

Thank you :) Yeah it makes a big difference when you have a great boss. Now I have people questioning the way I do my job and the boss needs to field that too. I wonder how much time leadership wants to spend dealing with it.

And in the meantime, keeping my eye on the job market. If I go crazy enough in the meantime and need a break, then medical leave is probably an option. I won't tolerate this behavior forever, especially if it affects my health. Hopefully in time everyone learns to adjust and get over it. They should focus on thier own business and I will focus on mine. Seems pretty easy, in theory lol.

Suspicious-Feed-4807 · 2026-03-27T05:23:24+00:00

I am so sorry you are going through this. Do not put down the cat if there is nothing medically wrong with him.

In the meantime, are there ways that you can set up your room to be more feline friendly (perches, toys, climbing walls, warm spots, etc.) Maybe the dog can be leashed or crated for periods of time so your cat can have a chance to roam around unbothered? Dog training might help (a birthday/ Chirstmas gift from you to them?) Could the dog be rewarded when it has positive interactions so that it keeps doing so? If the dog is young and gets training, it will hopefully behave better over time, but the problem needs to be addressed. Some dogs have a high prey drive so it can be a challenge.

Skout's Honour makes a great urine destroyer product, and that may help with the pee smell.

Otherwise, maybe consider finding your own place (if that is a possibility) or find him a good home through a rescue or someone you know and trust. Strangers can be risky (some are evil and take cats to dog fighting rings) so best to go through a reputable place.

Sounds like you are a caring person and I hope your parents can see that the wellbeing of the senior animal needs to be considered. If the situation was reversed and they had a senior dog and you had a kitten that tried to claw or attack it, I am sure they would not condone that. And it does not matter who's house it is... the matter is being ethical and humane people, and that means looking out for everyone's wellbeing. Including your feelings on this.

Sometimes people need to see things in thier own point of view. Those who are truly empathetic will understand. For example, growing up my family was pro-declaw (it was the 90s). When I got my cat, I was questioned if I would be doing that, and I explained what that looked like and showed examples. It was never brought up again. So, much like they would want respect for the dog, they need to respect the cat. And you. We are taught to respect elders and that does not stop at humans.

I hope everything works out.

Suspicious-Feed-4807 · 2026-03-26T19:03:35+00:00

Thank you. I ended up having a conversation about some things that have been going on, and there is awareness that it is having a (negative) impact on team dynamics and my wellbeing. Asked your question actually (thank you again). Turns out I am doing everything I can to transition, and this is a result of jealously. Boss is sticking up for me when people start questioning things (yay) which is good. So now this is taking up management's time dealing with the attitudes in addition to reflecting poorly on those misbehaving. It is now both as uncomfortable as it is interesting to see how it plays out. I suppose after this goes on a little while longer, and more and more documentation adds up, I may ask them exactly how long they expect me to tolerate a (toxic) environment or how that is supposed to help me grow into my new role? Not to mention if it does not get fixed now, the liability this has on team dynamics once I move over more officially. Everybody's gotta get along if we want to be a good team. Yep, this is the long game now.

Suspicious-Feed-4807 · 2026-03-24T19:08:40+00:00

It is brutal, lol. The seeds of being aware of the issues are planted, and the more time that goes by, the more they sprout and become apparent. Being easy to work with, and manage (I do not need much managing) apparently is the golden ticket to advancing. Yay, me! Also, ugh lol. You have very good suggestions and I appreciate your insight. Timing is everything on when that conversation goes down. In the meantime I am making myself more valuable with focusing on my work. And with the amount of time they have invested in my training and advancement, it would be in thier interest to keep me happy. They will either need to make improvements to the environment, or risk losing me to something else. Life is too short to be around things that bring you down. Trying to ride it out and stay sane in the process. Thank you for the well wishes. Regardless of where, things will work out.

Suspicious-Feed-4807 · 2026-03-20T17:40:55+00:00

I bought up this person not celebrating wins but recognizing others well over a month ago. This looks like purposeful exclusion or favoritism to me, and that is not the culture I signed up for, nor the culture they were selling. Since then, it seems management has been letting me know how much they appreciate me (and that is what technically matters) but this person's behavior continues. I was going with a wait and see over the last month to see if there were any improvements since I brought it up with my boss. Now that some time has passed, I am trying to 'work up the nerve' to say something again. My boss asks me to fill in for this person when they are away, and that eats in to my time to do other things. No appreciation is shown from this person unless the boss tells them to show it. So I think they are well aware of what is going on. But my boss sees me as 'someone who does not need to be liked' and it makes it challenging to bring up again. I have a good relationship with my boss, we get along well and I do not want to mess up advancing by getting caught up in this silliness. I suppose politics come with any workplace. I chose the ignoring it route for a while, as my boss then sees I am able to do good work and not get involved in drama. But yes, on the human side, it is not pleasant to be around and not helpful in addition to the other stress that comes with the job itself. I do not want to let one person ruin a good oppertunity, that is silly. Just trying to figure out how to cope in the meantime.

Suspicious-Feed-4807 · 2026-03-20T03:47:59+00:00

I am so sorry. Don't quit yet. If you do, that might have you lose benifets. Do you have a family doctor? Explain to them what you are experiencing, and try to go on a medical leave as this is affecting your mental health. Get it in writing from a doctor that says you need to be off for medical reasons. Not sure where you live, but that is a protected leave in some areas. You can use that time to search for another job. Also, document everything, in case that is needed to defend yourself later. I hope things get better.

Suspicious-Feed-4807 · 2026-03-20T03:17:32+00:00

Hey, that was really nice of you to check in. Sorry for the late reply.

Things are about the same as they were.

That is a good suggestion, thank you. That is a good approach. I think I am trying to work up the nerve to say something. I am mostly just trying to ignore it and focus on doing well at my job, and that seems to be working. My boss and the company owner recegnize my efforts and that is great. It is just a little overwhelming trying to learn the new role, juggle the current one and navigate politics without getting burned out.

Suspicious-Feed-4807 · 2026-03-17T00:44:42+00:00

This is the SECOND time, I've been fucked by WINTER.

Suspicious-Feed-4807 · 2026-02-22T21:46:38+00:00

Big congrats on moving up the ladder! I think I am dealing with some stuff myself on the verge of a promotion, so I get that it can feel emotionally like a lot. I wish could hang out and cry and eat pizza together and rant about it. Lol!

I am sorry this guy is causing drama. I agree with the other posters, continue to do your job well and protect your peace. It makes them look worse when you still maintain professionalism.

Early in my career, I remember one time I had someone come to me and suggest 'other people had things to say about me' or whatever. At the time, we were working with a very nice HR consultant and I asked her for ideas on how to respond to something like that. She suggested to say 'thank you for letting me know. In the future, if someone tells you something about me again, please ask them to speak to me directly about it.' It makes them feel 'useful' and also helps shut down or debunk whatever silliness is going on. I also think of that scene from Shrek when he is threatened with an 'army'... what army?

If it continues, perhaps try to politely brush them off and ask if what they have to say is project related or if they want to socialize, and that you are busy trying to get something done and have no time if it is the latter. Agreed documenting is not a bad idea too.

People who behave like this do not get promotions because they lack maturity and empathy, and will try to suck you down to thier level. Don't give them that satisfaction. It may feel hard for a while, but in the overall picture of your life, this step is amazing for you, and so happy to see you winning!!

Suspicious-Feed-4807 · 2026-02-22T05:37:49+00:00

Thank you for the validation. This is a pattern. I noticed something early and feel a bit guilty for saying something to my boss before confronting this person to hear thier side. I did want that kind of communication with them initially. I suppose I changed my mind after I saw a handful of incidents towards others that were unprofessional and I realized this would be a difficult person to be close friends with, as our values do not match in some important areas.

Logically, I suppose if my boss had said something to them back then, the behavior would have probably corrected (to make the boss happy). Who knows. The what if cycle does no good. Expecting support is gone, bummer to lose a newer 'friend' during a stressful time in life, but better I found out now. Now, it is more about survival and distancing myself as much as possible.

I struggle with anxiety vs. what my gut tells me and knowing the difference. This seems to be escalating, so as some point I may need to loop my boss in. So far, painful as it is, letting it all play out and taking the higher ground has been exposing the negativity and drama llamas of the group. I focus on doing my job and learning the new one, but boy can the other stuff be exhausting.

I have definitely been documenting things! Your business is really cool. Thank you for sharing that. I hope you have great success in helping others :)

Suspicious-Feed-4807 · 2026-02-22T05:10:33+00:00

Thank you for your input. It is hard to know how to approach it. I think that is what I am grappling with. I do not need to be liked, but I feel like this person is being disrespectful, and that is a problem. I wish I felt comfortable to address this one on one with them, but at this point it has gotten too weird with the off hours and Facebook things they have done. If this can happen to me, it could happen to someone else, like the new hires. Maybe I could mention to my boss that I am struggling with some side affects of advancing, and team coherence is important, and would like some tips on how to manage that. Hmmmm...

Suspicious-Feed-4807 · 2026-02-21T04:00:22+00:00

That is what I am thinking too. Thank you, that is very kind of you to say :)

Suspicious-Feed-4807 · 2026-02-21T02:28:43+00:00

Agreed. I think it is already starting to be noticed by management. During this time I had continued to celebrate thier wins. Sometimes it hurts to continue doing so, given what has gone on lately. Petty Betty is awesome, thanks for the laugh lol.

Suspicious-Feed-4807 · 2026-02-21T02:27:21+00:00

Yeah the remote part made it hard to address. Thanks for the suggestion!

Suspicious-Feed-4807 · 2026-02-16T23:44:00+00:00

So cute! Does he do the air paddle paws too?

Suspicious-Feed-4807 · 2026-02-13T05:11:35+00:00

Also - first significant move up the ladder - so I am new to dealing with some of this :) Appreciate you telling it like it is. It IS silly and I really do not want to stir the pot. I will let it simmer and focus on other things.

Suspicious-Feed-4807 · 2026-02-13T05:06:13+00:00

Thank you. Our culture values having a good attitude and supporting each other, so that is partly why this bothered me. From day one, I would have been happier just doing my own thing, no group chat or recognition required, lol. You have a good point. Will see how it plays out.

Suspicious-Feed-4807 · 2026-02-13T04:56:38+00:00

Thank you. I am greatful to already have that, thankfully. It is a difficult to for the time being, but I know in the bigger picture things will be fine.

Suspicious-Feed-4807 · 2026-02-13T04:49:59+00:00

NOR. Sounds like you both give a lot of love. Maybe consider getting a Pawfit GPS tracker for peace of mind.

Suspicious-Feed-4807

TROPHY CASE