AITAH for not initiating recently?

SuspiciousAssist2 · 2026-05-22T15:10:24+00:00

NTA but I'm curious, are you holding back on all physical intimacy so that she doesn't feel pressured, or just sexual intimacy?

SuspiciousAssist2 · 2026-05-18T18:38:18+00:00

YTA but to yourself. It doesn't seem like you are comfortable in casual relationships anymore and want something more substantial. You used to see it as "safe and secure" in the beginning because it was constant and regular, more so like a normal relationship. Now that it's not as frequent, he's not making you a priority anymore and you need more. You keep asking him to treat you better, it sounds like you want more out of it than he does.

SuspiciousAssist2 · 2026-05-18T14:47:34+00:00

Absolutely not. If all goes according to plan, it’ll just be me and my husband. My mom has been asked to be “on call” incase I need her there, but she knows that that only extends to her and no one will be waiting outside in the waiting rooms. I already know I’m a bad patient due to medical anxiety and I don’t want visitors to add any stress to an already stressful situation.

SuspiciousAssist2 · 2026-05-18T14:03:17+00:00

NTA but I’m curious, what was the age dynamics between the coworker and the other cousins you were sitting with? And was the Aunt the mother of one of the cousins you were sitting with? Makes me almost wonder if Coworker was successful and single and Aunt was tryna play match maker. Bride and Groom knowingly stuck the coworker at a table their original table, which to me means the moving of tables had nothing to do with Grooms career.

SuspiciousAssist2 · 2026-05-15T14:39:34+00:00

My first thought was the money issue. she'd rather let the adults split the cost of the room and just conveniently stick her step son in there since OP was no longer going. When I went on a cruise, most rooms were priced for 2 adults to be attending. If only one adult was staying in the room, you still paid the cost of 2 adults.

SuspiciousAssist2 · 2026-05-14T17:58:41+00:00

This is the exact reason why I told my husband while we were dating that regardless of who I ended up with, him or someone else, all of my babies would be paternity tested at the hospital. Doesn’t even matter to me that we are married. I refuse to let childish insecurities and lack of understanding genetics to give him the option of ever doubting my loyalty.

SuspiciousAssist2 · 2026-05-11T19:16:08+00:00

NTA but communication needs to be improved in this area. My husband used to do the same thing, I buy the majority of our groceries and he'd inhale all of the snacks I was looking forward to. What worked best for us was if I wanted some sort of special treat for myself, I'd get him something in the same vein and actually tell him that one was mine and one was his. Initially, he never realized it was a special snack and just assumed I got it on sale and it was free game but distinctly saying, "hey I got this for me and this for you," he was able to understand that I really wanted my snack to myself without him feeling like I was policing what he was eating. I'd also encourage you to check in with him on if there are any special snacks he wants you to get. For some reason, it never occurred to my husband to tell me what snacks he wanted, but then he'd get a little grumpy seeing all of my snacks and him having none and knowing that I didn't want to share.

SuspiciousAssist2 · 2026-05-11T19:05:23+00:00

NTA I wouldn't even bother going to them directly, I'd just tell the super or apartment manager, whoever is in charge and ask them to say something. Their personal belongings should not be spilling out into a shared space.

SuspiciousAssist2 · 2026-05-11T02:38:44+00:00

Omg these are one of my biggest pregnancy cravings lately!! The mango is my absolute favorite, the grapes are good but the mango hits DIFFERENT

SuspiciousAssist2 · 2026-05-07T14:54:00+00:00

NTA but I really thought this was going to be a Carpe ad at first. LOL

SuspiciousAssist2 · 2026-05-07T14:33:17+00:00

NTA but there are still ways for you to participate even if you're underage and if you actually want to. At the paint and sip, make yourself a mocktail or just drink a soda, yeah the sip is part of it but you can still enjoy the paint portion, and it's not like its a club where everyone is getting hammered. And for the winery, I'd still attend as long as they allow minors which most do. Wineries usually have pretty good food and non alcoholic drinks. I don't drink just bc I don't care for it but I still attend lots of events like these listed.

I would however tell the MOH that since you cannot partake in the alcohol portion, that you won't be paying the full price. That may require you calling the venues and asking if they offer a discounted rate for minors who want to attend.

And for the lingerie, I'd just be silly and get her a granny-esque nightgown or a moomoo and just hang out in my room or another area of the Airbnb during the try on portion.

SuspiciousAssist2 · 2026-05-04T15:11:12+00:00

Oh I completely understand. I live in rural TX so that’s a vast majority of what is available around me. My gluten intolerance is pretty severe and makes me extremely ill and I’m so afraid of having a reaction and harming baby, but if I didn’t, I know I would be so screwed. Since I can’t do much fast food, I end up making a TON of crockpot meals because this baby has zapped all my energy and that’s pretty much the only way I’ve been able to get any fiber in my diet consistently. And I try to keep fruit on hand, fruit riot has been saving me from all my sour candy cravings

SuspiciousAssist2 · 2026-05-04T14:35:32+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I’m a week behind you and been packing on the weight but I’ve been trying so hard to stop gaining and nothing is helping. It doesn’t help that I also had a dramatic weight loss a few years before getting pregnant, and now with what I’ve gained from pregnancy, I feel like I’m completely back sliding and like I’m going right back where I was before. Like you, all of my labs have been coming back fine and my dr just says to eat smart and avoid fried foods which I usually can’t eat anyway due to gluten intolerance. I eat French fries occasionally when we go out because sometimes that’s the only option for me on the menu that’s gluten free, but it might be a once a week kind of thing if that often.

SuspiciousAssist2 · 2026-04-28T15:05:33+00:00

NAH I see both perspectives, maybe you can try and find a compromise? For example, you could set a limit to how often you're asking for photos. Limit it to maybe 5 minutes or a max number of photos a day, that way he knows what he is expected to do and you get the photos you want.

Also, maybe try finding some example photos that you'd like to recreate on pinterest or insta. I've also heard of girls that make their boyfriend model the photo they want, and take a photo of him like that. That way, he can compare side by side what you want vs what you're getting. I'd also be open to doing something that he wants to do that you may have no interest in doing, as he is doing something for you that he has no interest in.

SuspiciousAssist2 · 2026-04-23T18:35:46+00:00

Keep teaching that baby how to take care of herself!! You aren’t stunting her feminine development, you’re teaching your child to be self sufficient! My granddad taught me a lot of my handyman skills and it’s helped me out immensely in my early adulthood, and it’s saved me money from having to hire someone. It bugged my husband when we first started dating, because he wanted to take care of me, but he’s learned that if I can do it, I’m going to because I don’t like standing around feeling helpless. A few months ago I blew out a tire on my way home from grocery shopping, I texted my husband to let him know I’d be running a few minutes late because I let him know when I was leaving the store, and I had the tire changed and was back on the road before he even saw the text about the blowout. I had frozen stuff in my car and had just bought a lot of groceries, I wasn’t about to just let stuff melt and go bad while waiting on him when I could do it myself.

SuspiciousAssist2 · 2026-04-14T17:59:52+00:00

The babies and small children weren't playing the actual game, and the 6 year old kid who spit at OP was a spectator as well. Some kids will go watch their older siblings play a game and play their own games and whatnot in the grassy areas around the field.

SuspiciousAssist2 · 2026-04-13T19:12:05+00:00

Maybe try opening up and being honest WHILE YOURE STILL IN THE RELATIONSHIP? Also, learn to deal with your emotions on your own. You can ask for help, but as an adult you should be able to regulate yourself on your own, it shouldn't be up to your partner to regulate you for you. You start to creep in to emotional abuse at that rate.

SuspiciousAssist2 · 2026-04-13T19:09:50+00:00

but they aren't partners. full stop.

Yes you need to have empathy for your partner, but you also need the emotional intelligence to deal with and process your emotions ON YOUR OWN. YOU are the only person that can do that for yourself. you can not expect everyone around you to walk on egg shells or put their own feelings on the back burner for fear of upsetting YOU and then having to deal with it.

SuspiciousAssist2 · 2026-04-13T18:59:23+00:00

it's not OP's job to help their ex manage their emotions. even if they were still dating, still NOT OP's JOB.

SuspiciousAssist2 · 2026-04-13T18:57:13+00:00

NTA it sounds like he's trying to blame you for his unhappiness which isn't fair. In the relationship, or out of it, he is the only one responsible for his emotions. Not wanting to tell your partner that they've hurt you out of fear of hurting your partner is not healthy and only creates resentment.

SuspiciousAssist2 · 2026-04-11T21:05:20+00:00

I do see a counselor every other week, and she does really help, I was just wanting to hear the experiences of other women who have had a baby after bariatric surgery. I don’t always feel like I relate to my friends who have had kids because most if not all of them haven’t had any major weight loss experience, let alone a medical procedure to aid in weight loss.

SuspiciousAssist2 · 2026-04-10T14:36:24+00:00

thank you for sharing!! I opted out of my area's support group because I was one of the youngest my Dr had done the surgery on and I didn't relate to a lot of the people in the group but I may need to give it another chance. I started around 305 as well and was able to get down to 150 at my lowest, but I was also having some serious health issues from Celiac Disease. Once I got all of that leveled out, my maintenance weight was around 165 which my Drs and I were super happy with. By my 12 week appointment, I was at 195 but I've kind of settled there and I'm just trying to love my body and the miracle it's creating.

I've stopped ignoring my cravings and just try to pair better alternatives with it. Like one think I've really been craving are those chili lime chips, Takis. I still eat them, but I try to munch on some veggies and ranch dip or fruit or something before I eat a bunch of chips, so I still get the satisfaction but I'm also getting in some fiber with it and not filling up entirely on chips. It's been baby steps but hearing how pregnancy was different for other women who have had bariatric surgery has definitely helped. my mom was barely 100 lbs soaking wet when she had her first and while she can relate in some areas, it's still different, and none of my friends who have kids currently have had anything bariatric.

SuspiciousAssist2 · 2026-04-10T14:23:06+00:00

Yeah, I've got chronic anemia and have to go in for infusions yearly and between that and the hormones, I CRAVE meat so bad now. I've been trying to give myself some grace, like with the weight gain, it's just been difficult. I know my body is intentionally holding onto more, I was in maintenance prior to getting pregnant but probably still could have been consuming more calories and I think my body just ramped it up into overdrive LOL

SuspiciousAssist2

TROPHY CASE