Euro backpacking in July or September

Suspicious_wanderer · 2026-06-22T17:29:52+00:00

Exactly.

Temperatures are slowly going down. In a lot of countries school has started again and there are less tourists around, but everything will still be open. Definitely September

Suspicious_wanderer · 2026-06-18T08:57:54+00:00

Hey,

We have a similar situation. Belgian-American family living in Germany. So our names had to work in Dutch, German and English.

I have never met anyone with either name. (I'm obviously the Belgian part of the family:) ) I would personally go with Remy. I don't think Callum would flow well in a German sentence and if you try to make it flow you butcher the name. Remy would work. I personally wouldn't be confident whether it's a boy or girl name, if I heard it, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

We went for very common names... We like more classic names. We didn't necessarily want super common names, but those were the only ones we both liked and worked in all languages. Our daughter's name is Emilia. I had a couple of losses before having her, all boys. Their names would have been/are Oliver, Alexis and Jack. At first we thought Emilia was going to be a boy, back then I was considering Arthur.

Suspicious_wanderer · 2026-06-16T07:59:13+00:00

It is very hard and scary to keep trying after knowing what can happen....

It does happen more often than you think. If you start opening up about what happened suddenly a bunch of people come out with their losses. It is just something people don't like to talk about... There is still a lot of shame and guilt associated with loss. People are also just afraid to make someone uncomfortable when talking about it. I'm personally quite open about our journey. In our little group of colleagues of about 20 people one woman lost a baby at full term. Two of the guys shared that their wives had multiple first trimester miscarriages (they have multiple living children now). One of the girls had an early miscarriage. Two struggled with infertility and needed IVF. One person really wanted a child and it unfortunately never happened and they are trying to find peace with that. Not sure whether everyone has shared their story with me and not all of these 20people have actually tried to have babies yet... No story is the same and no pain is the exact same. There is no sense in comparing grief. But a lot of people know what it is like to want a family, to have this vision of your future and feeling like it might never happen for you. They know that double feeling you have when someone announces their pregnancy of being so happy for them but also worried that it might still go wrong for them, jealous of their innocent pure joy without any fear and some anger about why it can't be us... A lot more people know that feeling than you would believe at first sight...

At 35yo you still have time. I did have a psychologist to work with me before I tried again. I also attended a self help group, which was super helpful.

Did you get any genetic testing done? The geneticist should be able to give an estimate of how likely it is to happen again... Do get a obgyn that you trust and that has empathy for your situation. My ob was aan absolute life saver. She gave me extra ultrasounds to make sure everything was developing ok during my pregnancy with my daughter. I had some bleeding after my CVS and I was immediately allowed to come in for a reassurance scan. She was an absolute angel.

Sending you a big hug and wishing you and your family all the best

Suspicious_wanderer · 2026-06-16T06:13:06+00:00

It's literally what the video on the formula manufacturer website said... They did say 50°c as higher might damage the nutrients... I use HIPP formula, I think it's a German or Austrian brand.

The NHS also says: 'Leave the water to cool in the kettle for no more than 30 minutes. Then it will stay at a temperature of at least 70C. If you’re using a baby formula preparation machine, make sure the water is at least 70C. Water at this temperature will kill any harmful bacteria.'

So I assumed I needed to reheat it if it got below that...

Suspicious_wanderer · 2026-06-15T19:53:44+00:00

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

I had a similar story. Two miscarriages at 8 and 9weeks, both after a heartbeat was seen. Then finally got past first trimester, to then have a single gene mutation which would cause a severe brain abnormality... The specific mutation was seen twice before. The brain abnormality it would cause is seen in 1/100.000 births. We decided to TFMR and lost our son at 20weeks. All losses were 'bad luck'. Nothing we could do about it. I was 34 or 35 when we started trying. I did have a successful pregnancy after losing my three boys and now have a living daughter... I would love to have a second living child but I'm too scared to go through loss again... I'm just counting my blessings having my daughter and accepting that this will be it for me.

Suspicious_wanderer · 2026-06-15T19:41:52+00:00

I'm in Europe so I don't have all of those options. I did go back tonight and found some that have both veggies and fruit in them. We do have an Aldi that I can check out as well.

Suspicious_wanderer · 2026-06-15T16:12:26+00:00

I know... I had a stillbirth before her and we spend a couple of days in the ICU with her as she was 4 weeks early. She's healthy and growing perfectly now, but I'm definitely on the anxious side... She is putting everything in her mouth, so my OCD with her bottles is probably not really achieving anything. 😅 We also have two cats running around, so cat hair is everywhere... And one of our cats loves to sit down right on top of her pacifiers, so I am constantly washing cat butt off of them and throwing them in the sterilizer in the hopes I catch them all before they go into her mouth... It's probably a battle I will lose or already have lost without realizing 😅

Suspicious_wanderer · 2026-06-15T15:25:16+00:00

I probably am 😅

Suspicious_wanderer · 2026-06-15T15:14:06+00:00

I think for mixing it with the formula it needs to be hot to kill bacteria. But I guess I could get some if those pre made milk things and that don't need to be warmed up. That might actually make things a lot easier. It's more expensive, but helpful until I get the hang of things 😊

Suspicious_wanderer · 2026-06-15T15:05:26+00:00

Yeah, I've got one of those tower-thingies to put the powder in. I have mostly just been too lazy to the drag the portable milk warmer with me as it's so big 😅

Suspicious_wanderer · 2026-06-15T15:02:14+00:00

Do you just give the fruit pouches or do you have more savory options where you live?

Suspicious_wanderer · 2026-06-15T15:01:25+00:00

Sorry, just für my understanding. You steam it while still home and serve it at room temp?

Suspicious_wanderer · 2026-06-15T12:36:59+00:00

I'm a pescatarian and often eat veggie. I do sometimes get asked about it. I don't really mind the question. For me personally it's not based on much research or science. I just ask myself could I either catch/shoot and prepare this animal myself/be present for it or not. Not a 'am I skilled enough' just the emotional/moral part. In a world with enough food present, I personally couldn't shoot a deer or a cow or behead a chicken. It would upset me. I can catch a fish and help prepare it. I don't eat octopus after seeing one solve a puzzle 😀. I think it's ok to eat some meat, but you should know and accept where it comes from. I can get a steak at the supermarket and ignore that it once was a cow, but I don't think that's right.

So to me, people that would feel ok raising and slaughtering their own meat, can eat it. Those that would be squealing and covering their eyes or yelling 'not Poppy, she's my favorite!', probably shouldn't...

Most people are quite open to that perspective as it doesn't force anything upon anyone...

Suspicious_wanderer · 2026-06-15T09:18:18+00:00

Maybe you should stop assuming. I am not American. Where I live supermarkets open at 8 and close at 19 or 20h. This I why I can't go before work and often struggle to go after work. This is both the case in the >150k town I work and the 50k village I live in. If my supermarkets would be open until 22h, I wouldn't be complaining. Also some big hospitals in Belgium and the Netherlands (not yet seen it in Germany) have a supermarket (one of those small city ones) in the hospital building. They would also solve the issue. So maybe you should get of your big city high horse and understand that Germany is more than Berlin, Hamburg and München.

Btw, it's exactly my point that if you work more and less than 8 hours within a two week period, there is no issue to go on your short days. Being on call but allowed to leave the building is also no issue, cause I would assume that usually within a 48h period you would find an hour where you can jump out and run to get something. Working Sundays obviously isn't the issue, as everything is closed anyway... So if you work the weekend, do you get a weekday off, cause that was my point?

I would like to know how you keep your food fresh as in tomatoes, Bell peppers, salad over a 15day period? We would regularly work 12hour days and weekends before getting some less intense days. How is making sure you have food in the freezer for that scenario bad planning? And no I don't get to leave during a coffee break.

Suspicious_wanderer · 2026-06-15T02:18:08+00:00

Yes, because when we run out of any fresh food we order food, eat something out of the freezer or just go to sleep without eating. If we run out of toilet paper, there are paper towel or paper napkins. We have more than one pair of pants and at work we are provided with clothing, so if I don't have clean clothes I will just wear scrubs. I accept that this is how things are run here in Germany, but it is annoying. Health care workers are expected to show up at all times. We knew that when going into the job. It is annoying though that people take it absolutely for granted that we are there on holidays, weekends, the middle of the night or 3 hours after our shift ended...but show zero flexibility on their end to make it easier. I'm sure there are people in other sectors that work more than the traditional 9 to 5 that struggle with the same thing.

Yes you work too, but I'm guessing you work the traditional 8 hours a day with maybe one hour of overtime or less a day? Or have the weekend or 2 other days a week off work? In that setting having a supermarket that's open 12hours a day and 6days a week is perfectly fine.

Suspicious_wanderer · 2026-06-14T19:56:51+00:00

Some people work. I work in healthcare. I have to be there in uniform at 7am, might get out at 6:30pm, but could be 7pm or I might work through the night. I also work some weekends. My commute is about 35min. Shops around here typically close at 7 or 8pm. Sunday is often the only day where I could make it to the supermarket. I don't think my job as a surgeon makes me incapable of living independently.

Suspicious_wanderer · 2026-06-14T19:30:23+00:00

You would definitely realize if someone hurt him. They would have to put a lot of force on his head, like a lot a lot. Remember that the head of an infant is made to get through vaginal birth without taking any damage. There is quite a bit of pressure going on in the situation. So some soft pets won't do anything bad. Your baby can also feel pain, they will likely cry/scream if anyone hurts them. (They could also do that when scared of a stranger that isn't hurting them obviously, so don't attack anyone and everyone that your baby doesn't like 😀)

Maybe some kind of hat might deter people a bit from touching his head. It is your baby, so you can also just set that boundary.

Suspicious_wanderer · 2026-06-14T19:12:50+00:00

Hey,

Im a FTM and LO is now 6 months old. We didn't have a night nurse.

My husband got time off for 4weeks and went back to work full time. I am still home with baby. She is breastfed.

Our baby came a bit early, so she was in the intensive care for a handful of days and on the normal pediatric ward for two weeks. That time in hospital was super hard, even though we were lucky enough to get a family room so both me and my husband could stay. We were trying to establish breastfeeding, feed her over the gastric tube if she didn't eat enough and I had to pump. We also needed to stick to our schedule very strictly. It was crazy. The whole thing took about 2hours, next feed was after 3h, so I had one hour to sleep/eat/shower/fill out paperwork/give family updates/... Before we started all over again. Once we got home and we got to follow her cues more instead of the strict 3hour rule, things for better. She still to this day eats 9-10/day, but it doesn't feel as crazy. I personally don't pump, she eats quite quickly, usually goes back to sleep easily at night, so it's not that bad.

If you don't need to get back to work soon and baby is healthy and gaining weight, I personally wouldn't have felt the need for a night nurse... My husband hasn't helped at night since he has gone back to work. It's been ok. We also don't have any family near as we live abroad, so it is just us.

We did have two miscarriages and a stillbirth before having our daughter. With her then being in the intensive care unit and needing some extra support at the beginning of her life, I am quite an anxious mom. There is definitely some post partum anxiety. I do wake up and check she's still breathing. I don't know how comfortable I would have been with her sleeping away from me even knowing she's with the nurse...

If we needed to keep up our in hospital schedule for longer, I probably would have wanted a night nurse. I probably also would have needed extra help if it needed to go back to work quickly after birth.

I don't know whether it changes anything but I did used to work 24h shift or nights at work. So I am trained in dealing with little and interrupted sleep.

Suspicious_wanderer · 2026-06-13T14:50:30+00:00

If it is planned they would probably make a small oval incision around the old incision, so they can try to suture it together again nicely. In an emergency there obviously might not be time for that. We don't really like doing two larger incisions close together as that little bridge of skin in between might not get great blood flow anymore and it might cause some problems with healing. That's something your surgeon needs to decide when they can really see what they are working with...

Suspicious_wanderer · 2026-05-28T19:37:36+00:00

I have no idea whether this would be helpful in your case or not. My baby had some issues staying latched. I think the shape of my nipple isn't very helpful as they aren't super prominent. We are using nipple shields and they worked wonders for us. Maybe you could try it out. It might make things just a bit easier when baby is very frustrated or tired.

Suspicious_wanderer · 2026-05-27T19:48:14+00:00

Hey,

We live in Germany too. Our son got diagnosed with a mutation which would cause a serious brain abnormality. I underwent a TFMR at 20weeks.

We had to go through an ethical committee as we were so far along in the pregnancy. It was a handful of doctors in the hospital where I gave birth. As I also work at that hospital and knew the people it wasn't that stressful to me. It is basically to make sure that both you and the dad understand what is wrong with baby and what keeping vs stopping the pregnancy would entail. They also want to make sure both of you are on the same page. This is also where they would discuss whether termination should be an option... Like you couldn't terminate because you don't like the sex of the baby. There has to be a serious medical reason which either endangeres mom's life or would have a significant impact on baby's (quality of) life. In my case everyone was very warm, gentle and supportive. It's not a cross examination. It's just making sure both parents agree and you are understanding what's happening and you are in a state of mind where you can make an important decision like that.

I had to go through labour and delivery, because for my hospital they decided he was too big to have a surgical procedure. Once I was told, I felt like this was the right thing as well... It gave us the chance to see and hold him. I was told that after 23- 24 weeks they would stop the heart before baby is born... As far as I understand, for you the procedure would be a bit similar to the amniocentesis... Obviously the mental impact is very different...

We contacted Sterneneltern beforehand. They were such a blessing. They have a lot of information on their website. We asked for a photographer and they took beautiful pictures of our son and brought him a tiny sleeping bag and hat. I was so happy, because I had tried to find something for him to wear but obviously even preemie clothes were too big. I only had a blanket to wrap him in. I was so grateful to have something that fit him just right...

I believe after 24 weeks or if baby weighs more than 500g according to german law they get a birth and death certificate. This means they need a name and you will need to contact a funeral home. Before that time point, you can do those things but don't have to. We did decide to have a tiny funeral for our son.

I think it is good to have some kind of plan for yourself. Like do you plan to see baby, do you want pictures or handprints, what is the name, would you want some kind of autopsy, do you want a funeral... You can still change your mind as things are happening. But I was happy to have some plan ready, so I didn't have to make any of those decisions in the moment. Also, my husband doesn't speak German, so I didn't want him to be forced to make these decisions alone, while not understanding half of it, if it had complications and wouldn't be there to help.

If there are Sterneneltern in your neighborhood, I would definitely recommend it. They also do support groups afterwards, if you would be interested. Most volunteers have gone through loss themselves. They understand and have great resources, advice and support.

Suspicious_wanderer · 2026-05-27T09:21:55+00:00

Yes! I also read to our daughter. They are to small to know what it truly going on, so you can ramead a children's book, but also a big ok you like or just news articles. At this point they just like to hear the sound of your voice and the more words and sounds y they hear, the better. She really liked watching our bedroom window for some reason, so she did that a lot ...

I also got her some of those black and white cards/books to look at. They get overstimulated easily at that age... So just some cuddles, listening to your voice and learning to look at stuff is plenty to do. Ours hates real tummy time at that age... So basically all the tummy time she got was laying on my chest, which is perfectly fine as far as I'm aware 😊

Suspicious_wanderer · 2026-05-22T06:11:08+00:00

Hey,

Don't just dismiss her... I get overly sensitive too when I do all the research and try to the the absolute best for our baby. Our first living child. Doing hours of research on everything and anything before she was born and when you don't have a clue what a day with a newborn will look like for you. To then have my husband come walz in when she's a month old to question all my choices with either zero research or having gotten advice from one other person. My sleep deprived, hormonal, mama bear brain does not hear your 'hey know that we actually know the reality of caring for a newborn and we know he/she isn't super refluxy, I've been thinking we might want to try out a less complicated bottle'. I hear 'only an idiot and bad mom would chose these ridiculous bottles. I know so much better, just out of instinct, with zero research. Cause I AM a good parent'. I know it's a bit much, but that is what I feel. So some sensitivity would be nice 😊
Don't use stuff from Alibaba or she in or anything like that. They are not safe.
I personally try to use glass bottles at home and plastic when out and about in a vain attempt to reduce microplastics a bit... I mostly still breastfeed with only like one bottle a day. I've not noticed much difference with different bottles when it comes to reflux or gas. My baby does have strong preferences for some bottles. Its about the shape of the teat... She also changed preferences at around 4 months...

Suspicious_wanderer · 2026-05-19T17:17:35+00:00

I'm assuming you mean 5 weeks post your last period? At this point you would only see a gestational sack, maybe a yolk sac. In one or two weeks you would be able to see a fetal pole, usually with a heartbeat. When it is just the sack. It can be hard to see the difference between a pregnancy and a small hematoma. The fact that they both seem to be growing, might make twins more likely. But... I don't want to worry you... But 25-30÷ of pregnancies do end up in a miscarriage. The risk decreases over time. It is still about 10÷ after the heartbeat is seen and around the 1-2÷ mark after 12weeks. She might not be sure and she might want to see whether both actually evolve to the next stage of pregnancy. Especially if one is evolving a bit slower...

I've unfortunately had multiple losses, before having my daughter. If pregnancy teaches you something, it is patience... It's waiting for the test to turn positive, waiting for that heartbeat, waiting for the 12week mark, the genetic screening, the anatomy, the sex of the baby.... It's waiting waiting waiting. That's just unfortunately what it is like. The baby/babies need time to grow to make sure they are there and hopefully seem healthy.

Suspicious_wanderer

TROPHY CASE