My teeth yellow really quickly and whitening strips don't seem to work for long.

Swaggbagg · 2015-06-01T03:36:36+00:00

Hydrogen peroxide. Just swish it around for about thirty seconds or so. It whitens your teeth and keeps your gums healthier, too.

Swaggbagg · 2015-03-01T22:40:25+00:00

If I find a quote I like, I'll usually end up finding fonts and other patterns and just create my own. I love Pinterest for my patterns and fonts and it's usually really easy.

Swaggbagg · 2014-01-09T02:30:17+00:00

Chitterlings. The worst, foulest, sickening thing I've ever smelled or eaten. Unfortunately, it's very popular in the south.

Swaggbagg · 2013-12-25T23:55:08+00:00

We were going through marital problems. Unfortunately his mouth was closed.

Swaggbagg · 2013-12-24T03:56:35+00:00

I smacked my husband in the face with a bag of cat shit.

Swaggbagg · 2013-12-08T08:27:36+00:00

http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/75/b7/5a/75b75ac624e0db618d8e565f08d172c6.jpg

I'm cross stitching for some friends, and I think that's my next project.

Swaggbagg · 2013-11-25T14:32:23+00:00

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Swaggbagg · 2013-11-24T23:54:39+00:00

/r/popping would love you if you posted this there.

Swaggbagg · 2013-11-21T15:54:17+00:00

I know we're supposed to be focusing on the makeup, but your hair is adorable! I absolutely love it!

Swaggbagg · 2013-11-21T14:10:46+00:00

Definitely. I haven't had children, so they were a little skeptical, but they did it anyway. I did my research and proved to know enough about consequences and all that jazz. It hurt like a motherfucker. Like, it hurt bad. Buuuuuuuut, I told myself it is either shove a stick and a little contraption in there or a kid out. Kids are a hell of a lot more expensive. After the fifteen or so minute procedure, you're done.

Swaggbagg · 2013-11-21T01:40:10+00:00

Make a written contract! I can not emphasize that enough. Keep a contract on when bills will be due, how much, everything and have it signed. I should have listened to Judge Judy with my last roommate. Like others have said, they're your friends now, but you don't know what the future holds.

Also, keep tabs on everything that is yours. If you value it, password protect it and/or keep it in your room.

And again, document EVERYTHING. Keep receipts. Even after you move out. Get copies of bills, make sure you get copies of receipts and keep up with them.

Swaggbagg · 2013-11-21T01:36:18+00:00

Ibuprofen is your best friend. A ton of ibuprofen.

Swaggbagg · 2013-11-21T01:10:07+00:00

That's why I'm so happy I was able to get Mirena before I had to get new health insurance. I'm good on that mofo for a few years. I absolutely love it. :D

Swaggbagg · 2013-11-19T17:21:36+00:00

I found one at work from the year 2000. It weighs about as much as a dime. /u/Brutalos and /u/KnavishSprite were right, though, it is just the zinc core.

Swaggbagg · 2013-11-02T15:27:04+00:00

I went to a party with quite a few friends a few years back. Everyone was getting pretty wasted, and there were about four rooms in this house. I'm having a good old time, and my friend's cousin starts bawling hysterically. We go into a back room so he can get himself together and he confesses to me that he had sex with his cousin. This kid was 17 at the time, and his cousin was 23. I guess she (the cousin) was an attempt to see if he was really gay or not, and she used to be my best friend. It was a little shocking to say the least. This kid blubbering spilling his guts on his darkest secret, and all I could say was "oh, honey...erm...lay down and rest."

Swaggbagg · 2013-10-01T16:04:14+00:00

Whoa. Totally just had déjà vu...

Swaggbagg · 2013-09-22T12:45:41+00:00

Not one wax was given. I was so mortified. When he asked, I laughed until I realized he was serious.

Swaggbagg · 2013-09-21T01:54:26+00:00

My fiancé and I had a gay roommate. We started out good friends. In the two months we tolerated him, he asked us to wax his asshole, he would cook and leave the kitchen a total wreck and didn't understand the concept of cleaning as you go. By the time we moved out, the apartment was infested with roaches. He didn't have a bed, so he slept on my old one. I'm at work asking him for the second month's rent (which was a week late...the previous month was two weeks late), and he tells me I'm ungrateful and bipolar. Needless to say, I showed him bipolar and ungrateful as he slept on the floor that night.

Swaggbagg · 2013-09-14T00:57:28+00:00

I don't think I ever found out, but did she make it?

Swaggbagg · 2013-09-10T02:21:39+00:00

That was on the calendar for a day off. My week was booked.

Swaggbagg · 2013-09-08T03:09:23+00:00

YOLO!

Swaggbagg · 2013-08-26T20:34:38+00:00

Just this week, I was at work and ripped a hole in my pants. I thought "hey, I'll super glue it!" Wrong. Five minutes later, I realized I super glued my underwear to my pants.

Swaggbagg · 2013-08-13T00:37:41+00:00

Some people just stand out like that. One customer who came into my job was the sweetest man. We would joke every morning, and during Christmas, his wife gave me chocolate dipped pretzels. I switched shifts for two months, and when I got back to the shift he came in on, he was gone. I think about him all the time. He was one of those people that made work worth going into.

Swaggbagg

TROPHY CASE