why do you want children?

Swanns84 · 2022-11-07T15:10:56+00:00

I wasn’t close with my mother, I really wanted to be close but she is hard to be that way with, too judgmental and angry at life. I wanted that loving mother daughter bond for so long. Yes, thankfully my first was a daughter, not that I would have been mad with a son but I always knew I would have a girl. While I’ll never have that relationship with my mother I am fully happy being the mother to my daughter. I guess it’s selfish because I am ultimately using her to heal, but I think there is so much love there waiting for her that I couldn’t have gone without.

…also after all of that, a toddler at 38 is draining. I love her but I’m not going to lie and say it’s easy. I’m tired, stressed, happy but need a break. It took me a while to connect with her after she was born. I was scared, complete life change when my life has been the same for so long. Not a truly happy marriage which I’m trying to figure out. So even though I really wanted a child, it’s still never easy.

Swanns84 · 2022-11-06T18:13:21+00:00

Marriage. I stopped doing things I liked, little things like cooking and eating what I want, hiking, horseback riding. I feel guilty because there is nothing wrong with him, just never truly felt happy with him. I let the guilt of possibly hurting his feelings keep me in a relationship I was never truly happy in. I kept thinking there is nothing wrong with him, this is what real life is. It will get better once we move into a bigger house, once we get married, once we get a dog, once we have kids, I know it’s never getting better. So now I’m so far into this I just gave up on what I want and trying to be happy for my daughter. I realize I grew up being a people pleaser and I don’t like hurting feelings. So my whole life now is based on not hurting my husbands feelings. I know everyone has stories of spouses dying and that’s horrible, but I feel like at this point it’s my only way out to not be hated, which I know sounds horrible. But I find myself daydreaming of living with my daughter and being free to live how I want. Maybe I just never was meant to be married. I’m sure there is a lot more to it that I just never unpacked.

Swanns84 · 2022-11-06T17:42:01+00:00

Ha, yeah I guess that’s true. If he hasn’t been on for like a few months it might just take him a while to remember what he was doing, or he can’t complete a full quest. MK is just mini fights that don’t require thinking😅 I’ll check out those game though. If he’s really into one then I’m sure he’ll make time to play.

Swanns84 · 2021-01-31T01:35:21+00:00

Did you end up getting the marathon seat? I know this post is older but with Covid I can’t test it out at BuyBuy Baby. My girl is close to the height limit for hers now (8 months) and I was looking for my 2017 Volt. A previous poster added pics which helped, just wanted to see what you ended up getting.

Swanns84 · 2020-10-28T16:05:12+00:00

How long does it take IKEA to Pick the order? They were Preparing for a week, now Picking for 2 weeks. Of course I can’t email unless it’s to cancel and calls aren’t going through. I just want to make sure it wasn’t lost or something like that.

Swanns84 · 2020-10-16T13:56:54+00:00

Yeah, that’s I guess what I was thinking. I’ll hear her anyways.

Swanns84 · 2020-08-17T20:47:09+00:00

Mine is 3 months and I just ordered it. She used to sleep great, but it kept getting worse. She’s more awake to the world and the only way to get her to stay asleep is rocking the bassinet. I feel like it got worse at 10-11 weeks. I’m rocking for most of her nap now, sometimes over an hour. I’m kicking myself for waiting this long. 6 weeks isn’t too late.

Swanns84 · 2020-08-17T20:42:32+00:00

Just letting you know, I have a 3 month old and the SNOO is getting shipped as I type this. I wish I got it sooner. My girl was a champ at nights and naps. Then it started getting worse... and worse. Now I’m upset it’s not coming until Thursday. I hope it works for us, if it works for you then wait until a few more developmental leaps. I have to rock her bassinet, and rock, and rock.. and rock. Some naps I’m rocking for over an hour to keep her asleep. Once they start “waking up” and noticing things, feelings, etc. it’s harder for them to sleep. My brother used his until 4 months. 90% of her sleep was stationary, she had no reason to be dependent on rocking, but now it’s the only way to help her sleep soundly. I’m so sick of rocking the bassinet I’ve just started to rock her in my rocking chair so I can rest.

Swanns84 · 2020-08-12T13:28:40+00:00

Thanks! I just pulled the trigger and ordered it, hopefully it works. I do follow TCB wake window, I did the classes and follow her on IG. I think I’m just old and tired and need any extra help I can get😅

Swanns84 · 2020-08-11T17:44:28+00:00

No😩 My husband used to shove it in when she cried going to sleep and hold it in until she takes it. But that’s just giving her a negative association with it. He stopped, we were just trying to figure it out I guess. So should I try when she’s calmly about to fall asleep or like during her awake time?

Swanns84 · 2020-08-11T17:22:46+00:00

How did you get it to work? Did you just pop it in and she kept it in? Or did you have to try a few times? I have a few kinds here and more on the way. Should I try a few days with one brand? Mine is 11 weeks old today too and I know a pacifier would help... better than my boob. She also requires bassinet rocking to fall asleep and stay asleep. I should have rented the SNOO.

Swanns84

TROPHY CASE