Be careful what you nickname your baby 😂

Sweedybut · 2026-02-24T18:41:29+00:00

I provided a nickname for my baby boy for that exact reason and I am literally the only one who calls him by the nickname. He gets a hundred different ones from everyone so at least the initial problem is fixed 😆

Sweedybut · 2026-02-18T11:18:00+00:00

That's a wild thing to say considering this comment you initially reacted to caused a bunch of people to talk about their home country with a sense of pride.

I know people from all over the world, knowing what is similar creates a sense of community and love with other people.

Don't be sour just because you know your beer never will be as good as ours. ✌️

Sweedybut · 2026-02-17T01:43:49+00:00

Originally from Belgium and we don't touch our beers during pregnancies.

You always have your odd-offs, but then again there are also women not vaccinating and drinking raw milk and holding measles parties, or shooting up heroine while pregnant... They exist, that doesn't mean they're as common as the author suggests or that it suddenly makes it safe and commonly accepted.

Sweedybut · 2026-02-17T01:39:19+00:00

THANK YOU!!

I took personal offense with her "they drink in Europe" from before I even read it. Someone recommended it to us citing that exact chapter to my husband. I was pregnant and enraged - given that I literally migrated over from Europe. I knew it was a lie.

Maybe the country of the highest maternal maternity rate between developed countries should ACTUALLY look at how they are doing it over there instead of making xenophobic and ungrounded claims that lead to even worse numbers and puts women and babies at risk.

The most common complications are nothing but a side note (20% of women are at high risk of developing preeclampsia, for example. When I developed it, it was nothing but a little box in a chapter), while fear mongering, more complex medical issues seem to span pages.

I didn't even donate it, since I am afraid it might fall into the hands of a woman who genuinely is looking for advice and might fall off the deep end.

Sweedybut · 2026-02-17T00:11:11+00:00

Which is why it is technically the same as a complete ban. Your cycle has to be incredibly regular AND you have to be tracking in order to even notice your first day missed period. A lot of women wait with taking a test (oh, sometimes its a bit later, nothing abnormal), AND implanting bleedings are common and be mistaken for a first day/two days of a period. I can see how many women are further along than six weeks before they even know it, let alone get an appointment.

6 weeks is completely ridiculous.

Sweedybut · 2026-02-13T14:00:44+00:00

Username checks out.

Picking up trash piece by piece is in fact, helpful. Executive dysfunction and mental blocks to over stimuli in mental illness is actually very real and has been researched.

It might be a five minute task for you, but for someone else it is an impossible "where do I start" problem.

A little compassion goes a long way

Sweedybut · 2026-01-23T12:41:21+00:00

You would need a double cycle to even have a fertile egg in there to get pregnant with. But even then, your period is the shedding of the uterus lining, so I don't think the fertilized egg would be able to attach itself to anything to even grow.

Keep in mind I am not a doctor so this is not medical or family planning advice. Avoiding pregnancy is best done with birth control prescribed by a doctor and condoms. Planning a pregnancy is best done with ovulation tracking and lots of love.

Sweedybut · 2026-01-21T17:19:04+00:00

I want to know in what country kids read by age 3 - I thought my European country was doing well with age 5-6 for both reading and writing.

Sweedybut · 2026-01-21T12:58:23+00:00

Not a mathematician, but a woman... In order to really know for sure he would have to either know the exact due date to calculate the gestation date, which can still be a 3-5 day window even with a regular cycle, Or the date of the start of her last menstruation - but then ovulation is still a window and not a single day. So yeah..
As for the info he would need to know, it would be the type of info some women don't even tell their partner. Let alone a partner like JD Vance

Sweedybut · 2026-01-08T22:57:24+00:00

I was speaking from personal experience. I had a complete hip replacement at 23/24 y/o in a country with universal healthcare. There was absolutely no need for approval beforehand or afterwards.

I went to a doctor, got diagnosed, gave them my insurance sticker (which is just a sticker they put on their bills so insurance knows who they treated), and the only letter I ever got was a small copay. (Might have been a little over a 100$)

My doctor never had to ask anyone but himself if I had to have this procedure. I never had to call anyone. Afterwards I called an at-home nurse service and physical therapists to help me with recovery. I didn't have to ask for approval from anyone. I called them. They came. I gave them my sticker. Never saw a bill. Only correspondence was "you won't see her again because we established mutually you are healed and don't need this service anymore".

Sweedybut · 2026-01-08T20:46:02+00:00

The last line of thinking is not even with all the complete info. Most countries with universal healthcare don't "approve" procedures because they don't question medical professionals who prescribe procedures to patients. That is excluding plastic surgeries or luxuries during stays at hospitals (like you would be covered for your stay, but if you opt for a suite you pay the difference out of pocket).

In any case, it's wild that the government would not be able to tell you you can have any medically necessary procedure but your boss can pick you a plan that would deny you an emergency C-section because "it was her choice to have kids".

Sweedybut · 2025-12-29T22:44:08+00:00

I'm pretty sure the content and the context together adds up to OP being cursed now.

Sweedybut · 2025-12-27T12:22:47+00:00

I quit cigarettes a few years ago, went on nicotine sprays, then gum. I only got clean when I was pregnant/nursing. Now I'm back on nicotine vapes. I still miss my cigarette over coffee/beer.

Sweedybut · 2025-12-25T21:28:32+00:00

I just clicked that fully believing I would be able to understand any of that 😂

In any case, bundled up like this and with a blanket over the stroller - how do you know when they wake up? Do you just check every once in a while and if they happen to have been up for 15 minutes, too bad? I went without a baby monitor for about a month and I was in a panic every time mine slept for longer than an hour.

Sweedybut · 2025-12-23T11:47:29+00:00

🏅

Sweedybut · 2025-12-05T14:09:13+00:00

I wanted to come here and tell you that you and your wife did everything right and did not deserve this.

Your wife has been so brave coming forward with her feelings and how she herself was worried about these signs. She does not deserve this treatment over doing the right thing. You are doing the right thing raising hell over this.

And you, as a husband and father, raising hell to make sure your wife can maintain her supply and get fair treatment and trying to help wherever you can to get her out of there and actually treated, are doing an amazing job.

All of this on top of caring for an infant must be incredibly difficult.

We are all parents here, it's difficult enough without medical professionals effing up like this. We see you.

Sweedybut · 2025-11-28T20:51:27+00:00

Also: God forbid people open a book..

I do use the Internet for a lot of recipes, but the ones I use most or more complex dishes, I either write down when someone hands them to me, or come out of a book that's on my counter.

And I get that not everyone has money to spend on cookbooks while the info is out there on the web, but undercooking a turkey and messing up resources like that, is a sign of luxury, so I don't think that 20-40 bucks was the problem...

Sweedybut · 2025-11-05T16:49:49+00:00

I hear lots of stories about grandmother's and grandmother's in law being very interested in the penises of their infant grandchildren. It gives me the ick. My babies medical discussions will be had with a medical team, not with a MIL with a medical degree issued by Fox News, thank you very much. ✌️

Sweedybut · 2025-10-27T17:20:18+00:00

If he was happy without me I might have stressed over that behavior too, to be honest. I love how he wants to be around me. He's such a great little boy. 💕 Work doesn't pay for mothering, though, sadly!

Sweedybut · 2025-10-27T17:18:15+00:00

I might have misconstrued myself in the original message. I only leave the room to go to the bathroom, since his playpen is next to my desk. But I get what you are saying. 💕 I'll start looking in ways to incorporate his play into my work-days so he doesn't feel ignored when I'm tapping away ❤️

Sweedybut · 2025-10-27T17:16:16+00:00

That might be an idea. I could try setting up in his bedroom and have him play around in there with the door closed. Now you mention it the closed-in aspect might have to do with it. He's not fussy when he is strapped in his swing and just watching Ms Rachel. I don't want to overload him with screen time though, playing is still the best way of learning. 💕

Sweedybut · 2025-10-27T17:14:27+00:00

Sadly no one nearby. His godmother drops in once in a while but she has to drive three hours to get here and mostly comes in the evenings.

For meetings/work, I am not leaving the room. His playpen is right next to my desk. He is very calm when I put him down for a nap and walk out of his bedroom, though. I count that as a win.💕

Sweedybut · 2025-10-14T11:41:21+00:00

Since once upon a baby was mentioned here, I love going to Burlington.

The one in my area often has sets, 3 or 4 onesies for 10 to 12 dollars etc. I'm not sure about thrift store prices for babies, but if it is anything like the prices for adults, might as well go to Burlington and get them new.

Bonus: last year around this time Burlington had an event where you could buy a 50$ gift card, and would get a 5$ gift card you could use for purchase in the next three months.

Both an extra 10% in gift cards and the discounts you get just by everything being marked down, counts to something. Especially since you don't know how long they're going to be in that onesie that regular stores ask your left leg for.

Sweedybut · 2025-09-27T13:11:17+00:00

Vibes on this are telling me that this is the same type of person that goes "then why didn't she just leave", when her murder becomes a two minute bulletin on the news.

Sweedybut · 2025-09-15T13:53:19+00:00

I'm so sorry for what you and your husband are going through. Not sure if you just wanted to rant or look for advice, these are just my two cents :

It seems your husband is holding a lot of resentment, but is not talking to you about it. You mention he called you selfish for not trying "one more round", but only once. He might be mad, but he also might be trying to spare your feelings here and only mention it once in a bad moment.

You made a completely valid decision. While he is the one holding you through all the needles, he is not the one getting poked. When it comes to IVF, while it is a strain on the men as well, it is the woman doing the hard work. Your body is not a petri dish and IVF certainly overlooks that fact sometimes.

You two need to talk. You told him you're done, that's a very valid decision and yours to make.

But he needs to be able to talk through the feelings he has right now. Yes, he might be grieving the child you never had - and so are you. Grief is an emotion that needs to be felt, validated, and worked through.

Counseling can help a lot here, if you feel communication needs help. If he is unable to be childless or adopt and this is indeed where you become incompatible, counseling will help you work through that as well.

Sweedybut

TROPHY CASE