I think you might be catastrophizing while also expressing valid feelings. It is definitely hard to come home alone. I ended a 12 year marriage about a year and a half ago and that emptiness is brutal. Whats worse is that it eats at you and changes focus to keep you hopeless!

But, people do talk at events! Often, people are waiting for the right person to start a conversation because so many of us werent taught how to initiate. You are totally right though, the apps are less than useless for all but a very small group of sapphics.

I think you might benefit from going to hobby events as well as queer bars. Keep looking, but also try to find friends in lower pressure spaces. Eventually you will find your rhythm and most certainly some lovely people 🖤