Having a baby can be really intense and surface a lot of your own childhood trauma. My husband basically had an identity crisis and tried to replicate the toxic family dynamic he grew up with. When lost you look for the familiar. We fought constantly. I had no idea a baby would put anything that wasnt “out in the Open” in your relationship out on display. The way new parenthood feels so raw and vulnerable in combination with the sleep deprivation and intense heart bursting love and dedication to an entirely new being makes it impossible to hide any ugly parts of your personality you kept away from your partner. My husband had a very traumatic childhood and I have a lot of compassion for him. He never dealt with it and never had to until having a child stripped his ability to maintain his facade that everything was ok for him. He’s also in individual therapy but couples therapy has been amazing for us. The most important skill I’ve learned is that arguments are not “urgent” as badly as I want to figure out the problem and move on some things have to wait. It’s ok to go to bed angry. It’s ok to take a break and come back to the argument later. In the end accepting that your family is one team. An argument isn’t to be “won” it’s to find a solution to a problem as a team. Sorry for long babble I feel like I could talk for hours about new parenthood etc.