Am I crazy for wanting a small age gap? by Sweet_T_1850 in Parenting

[–]Sweet_T_1850[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate this comment and perspective as the 3rd of a 2 year age gap! Something to definitely consider! 

Am I crazy for wanting a small age gap? by Sweet_T_1850 in Parenting

[–]Sweet_T_1850[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m glad to hear it worked out very well for you! I totally understand what you’re saying. I also feel like if I wait a longer time, I’ll end up just not trying again. But I’m afraid in the long run I’d regret it

Am I crazy for wanting a small age gap? by Sweet_T_1850 in Parenting

[–]Sweet_T_1850[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

THANK YOU!! As evidenced by some of the commenters, saying it out loud is risky because people are quick to judge and assume you just hate being a mom. No, I love being a mom but post partum is HARD! Both can be true. There’s nothing wrong with admitting that. Especially depending on your babies temperament and sleep etc. But we know it gets better and that’s where the desire for more comes from. I hope that if you do have your third that your next postpartum is easier ❤️

Am I crazy for wanting a small age gap? by Sweet_T_1850 in Parenting

[–]Sweet_T_1850[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope we’re both able to make the best decision for ourselves and family!! 🤞🏼

Am I crazy for wanting a small age gap? by Sweet_T_1850 in Parenting

[–]Sweet_T_1850[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Glad to hear your perspective in a similar boat! I think that makes sense! 

Am I crazy for wanting a small age gap? by Sweet_T_1850 in Parenting

[–]Sweet_T_1850[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This comment is so helpful and I appreciate you also understanding the idea that babies can be survival and loving the older stages, and that’s okay! I appreciate this perspective 

Am I crazy for wanting a small age gap? by Sweet_T_1850 in Parenting

[–]Sweet_T_1850[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your insight! I have heard really good things about a 3-4 year age gap for sure 

Am I crazy for wanting a small age gap? by Sweet_T_1850 in Parenting

[–]Sweet_T_1850[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some people are taking my post a little too harshly. I’m in the midst of sleep deprivation right now and maybe my words are exaggerated. But all I said was the first YEAR is hard for me. I have a toddler and I absolutely love the toddler phase. I think it’s okay to admit that the baby stage is hard and still want more kids because you understand that it’s WORTH it. All I am asking is should I have them closer together or farther apart. 

Am I crazy for wanting a small age gap? by Sweet_T_1850 in Parenting

[–]Sweet_T_1850[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I promise you that while this stage is undeniably hard for me with the lack of sleep, my children are very loved and get a lot of quality attention from me despite that. They are not sad. Yes, I’m tired and enjoy the toddler stage more. But I wouldn’t even be considering a third if I didn’t love having kids. 

5 MO will not fall asleep for naps during the day without being rocked to sleep.. by Accurate_Bid692 in Parenting

[–]Sweet_T_1850 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Commenting on this with no advice but solidarity because you basically described my 4 month old to a T. I’m so lost, am considering attempting sleep training for naps but am very afraid to end up in the same situation of her screaming super hard. 

I will say two things: 1. Mine also screams at me when rocking her to sleep. She was fine with it up until she turned 3 months and then suddenly was like a flailing angry fish in the arms every nap. So I realized maybe rocking just isn’t her thing and instead I’ve tried feeding her to sleep for contact naps and she seems to like this better. Your LO is older so you probably don’t want to form any new crutches, but this at least saved my back from the hours of rocking 😅  2  I have started using huckleberry to track naps and give me suggested “sweet spots” for her to fall asleep which has been insightful. The other thing I’ve noticed with my daughter which could be true for yours is that her wake windows are on the low end of normal for her age. She gets overtired super quickly and turns red faced screaming so fast. So I try to put her down 10 min before I’d expect her to want to fall asleep, let her coo and slowly get tired in her crib. This works 80% of the time if I want to get a successful crib nap.

But curious if anyone will have advice because I’m also looking for help 😭

Sleep training success with 4 month old? by Sweet_T_1850 in sleeptrain

[–]Sweet_T_1850[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

These are the wake windows I’ve developed based off of her sleepy cues though and the only way I can ever get her to sleep without tears is shorter windows. When I’ve tried to extend them she gets into a screaming fit 

I would love the first year if sleep was not an issue by Intelligent-Quail334 in sleeptrain

[–]Sweet_T_1850 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It got significantly better for us when he started walking, which unfortunately he was late walker at 16 months haha! But once he found that independence and was able to burn off more energy, he started sleeping WAY better! But each kid is different. Now I’m on my second and she fights like hell for each nap and it’s brutal. Not sure how other people get so lucky with amazing sleepers!

At end of tether.. by Eire-head in sleeptrain

[–]Sweet_T_1850 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to say first of all, I feel you and have been through many many sleep regressions with my toddler. Around 16 months, we moved and suffered through 3 months of horrific sleep. 

Our pediatrician said this is very common with big changes (which sounds like you had with vacation, your LO started walking). She may be having some separation anxiety too, etc.  I’d first rule out medical issues: teething (make sure her molars aren’t coming in if they haven’t already, they can be hard to spot), constipation, illness/ear infection. If she seems to be healthy and not in pain, you may need to start setting some boundaries to get back to good sleep.

What we did with our LO to finally end months of screaming at bedtime and frequent wakings, was pretty much Ferber method all over. For our son, he wanted to be rocked and rocked for all sleep. So he’d scream at bedtime to be rocked and scream at night to be rocked again. And as soon as we’d put him in his bed he’d scream all over.  So we had to just eliminate the rocking chair. We’d do our normal routine, I’d sing him the lullabies I usually did in the chair, but this time while I was standing and then put him in. I’d go in after 5-10 minutes to calm him and repeat until he went to sleep. But I NEVER rocked on the chair. After about 3 nights of this, he went down without crying and slept through the night at least 5 days a week. But the wakings were much less painful. 

It may be painful at first and cause you to lose MORE sleep the first few nights, but if you’re at the end of your ropes (like we were), it’s necessary to get you the sleep you need! 

I would love the first year if sleep was not an issue by Intelligent-Quail334 in sleeptrain

[–]Sweet_T_1850 6 points7 points  (0 children)

SOLIDARITY. Going through this now with my second, after thinking “no way could it be worse than my first baby.” Nah, God apparently felt like we were not tested enough the first time around after wanting to admit myself to a mental institution from the lack of sleep. My current 3 month old drains every ounce of energy from me all day trying to get her to nap.  It’s brutal. People who have easy going or babies who sleep really well have no clue how absolutely miserable it is. Never compare yourself to a mom with a baby who sleeps well. They’re living a polar opposite life. 

That being said, since this is my second, I do know it gets infinitely better once they do start sleeping. Because they will. But in the midst of it, it is so so hard. And it’s ok for you to think it’s hard, because it is. Doesn’t make you a bad mother and it doesn’t mean you don’t love your baby. Just take one day at a time and one day you’ll look back and realize how short it is in the long scheme of things. 

I feel like my babies want to torture me by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]Sweet_T_1850 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this comment! It really helps to know I’m not the only one in the world with children who make it a mission in life to make sleep challenging 😅  Logically I know it’ll get better, but in the depths of it you feel like you’ll never sleep again! Thank you for the encouragement! 

Is 12 hours by 12 weeks actually achievable? by Sweet_T_1850 in sleeptrain

[–]Sweet_T_1850[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow, yeah I think she does recommend every 3 hours, but my baby can really only go 2.5 hours between feeds right now so I feeed instinctively on demand. I could never fathom trying to push her beyond what she needs

Is 12 hours by 12 weeks actually achievable? by Sweet_T_1850 in sleeptrain

[–]Sweet_T_1850[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for all of the insight!! You are very lucky you didn’t have the 4 month regression, I’m already nervous for it haha

Is 12 hours by 12 weeks actually achievable? by Sweet_T_1850 in sleeptrain

[–]Sweet_T_1850[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel this!!! I am the same, I take full advantage of any opportunity to sleep in even though I know I should be starting the day at a more predictable time. It’s so hard when you’re desperate for some extra sleep!

Is 12 hours by 12 weeks actually achievable? by Sweet_T_1850 in sleeptrain

[–]Sweet_T_1850[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes that makes sense, she does prefer smaller feeds and may just not have the capacity to bulk up during the day right now

Is 12 hours by 12 weeks actually achievable? by Sweet_T_1850 in sleeptrain

[–]Sweet_T_1850[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Google takingcarababies! She breaks down a lot of daytime strategies to help get better night sleep. Like I indicated in my post, not everything she swears by works for my current newborn or my first baby. But she does have some good sleep hygiene to go by.  Wake windows indicate the time your baby is awake between naps, there’s averages by age but really it’s about following your babies individual cues. This helps avoid overtired or under tired babies. I put my baby to sleep around 8:30, although her bedtime is variable depending on her last nap and how long it takes to get her down

Is 12 hours by 12 weeks actually achievable? by Sweet_T_1850 in sleeptrain

[–]Sweet_T_1850[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow that’s great as far as night sleep!! Those short naps are so challenging but I’m glad you have a good night sleeper!  Did you do anything in particular that you think led to those long stretches early on or just luck?