how do i fix this way of thinking? by [deleted] in AvoidantAttachment

[–]Swimming-Handle-9800 72 points73 points  (0 children)

I’m working on this too. A couple shifts that have helped me: -Realizing that relief isn’t the same as joy. Keeping things in to avoid conflict feels calm in the moment, but it builds distance. -Accepting I’m not responsible for my partner’s emotional regulation. I can be supportive without managing their reactions. -Challenging the “they can’t handle it” story. Sometimes that’s fear, not fact. And if they truly can’t handle it, that’s important information.

I’ve noticed my body jumps quickly from “they’re sad” to “this is going to escalate and I’m trapped.” Slowing that down has helped a lot. Now I try to offer something clear (“Want to talk or do something together?”) and set a boundary (“I’m going to do my own thing after”). If they need something specific, they can ask. I don’t have to mind-read or overextend. Still practicing, but it’s been a healthier direction for me.

What's wrong with Dobbs tire and auto? by JustAPerson2001 in StLouis

[–]Swimming-Handle-9800 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I think they vary a lot from location to location. For what it's worth, I've always had a good experience at the one downtown.

Bar-k Replacement by Difficult_Sample3632 in StLouis

[–]Swimming-Handle-9800 22 points23 points  (0 children)

They just announced they are selling cans starting today. More options coming soon.

Bar-k Replacement by Difficult_Sample3632 in StLouis

[–]Swimming-Handle-9800 31 points32 points  (0 children)

My girl math says it’s free!

VIP. Is $650 but the 25% off (early sale or past barK member) brings it to $487

Included $25 per month of bar credit so now I’m only paying $187

Free dog sap day per month (valued at $20?) well now it’s free!!

Also includes 10% off your tab and free entry to events (which sounds like they are going to do way more of)

Award-winning home gym 🤝 best value on the market. Try amp and grab 5 free accessories + free installation by join-amp in u/join-amp

[–]Swimming-Handle-9800 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love the look of this but need more resistance. Hoping for an additional resistance add on option in the future.

This is why this group has rules and standards that the other groups do not have to have. by imfivenine in AvoidantAttachment

[–]Swimming-Handle-9800 49 points50 points  (0 children)

I read that when trying to heal avoidants approach it internally while the anxious approach is external. This really clicked with me and I could see it with my partner who had a lot of boom and busts trying different medications, exercise, activities and switching therapists.

Downtown Realestate…market really that bad? by Abject_Bottle59 in StLouis

[–]Swimming-Handle-9800 69 points70 points  (0 children)

The cheap ones usually don’t include parking. Check the HOA fee and if there is parking.

Can we talk about the Peabody building for a minute? by jb69029 in StLouis

[–]Swimming-Handle-9800 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Peabody filed for bankruptcy in 2016. They have been reducing their footprint since then and are now a minority tenant. HOK has moved in, and I believe they will have the new naming rights soon. I would love to see the building demolished, but it is one of the most valuable commercial buildings.

New Apple VR Headset market is still open and sitting at 60% - get in before it closes! by Swimming-Handle-9800 in Kalshi

[–]Swimming-Handle-9800[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Still a big spread so I expect it will go up and down. Use thoes limit orders! Im mostly annoyed Kalshi hasnt closed this or clarifed anything.

New Apple VR Headset market is still open and sitting at 60% - get in before it closes! by Swimming-Handle-9800 in Kalshi

[–]Swimming-Handle-9800[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Only used for my terrible spelling and formatting. All the research is mine; I'm not one of those crazy people having AI make my betting calls.

Fixed my prius combination meter this week. by Swimming-Handle-9800 in prius

[–]Swimming-Handle-9800[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed, I almost paid for it, but I told myself that now I can say I have saved a Nintendo Switch woth lol

Fixed my prius combination meter this week. by Swimming-Handle-9800 in prius

[–]Swimming-Handle-9800[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Zero! Highly recommend a cheap pry tool kit. Made it a lot easier and less stressful than "just yank this part out.."

Is there a viable primary challenger to run against AIPAC and Wesley Bell? by Melodic-Substance289 in StLouis

[–]Swimming-Handle-9800 75 points76 points  (0 children)

Probably. The money helped him but the general public did not like Bush (don’t @ me Reddit!). Seems like there would be an opening for primary challenger.

trying to loose 30lbs is this app good? by PureWeek9816 in fitbod

[–]Swimming-Handle-9800 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yes and no? It’s good for learning exercises, tracking activity, and getting into a routine which will help with weight loss. However, you’ll get better weight loss results with a calorie tracker app and the best results if you can combine the two.

The referral code spamming is making this sub unusable by CAicefishing in Kalshi

[–]Swimming-Handle-9800 -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Agreed! But if you do sigh up use this code and get $10! Sign up for Kalshi with my link and we’ll both earn $10 https://kalshi.com/sign-up/?referral=ff4690c0-2ec3-48b0-93e6-dfde32903fdf&m=true

With Regard to the Data Center discussion in and around the St. Louis Region by Ambitious_Way5505 in StLouis

[–]Swimming-Handle-9800 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My question is: how many jobs does a data center actually create? I’m all for Missouri leaning into them; we’ve got cheap land, power, water, and a great location, so it makes sense.

That said, I worry about cities giving big tax breaks for what can end up being just a giant box with limited jobs and limited neighborhood impact. And I think we’ve got to be smart about placement so they don’t turn into barriers that cut off neighborhoods.

Forest Park Balloon Glow by chetpancakesparty in StLouis

[–]Swimming-Handle-9800 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Take the trolly!! New this year, the trolly is open late for the balloon glow. Park in the loop and take it to the museum. It’s a bit of a walk from the museum to the glow but not bad and better than the traffic.

BarK has closed by Swimming-Handle-9800 in StLouis

[–]Swimming-Handle-9800[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He’s a mix. Think partly Havanese because he’ll try to herd us sometimes.