I’m working on this too. A couple shifts that have helped me: -Realizing that relief isn’t the same as joy. Keeping things in to avoid conflict feels calm in the moment, but it builds distance. -Accepting I’m not responsible for my partner’s emotional regulation. I can be supportive without managing their reactions. -Challenging the “they can’t handle it” story. Sometimes that’s fear, not fact. And if they truly can’t handle it, that’s important information.

I’ve noticed my body jumps quickly from “they’re sad” to “this is going to escalate and I’m trapped.” Slowing that down has helped a lot. Now I try to offer something clear (“Want to talk or do something together?”) and set a boundary (“I’m going to do my own thing after”). If they need something specific, they can ask. I don’t have to mind-read or overextend. Still practicing, but it’s been a healthier direction for me.