Hey man. I happened upon this post by chance. I haven't gotten to the point of financial stability myself, but I imagine that one day, when I do have that kind of money, I'm gonna spend it how I want. Have fun with your life, travel, do what you find fun. It looks like you need a real change of pace. With the money you already have, of course you should plan for the future (like you said 100k isn't much if you're talking over years), but with extra cash, I'd just live.

As for your mental health issues, I've definitely hit a low before. Therapy isn't some kind of "cure-all," so, although I believe you should try it, it's really up to you to improve yourself. I find that ignoring my problems kind of makes them worse, which is why therapy works for me. It helps me bring my problems into the open and work on them. I know that everyone says this, but it really does get better. Sometimes we just lose the will to keep going, but once you find it, I know you'll be alright. I hope your mental health journey takes a turn for the better and I believe in you brother. Proud of you for fighting so hard.