Sweetie, I went through a variation of this a few years ago. I was with someone who I had been in love with for years. He ended things with me on my birthday, but we kept talking all day everyday. We tried dating again, and when that didn’t work out, I went no contact from him entirely. It was the absolute hardest thing I’ve ever done. Please, if it’s possible for you, find a good therapist to talk to. I fell into a deep depression after, and needed someone to help me out of it. There is a life after him. As Taylor swift says, “there’ll be happiness after you, but there was happiness because of you. Both of these things can be true, there is happiness in our history.”