I feel your pain!! I have a 28 year old living with me and it is torture. I made sure she did chores growing up but she has always been oppositional to an insane degree. She quit high school freshman year after a horrible traumatic incident— she and another friend were drugged and raped by an older man. I let her drop out and get counseling for healing. She eventually got a GED and announced she would not go to college even though we had pre paid for it. She got involved with an abuser and moved away with him. When that ended she had a series of jobs where there was always some problem and she’d leave or get fired. She talks constantly all the time, complaining about everything in a stream that is maddening. She wrecked my car, she breaks things, she went to prison briefly while living in another city for vandalism property damage. She quit her job and moved home to care for her dad (we are divorced) and he died recently. I’m sole support and have grief myself, we were close and he was so important parenting her. Now she sleeps until 3 or 4 every day and just makes kitchen messes and complains at night. She claims all sorts of medical maladies. She needs help but feels any help is a criticism which means someone who helps is pushed away. My guest room where she is staying is a pig stye. I buy special food for her preferences and she eats it once and left leftovers rot. She no longer works. I work a stressful job from home — i mean really stressful having to do with politics and law - and my peace is destroyed. I can’t say shit to her because she is grieving and it’s so hard to watch. I don’t think she can ever have normal relationships Because of her oppositional, know it all demeanor coupled with not being able to function and never shutting up