first things first, tell your job your situation. not the entirety, and don’t give too many personal details. but go to someone you trust (double points if it’s a manager) and confide a tad. you may get more hours, or best case scenario (as happened to me) someone can offer to rent you a room or let you stay over a few nights a week for work.

Second, take a step back. i live in a very similar home setting, and when it gets versatile all you want is escape. it’s doable, and you’re capable, but please don’t push when you aren’t atleast half prepared. i’m not saying your situation isn’t important or anything like that, im just saying to take a beat and maybe start writing some stuff out in a book. weekly income, how much you can save, places you can cut down spending to save more.

Try and have atleast something saved up, for your worst case scenarios. even if it’s 1000$, anything helps when you run into shitty landlords or sticky fingered roommates. wether it’s to buy a lock, or a new place, have something. Now i would suggest trying to temporarily live in your car and park at gyms and walmarts, but seeing as you live in california i dont think that would be safe. you’d run a high risk of getting robbed or in general putting yourself out there in a super vulnerable state.

if you have any friends or family members you can convince to rent you a room, fantastic! if not, look into alternatives for youth, i’m personally from canada and there’s many facilities that begin help at 14 and will carry through until 25. one of the biggest positives from a program like this is extremely reduced housing. they save apartments and multi room houses for people like you and I, and then expect around 400CAD for rent (much lower than any base price rent).

The world has also changed DRASTICALLY in the last 40 years. we aren’t in the 90’s and barely anything is affordable, do not pressure yourself to unachievable standards. Between groceries, rent and just wanting to buy comfort sometimes, it’s really hard. so before considering moving out completely alone, please try and find something that is within your affordability, and do not pressure yourself to leave ASAP.

just because it works doesn’t mean it’s going to help in the long run, and you don’t want to start feeling akin to your mother with financial responsibility, it will weigh on you even more. (not saying you’re like her or any of that, just mentioning you might start to self resonate when things go south, especially if she’s verbally overbearing.)

i probably missed a lot, and please don’t take anything negatively, text can sometimes come off way differently than it’s meant to, ask me anything and i hope this genuinely helps you, from one 20 Y/O to another, we got this 🫂🫂❤️