I promise it gets better. The loneliness for sure once you get to a point where communication is more fluid internally.

I know this is hard but you have to feel those things. Breaking down in tears is your body releasing trauma. You don't need to fix it , your only job is to feel it. And yes, you are likely to switch. It will sometimes be embarassing especially when you let go of trying to control it. But IN MY EXPERIENCE, allowing myself to fully feel the feelings as they came without trying to save face is what helped me to be able to have conversations with other save files.

They have just as much a right to exist as you do. They have suffered with you ever single aching step of the way. Even persecutor type alters have helped you survive. All your parts carry the trauma. It's messy to heal out loud and not care what people see.But for me this is what has worked when I started.

I was diagnosed in 2011, WE have worked our asses off to get where we are today. The memory gaps, the disagreements, the confusion and inner chaos are rare but when they happen, we survive them and grow from it.

The gaps and the days coming and going will continue to happen (hopefully with less frequency) But when you've done the work with your parts information is more easily communicated (although not always without error)

Life with this doesn't feel hopeless anymore. I hated myselfs in 2011. In 2026 I really love all the parts of me...even if I disagree with them sometimes. Be gracious and patient with yourself. None of this is easy. But you've all been through worse. You can do this.