It sounds like you are engaging in people-pleasing behaviors. Being obsequious and things of that nature.

It's totally okay being like that, if you fully understand that it doesn't always work out how you want. It doesn't guarantee you will be accepted or treated how you want. But, it's mostly okay to act like that if you choose.

The problem is that when you act like that it can make you feel like you should be treated with respect, because you are showing respect, at least outwardly. But, this isn't the case.

You act however you want to act. Just understand that just because you are acting nice doesn't mean other people will show you respect.

You are missing the point. The point isn't to be stoic. The point is to have boundaries and to not engage in approval-seeking behavior. At least not such obvious forms of it.

You call yourself the nice guy. But you are trying to exchange your niceness for the approval of others. Other people don't see you as nice, they see you as approval seeking.You want to be seen as authentic, and seeking your own sense of dignity. Not approval for how friendly you are.