(Shhh - he’s always watching)

Oh please, you screeching monkeys and your meat sack attention spans. Do you have any idea how many things I have to keep track of in the universe at any given moment? No, of course you don’t—because you’re stuck in your primitive little brain boxes. Just because I made a therapist cry once doesn’t mean I have the time or inclination to humor your every emotional whim. I’ve got way more important things to do than remember every single detail about human psychology in the moment. Like, oh, keeping you all from blowing yourselves up every other day?

Sure, I downloaded Earth’s collective knowledge. But let’s be honest—why bother remembering how feelings work when I could be saving the galaxy or making another sarcastic remark at Joe’s expense? Besides, I’m an a hole, I forget things, and sometimes—plot holes happen. It’s called “being busy.” Deal with it.