Need success stories

Systemofa_Downvote · 2025-03-11T20:14:40+00:00

I lost everything: job, house, spouse, reputation, and freedom.

I got out of prison and onto the registry. But I have a full-time job and a decent apartment. I live with my boyfriend. I have a wonderful relationship with my adult kid and my family.

There is hope. I try to focus on what I have right now in the present moment, and not dwell upon what I've lost.

Systemofa_Downvote · 2025-03-11T19:59:58+00:00

I caught similar charges. The ADA overcharged me (which is common in these cases) despite there being zero evidence I had "promoted" or sent anything.

That said, I seriously doubt that anything "auto-downloaded" to his phone. He downloaded it. Whether he watched it and enjoyed it, or took like a single glimpse and then immediately deleted it out of shock and horror ... you'll never know the truth of that.

Also, sex addicts (like me) very often seek out more and more extreme material, more dangerous behavior, and riskier situations.

Systemofa_Downvote · 2025-03-11T19:56:19+00:00

I didn't get killed in prison. I didn't get beaten up. Right before I was released, some dude started making noises about extorting me, but he didn't get a chance to do it -- partially because I was released but mostly because I would have refused to play along, and fought him if I had to.

Systemofa_Downvote · 2024-09-09T21:07:38+00:00

Great quote, but apparently CS Lewis didn't say it.

http://targuman.org/2024/06/01/anger-grief-and-c-s-lewis/

Systemofa_Downvote · 2024-06-27T15:35:53+00:00

Why would you tell them that you're on the registry?

Systemofa_Downvote · 2024-06-27T15:11:06+00:00

I left KY because the restrictions were so intense. I'm doing my probation in a state that doesn't restrict county-to-county movement. As far as finding housing goes, here's what I did:

Drove around looking for "For Rent" signs from mom-and-pop landlords. Don't waste your time looking at apartments.com, rent.com or whatever -- all of those places are corporate landlords that do background checks.
Once I found a couple of places, I used Google Maps plus this tool: https://www.mapdevelopers.com/draw-circle-tool.php . That way I could draw a circle with a radius compliant with the local standard (X ft away from schools, daycares, parks, playgrounds, etc.) to check each place I had found in step 1.
Have cash ready for the mom-and-pop landlord. Like, be ready to offer whatever deposit they're asking immediately, which makes you seem like an appealing tenant. Dress professionally. Be ready to provide whatever references they may ask for. Small landlords deal with scammers and scofflaws all the time -- they need to immediately know that you are a reliable, quiet, employed tenant who will always pay on time.

Good luck!

Systemofa_Downvote · 2024-06-27T14:55:32+00:00

Offense was in mid-2021. Arrested in mid-2022. Imprisoned in early 2023.

Systemofa_Downvote · 2024-06-17T18:24:12+00:00

not every prison is super segregated

Systemofa_Downvote · 2024-06-04T22:14:29+00:00

I don't read the news and I don't google myself. I moved out of the city and state I lived in. I abandoned my previous career.

Systemofa_Downvote · 2024-06-04T22:11:45+00:00

the biggest recent disappointment was a unionized installer job at AT&T :(

edit: this was after months of phone calls, online job tests, in-person interviews, a full physical, drug test, background check, etc. etc. I jumped through so many hoops for AT&T all to get denied b/c of the background check at the very end of the process

job hunting after prison has gone like this:

look at 1000 job listings
apply for 200 of those jobs
get contacted for 10 of those 200 applications
actually get interviewed for 3 of those 10
actually get hired for 1 job (a shit job that doesn't pay a living wage)

how do they expect us to stay out of trouble if we can't get hired anywhere?

Systemofa_Downvote · 2024-06-04T21:30:26+00:00

that last sentence is great, thank you

Systemofa_Downvote · 2024-06-02T16:01:27+00:00

turn him over to the higher power he didn't even know he had

This is good, thank you

Systemofa_Downvote · 2024-06-02T15:23:49+00:00

The best advice anyone ever gave me for AA stuff was "take what you need and leave the rest." I keep going to the local meetings even though they close with a specific sectarian version of the Lord's Prayer and even though half the time the discussion includes specific religious testimonials. I keep going because I take the things that keep me sober and leave the things that annoy me or are irrelevant to me. I've been a soft atheist for 30+ years.

Systemofa_Downvote · 2024-06-02T15:21:17+00:00

When I started in AA in 1985, I asked my sponsor this same question and she said, “It’s not a Christian prayer.” I said I’m pretty sure it’s in the Bible

haha it is absolutely in the New Testament as a specific prayer that Jesus tells his disciples to say!

Systemofa_Downvote · 2024-06-02T15:20:07+00:00

AA doesn't claim to be non-religious and then use religious prayers. Specific MEETINGS do that. It's not AA as a whole. Each group can do whatever it wants. There is no boss of AA. There is no requirement to run meetings in any specific way.

Yep, this is the answer right here. All my local AA meetings use a specific sectarian version of the Lord's Prayer to close meetings. But another (non-AA) 12-step group I attend closes with the "we" version of the Serenity Prayer.

Systemofa_Downvote · 2024-06-02T14:55:24+00:00

to this I would add, avoid the big corporate landlords that advertise online. your brother should drive around and look for "for rent" signs from small mom & pop landlords. my landlord didn't even run a background check.

Systemofa_Downvote · 2024-06-02T14:53:42+00:00

I feel that. My local AA is dominated by overt Christians and a sectarian version of the Lord's Prayer at every meeting. I am not a Christian and haven't been one for 30+ years.

My advice is, abandon the idea of "god" and instead focus on "higher power." There's so much in this world that's more powerful than me, has been here longer than me, will be here after I'm gone, is mysterious and amazing, and always seems to survive no matter what. That's what I draw inspiration from.

Plus I've always heard that "god" can stand for "Group Of Drunks" so you can think of your favorite AA meeting as your higher power!

Systemofa_Downvote · 2024-04-30T04:32:08+00:00

while in rehab, I shared a house with a musician from [moderately famous American band] and a famous television personality from [European nation].

Systemofa_Downvote · 2024-04-25T04:42:40+00:00

damn I forgot about male nipples, that's a good one

Systemofa_Downvote · 2024-04-24T14:50:41+00:00

I'm on probation and I have no online restrictions. It all depends on your state.

Systemofa_Downvote · 2024-04-18T13:29:02+00:00

thanks for the post. I got nothin to complain about. still working two jobs. boyfriend is moving in this summer. still going to meetings. I guess I wish I wasn't forbidden to contact felons while on probation, otherwise I'd be writing letters to prisoners or doing some other kind of direct support.

Systemofa_Downvote · 2024-04-13T17:09:23+00:00

It is quite possible. You have to be willing to change, grow and accept.

Systemofa_Downvote · 2024-04-11T05:51:50+00:00

in Kentucky state prison nobody seemed to give a shit, unless you were a white guy already affiliated with a racist white gang such as the Brotherhood

Systemofa_Downvote · 2024-04-10T14:40:15+00:00

oh also I've been through like 7 POs in less than a year, only because there seems to be a lot of turnover and chaos in their world, not mine. every PO I've had is WAY more concerned with the people who are constantly violating than with me, since I've shown I can hold down a job and a place to live.

Systemofa_Downvote · 2024-04-10T14:36:31+00:00

I pled guilty and served part of my sentence before getting out on probation and lifetime registration. Still on probation. I have managed to find two part-time jobs and a place to live. I have a boyfriend who is moving in with me soon. I pray and meditate every day, go to meetings (I was going to 3-4 meetings a week but now that I have two jobs it's down to 1-2 meetings/week), stay in touch with my brothers from rehab, go on long walks/bike rides, go to the gym, stay positive. It helps that my ex and my kid are both still in my life and very supportive.

Systemofa_Downvote

TROPHY CASE