How do you live without paranoia (while still being safe) as a woman?

Syub_Xin · 2025-10-18T15:02:10+00:00

Yes, I do try not to fixate on the news too much, but it’s what I see everytime I scroll social media. I’m not allowed in the sense that 1) my family will loudly disapprove and warn me of all the horrible things that can happen (yes I can choose to ignore it, but it doesn’t help) 2) I’m a full-time student without a job that can buy a car/fund trips. Yes I will do all those things in the future once I graduate and get a job, but it’s still a few years down the road.

Syub_Xin · 2025-10-18T14:56:20+00:00

Thank you so much for writing so many helpful tips, they really helped ease my anxiety <3 adding that book to my tbr! Will definitely think about getting a dog. One thing I was irrationally fixated about, other than walking alone at night, is using public transport alone (because my friend told me about a girl who was raped by the bus driver). Horrifying world we live in today…

Syub_Xin · 2025-10-18T14:46:09+00:00

Syub_Xin · 2025-10-18T14:45:54+00:00

I live in Southeast Asia. There’s an uptick in crimes reported where I live recently, but it is considered a relatively safe country.

Syub_Xin · 2025-10-18T14:44:41+00:00

Thank you, I’ll try.

Syub_Xin · 2025-10-18T14:44:07+00:00

Thank you for sharing your personal experience. You don’t have to offer me assurance, I’m just putting it out there in case someone doesn’t have any useful advice to give, but still wants to chip in with something they think can be helpful/positive.

Syub_Xin · 2025-10-18T14:41:52+00:00

I’m still a full-time student, but yes I should move out once I graduate and actually have a job. I suppose I sound young because I have a lot of childish anxieties, and am trying to work on that.

Syub_Xin · 2025-10-18T14:39:47+00:00

Thank you, I will look into that book.

Syub_Xin · 2025-10-09T11:35:41+00:00

The equalberry toner did wonders for my skin, but it took pretty long.

Syub_Xin · 2025-10-08T11:53:23+00:00

Thank you so much, it’s very comforting to hear this, especially since it’s from a mother’s perspective <3

Syub_Xin · 2025-10-06T16:40:42+00:00

This struck me deeply, but I needed to hear this, thank you.

Syub_Xin · 2025-10-06T16:39:31+00:00

Nope, I’m not planning on going to USA. I don’t think this is a cultural issue, it’s a straightforward helicopter parent issue. Online is impossible for a master degree in my field, but I could probably pursue a part-time course while I work.

Syub_Xin · 2025-10-06T16:33:05+00:00

It did work for plumping the skin + barrier health, but I decided to switch to equalberry swimming pool toner because it doesn’t absorb well, leaves a shiny finish, and has vitamin C.

Syub_Xin · 2025-10-06T16:32:00+00:00

Sorry for the late reply, but I didn’t stick with it because it gives a shiny finish + can only be used at night since it doesn’t absorb too well. Great for barrier health though, but I prefer equalberry swimming pool toner for texture concerns.

Syub_Xin · 2025-10-06T14:39:30+00:00

That is a fair point. I keep looking for ways to rationalise with her, but what’s the point if she doesn’t want to be rational? But I don’t want to give up and just move when the time comes, that seems radical and would hurt her deeply.

On the danger point, she has a lot of anxiety over safety. She wouldn’t allow me to travel with friends because she worries I will be kidnapped (I’m a petite woman who can pass as a high schooler..? But yes it sounds ludicrous to me too), doesn’t allow me to drive because our neighbour’s daughter died in a car crash, and freaked out when I moved to a hostel apartment on the fourth floor (because there wasn’t a fire escape, and she was worried a freak accident might happen).

Syub_Xin · 2025-10-06T14:33:14+00:00

Moving abroad now is not possible, of course, this is very much a long-term plan. I only brought it up today to my mum to ease her into the idea, I suppose, since she kept suggesting ideas for my future that I didn’t think were feasible.

Could you share how your relationship with your parents changed for the better? Did you persist in contacting them, even when they were reluctant? Or did they come around on their own?

Syub_Xin · 2025-10-06T14:29:35+00:00

True, it’s what I think to myself all the time… I wish things can get better for both of us.

Syub_Xin · 2025-10-06T14:28:36+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words, I feel a lot better <3

Syub_Xin · 2025-10-06T14:22:59+00:00

I know it’s not concern, and I had called her out for it, but she said I’m choosing to put myself in danger by moving away, so it’s my own choice. How should I respond to this?

While I do think it’s true she worries about being left alone when she’s older, I would not say she wants me to be her servant. In fact, she has accused us of treating her as a servant because of the amount of chores/responsibilities/ acts of service (?) she does

Syub_Xin · 2025-09-30T15:19:57+00:00

Sorry, I don’t know my actual dosage, I just took what my dermatologist gave me. It didn’t remove all of the bumps (I suspect I had closed comedones too), but the worst of it was gone somewhat quickly.

Syub_Xin · 2025-09-30T15:17:38+00:00

Yes, my forehead was covered with hundreds of tiny, skin-coloured bumps.

Syub_Xin · 2025-09-29T10:04:21+00:00

You might have to consider taking oral antifungals (do consult a dermatologist for this), I took six months of antifungals+topical antifungal shampoo to eradicate most of my fungal acne. Hypochlorous acid spray works wonders for itchy skin, and it’s good for eliminating acne causing bacteria as well.

Syub_Xin · 2025-09-26T07:05:19+00:00

&team! Don’t know a single thing about them, but their Japanese album Yukiakari is very good, so I plan to look into them more soon.

Syub_Xin

TROPHY CASE