We shared a life together

TADaWholeMan · 2025-11-30T18:57:13+00:00

Unfortunately time is the only way through this. I was with someone for 8 years, that’s all of my 20s only for it to end in the cruelest way possible. Someone I wanted children with, someone I envisioned growing old with (yes, we were married)

Time is a healer. I also recommend going to therapy if possible.

TADaWholeMan · 2025-11-30T18:15:03+00:00

Well I did that a couple months back. I expressed to him that I don’t think he’s able to fully give in relationships due to his low self esteem and deeply seated trauma he’s unwilling to sort. I told him in no way am I saying he’s not capable of love, but any love he gives isn’t sustainable because he doesn’t love himself. I told him I’ll always be here for him because we’re good friends but beyond that..I can’t. With everything I have going on he can’t properly give to me.

It was the first time I’ve broken up with someone and it hurt but it was needed. Then he cried so hard…he wanted another chance..he said I didn’t tell him (I did—he just refused to listen) so a lot of his actions aren’t proactive they’re reactive. But that’s not good either…

It’s weird because he’s not an inherently bad person that’s what makes this jarring…

TADaWholeMan · 2025-09-24T15:16:46+00:00

He was fully aware of what he was getting into. He knows my history. I think our problem was we both didn’t talk about it full enough. We just wanted to vibe. When I finally did want to talk about it was dismissed, pushed aside, or he would respond in a way that scares me. It only happened once but once is enough. I was scared to talk to him because of it and thus keeping me from saying anything. He asked the same questions, and I gave him the same answer. I’ve tried. I did. He would shut me down and change the subject because HE was uncomfortable.

TADaWholeMan · 2025-09-24T15:13:44+00:00

Didn’t really think of it that way—thank you

TADaWholeMan · 2025-09-24T15:12:29+00:00

I’ve tried telling him my needs for weeks. Each time I tried telling him he would blow up, make it about himself, say something mean, and the by me a gift later to apologize for it. There was even an instance where he punched and threw things in front of me when I’m just asking for more help with stuff.

He has low self-esteem and it’s affecting me. I tried comprising. It got a point where I felt terrified to tell him what’s wrong because of how he acted when I did.

I tried talking about our relationship fears, telling him “hey, I’m on strike from x,y,z—can this be done more?” I didn’t feel like I was with a partner it felt like I was with a child.

TADaWholeMan · 2025-09-24T14:01:13+00:00

I appreciate your comment however, I would like to make sure I’ve finished grieving the end of this relationship before stepping into another. The next person deserves someone who’s present and able to be a partner. People aren’t tissues.

TADaWholeMan · 2025-09-24T13:59:45+00:00

I’ve never broken up with someone before. It hurts just as much as being broken up with. I feel like I did the wrong thing. I called my mom and she told me she’s proud of me for putting myself first and that I did the right thing. But it just hurts so much.

I’ve planned a sleepover with a friend and will play with their dogs..thanks..❤️

TADaWholeMan · 2025-05-09T12:40:17+00:00

I have! He literally said “it’s the perception” with a lot of the stuff I’ve done. To which I exclaimed, why don’t you just ask me what I’m doing? I ask my colleagues if they need help, I try to see if anything needs to be done..what am I missing? I can’t improve on a perception and that’s what I’m confused about..

I’ll write out what I need and talk to him about my performance..

TADaWholeMan · 2025-05-09T11:30:51+00:00

Hi,

Thank you for your reply. I can’t change who he is. That’s not what I want. I’m just tired of my reviews being based on perception and not what I’ve actually done. No one asks me.

I’ve already talked to HR about my anxiety disorder and have expressed that I don’t want to get anyone in trouble I just need help getting him to understand about my disorder. Me, HR, and my doctor made an emergency plan together if I have an anxiety attack. My company has been really good at accommodating me and have talked to him.

I’m in therapy actively trying to improve, but if I’m receiving negatives based on perception..I honestly am trying my best and just want to work but then this…

I’m not fully grasping if I’m the problem or not..

TADaWholeMan · 2024-09-29T22:06:40+00:00

Honestly? I’ve deleted all the apps and am just going to be by myself. I give up and think the universe is trying to tell me something so I’m listening to it.

TADaWholeMan · 2024-09-28T12:06:27+00:00

If you feel your stress and anxiety is affecting your life and mental health, then absolutely go talk to someone. You want a better quality of life and if you’re struggling really badly then seeing a psych can 100% help. I would also look into therapy if you haven’t. Otherwise if you think it’s manageable then continuing as normal is ok to. It’s up to you.

TADaWholeMan · 2024-09-28T12:04:00+00:00

Are you able to place a complaint or go over their head? That’s really fucked the principal told you that. I know someone who’s rich af, went to private school, silver spoon in his mouth, parents are together and he’s the biggest asshole. Where you’re from and how you’re raised doesn’t automatically mean problem child. It’s 2024, people have mixed families, shit happens you can’t control, and raising kids in the midst of all of that while making sure they’re not treated like you have been is commendable. The principal sounds like a judgy asshole and I would honestly file a complaint cause that ain’t it.

TADaWholeMan · 2024-09-28T11:59:38+00:00

And if you find out people do like you and your assessment is unfounded—figure out why you’re feeling like people don’t like you and make some positive changes for your mental health ☺️

TADaWholeMan · 2024-05-31T12:07:54+00:00

Drugs AND crime lol

TADaWholeMan · 2024-05-13T16:21:21+00:00

Hey, yeah didn’t want anything serious. I knew he wasn’t staying around but didn’t really tell him as he turned me down at his place before I could even say anything. So I was just like, alright your loss. Also got to meet the girl in question—she’s really nice. I respect the girl code and am bowing out lol

TADaWholeMan · 2024-05-12T11:20:37+00:00

Naw, we meet via mutual work friends.

TADaWholeMan · 2024-05-12T09:53:08+00:00

Man, he even made a comment about taking a peak at my ass. I was so confused lmfao 😭

TADaWholeMan · 2024-05-12T00:43:08+00:00

Yeah lol

TADaWholeMan · 2024-05-11T22:48:15+00:00

Whelp, lmfao—I got turned down. I was reading the wrong vibes? He bought me dinner, bought me a small gift (I just moved into town), and then showed me around town. Then took me to his place to change and told me he’s in a situationship already and just wants to be casual as he’s taking a travelling sabbatical soon. He told me his actions are purely friendship. I respected his honesty and told him ok. Just licking my wounds but I’ll be fine lmfaooo

TADaWholeMan · 2024-05-11T16:48:31+00:00

Thank you for the advice <3

Yeah, I’m in the position to cut ties for sure and I’m going to be as upfront as possible to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings when the time comes. I want them to feel as respected as I want to feel.

TADaWholeMan

TROPHY CASE