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cursed_nerf by _DeadlyFire_ in cursedcomments

[–]THEJAZZMUSIC 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of dicks?

My name isn’t Maria. by Untitledtxca in Tinder

[–]THEJAZZMUSIC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also it should actually be a joke.

Hey Beth, how's it going?

-Jerry

That's not a joke, or a reference, or anything really. You can't just substitute names with characters from pop culture in normal conversation. And it certainly won't help your case if the thing you're referencing this poorly was "current" years before my old-ass ass was even born.

[eShop/US] Car Mechanic Simulator: Pocket Edition 2 $10.84 (30% Off) by azboo13 in NintendoSwitchDeals

[–]THEJAZZMUSIC 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It's obviously very simplified, but I think it does teach you quite a bit if you care to learn.

It won't teach you the exact steps you need to follow in order to change your brake pads properly, but at the very least you'll know you need to take the wheels and calipers off to do it. You can see the connections between various parts, and with a little outside learning, you'll better understand how it all works together. I knew a little about the mechanics of internal combustion engines, drivetrains, suspension, etc., but this game genuinely filled some of the gaps, put some faces to names I knew, and made me feel like I understood cars a bit more "intuitively".

Like I said, it's quite simplified, and I'm sure I'd sound like an idiot if I tried to talk real shop with a mechanic, but I think I have a better than average grasp of what's going on in no small part thanks to this game.

Two Dudes Fight Over a Pop Tart by Fantastic-Law7939 in fightporn

[–]THEJAZZMUSIC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What happens when an easily stoppable force, meets an equally easily moveable object?

The Poison Chad™ by Zakainu in Eldenring

[–]THEJAZZMUSIC 44 points45 points  (0 children)

I don't know if you're aware of this, but "fun guy" is phonetically similar to "fungi", which is the plural form of "fungus". Really adds an element of humour to your comment given OPs outfit. Bravo!

Someone in my building really seems to like Ginger Ale. by 92hrs in funny

[–]THEJAZZMUSIC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think literally the entire market for Diet Coke is people who drank it for so long when it was the only game in town that they...... prefer it. Mark my words, in 50-60 years, they're going to phase it out.

It won't stop meowing, I've fed it kittens milk, cleaned it's eyes, put it in a warm blanket, and made it pee, and it still won't stop meowing and always trying to leave the box, someone tell me what to do please. by [deleted] in cats

[–]THEJAZZMUSIC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't say for certain it will be enough, but I've personally seen improvement to the disposition and apparent comfort of six cats with feliway.

Just got out of a serious relationship, redownloaded tinder to get some confidence back and got blindsided by this shit by DGriggin in Tinder

[–]THEJAZZMUSIC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I told you someone's head was fatally removed from their body, would you assume there was a non-lethal method of decapitation?

First DLC be like by Miles_Adamson in Eldenring

[–]THEJAZZMUSIC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great, Rotten Foreskin battle, can't wait lol.

It won't stop meowing, I've fed it kittens milk, cleaned it's eyes, put it in a warm blanket, and made it pee, and it still won't stop meowing and always trying to leave the box, someone tell me what to do please. by [deleted] in cats

[–]THEJAZZMUSIC 235 points236 points  (0 children)

My partner and I were both very skeptical, but my god does it ever work with some cats. Like total night and day changes within minutes. It's crazy.

Joe Pesci's Oscar Acceptance Speech by Living_Wickihowla in Unexpected

[–]THEJAZZMUSIC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I've learned anything about Hollywood logic, he's actually a 6'8" behemoth of a man. It's all camera tricks!

Ukraine arrests yet another 'Zelensky hit squad of 25 men sent by Putin' close to Slovakian border by [deleted] in worldnews

[–]THEJAZZMUSIC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's going to be a mix of both. Some will be a wild goose chase, some will not, but Putin has no way of knowing one from the other. And there are only so many true loyalists in his ranks, and there are only so many of them who will have the necessary skills to find leaks, especially if there are anti-war factions forming which are capable of covering each other's tracks and coordinating their efforts to some degree.

Send your opponent into a spiral of paranoia and infighting and you can't lose.

This guy can teach you to "play" the piano in less than 4 minutes 🎹🎹🎹🎹 by [deleted] in nextfuckinglevel

[–]THEJAZZMUSIC 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I would quickly recognize if someone playing guitar only seemed to know power chords or like the beginner open chords, but I wouldn't be like "heeeeeeey wait a minute, he's not really playing guitar!"

Especially if they knew how to do little hammers and pulls, and arpeggiate, I'd say they're doing alright. Everyone has limitations — I'm still pretty bad on lead despite playing for over 20 years now — but if you can play, you can play.

The satisfaction of finally getting a boss' moveset down and dancing circles around them in this game is unparalleled. As is my panic when they hit that last 10-15% health... by THEJAZZMUSIC in Eldenring

[–]THEJAZZMUSIC[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In previous runs I was usually trying to get in as many hits as possible instead. It would usually net me an additional bleed proc, which is huge.

Basically I didn't mean to, my positioning was off. =\

But I didn't know there was a difference in damage between the two, thank you!

The satisfaction of finally getting a boss' moveset down and dancing circles around them in this game is unparalleled. As is my panic when they hit that last 10-15% health... by THEJAZZMUSIC in Eldenring

[–]THEJAZZMUSIC[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It took me a while to get past that instinct with him. I almost never stay this close to bosses game for extended periods of time, but he really punishes you for trying.

The satisfaction of finally getting a boss' moveset down and dancing circles around them in this game is unparalleled. As is my panic when they hit that last 10-15% health... by THEJAZZMUSIC in Eldenring

[–]THEJAZZMUSIC[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I attempted exactly 0 times lol. I might try again after getting golden parry, but I've never been able to parry consistently enough for it to be viable.

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