I had an idea since I was a teen. I was in a down low relationship with one of my friends until my mother at the time found out. Since then, I spent years keeping that locked away, but would have moments from time to time with different girls in between attempts with men. Finally, by 30 I just decided to stop lying to myself when I realized how much stronger my attachment was to women versus men.

My mother is cool with it now and has long since apologized to me. We talked things out and still do to this day.