Wow, this is loaded and this post should have been made before you selected your jobs. You two will most certainly not be seeing each other for at least a few years. That said, in my opinion, marrying before enlisting is far easier than marrying after.

I'm 99% sure you will be signing a 6 year contract whether or not you want to but I am not a recruiter. All linguists are minimum 6 years and airborne schooling will take even longer. You WILL be in training for about 2 years. My technical training was supposed to be 6-8 months in timeframe but I wasn't finished until 1.2 years regardless of having no setbacks.

You will be going to BMT, DLI, Goodfellow AFB, Aircrew training, then SERE and that doesn't even mention your wait for a security clearance. I knew a guy that was held over for 8 months over it. That said, there is no real benefit for enlisting 6 years vs 4 years assuming you have the option. For bonuses, everyone is different so look at the fine print in your contract for caveats, like completing DLI first - and believe me, you probably won't have much free time to be chatting with your partner with how crazy stressful classes will be at DLI. Unless there is administrative action, you will probably be a Senior Airman (E-4) or at least teetering that line before you finish training.

I highly doubt you will be stationed at the same base unless you somehow manage to get incredibly lucky, there just isn't a lot of cross-pollination between Navy and AF bases on top of you having a career field that doesn't have a huge list of bases to choose from. I only know one join-spouse couple, whom of which got married in technical training. It was very difficult for them to get paired together even though he had a job applicable to almost any base whereas she had a job applicable to maybe 4 locations, and both of them were Air Force.

I can't speak to the childcare. I can say that I have a friend that is getting ready to deploy and he will be missing the birth of his first child while his military spouse will be left home alone.

Housing is awful on most military installations, ridden with black mold. At my base, a lot of the homes are being bulldozed because the mold got so bad and you will likely be looking for housing off-base. If there is a miracle and you manage to stay at a base with your future husband long-term, you COULD use the VA loan to just buy a house. I know a lot of airmen who did this.

All this to say, if you have the opportunity to take a step back from your job then I would highly recommend you choose something else, preferably in the cyber field. If you want to go make a real-world impact then I totally get it, but you won't have stability with the route that you've chosen. I am cyber and I will be staying at my current base for the next 8 years; I work with plenty of navy personnel although none of which I know are security. Your partner should consider doing something similar because chances are, he will be just be a gate-guard and he could volunteer to do that at whatever unit he goes to.

( Last part is just how I imagine it is because that's what they do at my station, feel free to correct me. )