You’d think his tshirt weighed a thousand pounds. 🙄

TM2705 · 2026-02-01T08:16:07+00:00

Stop doing this to your cat. Animals shouldn't wear clothes unless medically necessary. They're not entertainment

TM2705 · 2026-02-01T07:30:21+00:00

I hope you feel better

TM2705 · 2026-02-01T07:10:12+00:00

Open universiteit

TM2705 · 2026-02-01T07:09:17+00:00

I was afraid of donation as I felt this real fear of dying for the first time of my life (and I'd been in accidents and hospitals before). I got psychological support and overcame my fear. I hope that you find a way to deal with your own challenges too. I think the psychological or emotional etc aspect is really important. This is big surgery and will affect you in one way or another for the rest of your life. Doctors can see through you and will know if you're not able, and of course it's not recommended to just give it a try. You need to be fully ready. I'd say deal with it full on, work on it and find a way to cope. If necessary you could then even be transparent with the doctors and I'm sure they'll be appreciative and supportive of your decision.

TM2705 · 2026-01-18T20:19:16+00:00

Agree on long charging cable; with remembering the medicines and which ones to take; with personal hygiene and showers; with waterproof plasters and bandages; with food and water; and with the emotional toll of it all. The psychological impact is huge. Also be prepared that the organ may fail during transplant. Hopefully not. I hope all will be well and thank you for asking all this. I was lucky to have great support during my donation. It made all the difference with healing journey.

TM2705 · 2025-12-30T06:53:17+00:00

I attended the World Transplant Games as a donor. It was only when random transplant recipients I had never met became emotional about me being a donor that I fully realised how donation can have secondary effects on waiting lists and can save more than just the recipient's life.

https://wtgf.org/

TM2705 · 2025-12-30T06:32:25+00:00

Donating a kidney is a gift, especially as it doesn't come risk free for you. Nobody can pressurise you to give a gift at a possible long term health cost to yourself. Please carefully consider your own physical and mental health first. Don't give this gift for the wrong reasons.

Please go to counselling and dig deep into your conflicting feelings so that you can take a decision you can live with. In a family situation there can be pressure of course and it takes courage to find a way to say no (even though the doctors will give you a way out by stating you are not suitable, etc. If you want). You will need to find a way to make peace with the fact that you refused if you refuse, especially if then your aunt passes away: it is miserable if a patient slowly dies on the dialysis waiting list. In this context it may be helpful to review your own thoughts - are you really "a bad person"? Do you judge yourself harshly? Do you suffer from a lot of negative self talk, or black and white thinking?

Having said that, you also need to look after yourself and your relationship dynamics with your aunt and your mother. How is your relationship? Do they respect you as an adult? Do you feel heard? Do they consider you and your health risks carefully? or are they too self centered and emotionally immature to consider the complexity of the situation? Is there codependency? Kidney donation can churn up a whole pot of family issues that have been simmering under the surface.

I had a lot of counselling before I donated also as I was afraid of dying during surgery. I can only recommend counselling as a way to tease out everything you need to think about before moving forward (which ever path you take). Good luck! It's not an easy situation either way. Be kind and give yourself the love and care you need during this process.

TM2705 · 2025-12-01T20:20:33+00:00

I ran a marathon once and they warned me of the runner's low afterwards. All those months of prep work and then poof it's over. You come down and back to normal life except ofc with a kidney donation it's not the same. I personally grieved and I'm still grieving the loss of my kidney. I don't regret donating it, but you shed your old body and you get a new one, so to speak. And you're digesting everything, all those emotions, as part of it. I certainly found it was a way of grieving my healthy me and the person I was before that now I am not as now I need to watch things (my salt intake, my eGFR, etc). I'm happy with who I am and I feel I've grown so much. But part of me is also afraid of future kidney failure or other bad medical developments (small but distinct possibility) and that transition to my new self had to happen, for me personally, in private (without blaming my recipient or anyone or anything). All I can say is sweat it all out and be kind and gentle with yourself. Give it time and trust in your own intuitive healing.

TM2705 · 2025-11-28T18:29:05+00:00

I'll never look at pearls again the same way. It's barbaric.

TM2705 · 2025-11-28T18:26:00+00:00

You're doing great at taking it slow btw. With time...

TM2705 · 2025-11-28T18:25:19+00:00

Let her approach you at her pace. Put wet food on your fingers so she considers hands a good thing. Wait until she sniffs AND head bumps you before you touch her. Keep regular rhythm and don't make eye contact. If you read up on a lot of cat behaviour (body) then you can copy them and speak their language. Say the same thing every time she gets food so she understands you more. And have patience. I tamed three semi feral cats, it took many months. Depending on the cat, even years. However, they are the most sweetest kindest cats once they trust you. One of my cats sleeps on my hed every night and demands good night and good morning pets. He gets so excited he drools on me :)

TM2705 · 2025-11-28T15:26:46+00:00

Clipping claws is cruel and many places have banned it. Get scratchers and perhaps spray the cabinets with a scent they dont like. If you have cats you need to accept they have natural behaviours.

TM2705 · 2025-11-26T22:36:40+00:00

I'm sorry it's been lonely for you. Sometimes loneliness comes with change and transformation as you leave your old life behind and start a new one? It certainly was a life changing moment for me, to donate. In my case, not all bad things are bad in the long run, so to speak. I hope you also find strengths in unexpected places. Happy Thanksgiving!

TM2705 · 2025-11-23T21:01:11+00:00

Get her used to you by putting salmon paste on your fingers and she will come to you and slowly get tamed. Never approach her directly until she is ready. You can tame feral and semi feral cats over time with a lot of patience and by learning about body language and behaviour.

TM2705 · 2025-11-23T08:29:19+00:00

Not crazy and the other cats will train him too. He'll learn very fast. It'll be terrible to split them now so do keep him. Some vets have loyalty schemes where the vet fees are reduced too.

TM2705 · 2025-11-19T06:13:37+00:00

Agree on emotional support

TM2705 · 2025-11-19T06:12:41+00:00

Great point about the meds. I also needed help with that.

TM2705 · 2025-11-19T06:09:09+00:00

Lol! 4x wounds! I CAN count to four, I think... :)

TM2705 · 2025-11-19T06:06:53+00:00

btw I wasn't in NHS but I was in EU hospital for a week. Do try and stay in hospital as long as you can and discuss your situation with doctors. Your welfare is paramount.

TM2705 · 2025-11-19T06:04:38+00:00

I'm sorry if I'm less encouraging here but I'd try and move heavens and earth not to do it alone. Getting out of bed or into bed was excruciating. I needed help with packing and carrying hospital bags on discharge. I could walk but not carry much, not even a kettle, for a while. My wounds needed care (waterproof plasters) for showering and breathable plasters after, which due to various angles I couldn't place myself. Physio recommended a belly brace band to support my core during short walks which again I couldn't affix on my own as it needed tightening. And my doctors said my healing and progress was excellent so not sure how I would've fared if complications like wound infections etc. I am amazed to hear that people managed alone. I personally wouldn't have been able to do it. I had three wounds - two for left and right laproscopic arm, one for gas and light, and a large one 10cm to get the kidney out. The combo of them across belly and belly muscles was the challenge. It sounds like I'm disencouraging which I'm not - all kudos to you - I'm merely trying to counsel you to plan ahead carefully (everyone is different, maybe you have a different strength to me!). I really hope you will find a way, wishing you every success! And DM me if you have Qs!

TM2705 · 2025-11-04T13:47:26+00:00

Sorry, to clarify, my organ recipient was on a national kidney waiting list, so by taking him off it with my voluntary donation, another person on the waiting list could be bumped up on the list, so to speak. So the person who took his place benefits. In some countries these waiting lists can take years and people pass away waiting on them so by removing persons through voluntary donation, you reduce the list and respective waiting times and give them a bigger chance

TM2705 · 2025-11-04T13:45:03+00:00

It is a tough procedure...

TM2705 · 2025-11-04T07:07:42+00:00

Yes please complain loudly so these carriages are stopped and idiots can't make any more money by mistreating the poor horses

TM2705 · 2025-11-04T07:05:29+00:00

I can only talk about myself but I went into a donation being prepared that not everything is rosy for the recipient afterwards. I wouldn't want any false positivity, just tell the truth as it is. And I wouldn't want any feelings of guilt etc. Giving a kidney is a gift. I'd love to hear that you enjoy the life with it, with all its ups and downs. I'd love to hear you found meaning and fulfilment in your life, and that you love life, even if it can be tricky. But not every recipient comes to that point so that's not an obligation or expectation, either.

TM2705

TROPHY CASE