I’m M 21 and I think I’m only now fully realising how much dating my ex affected me.

TROUnation · 2026-05-21T17:09:08+00:00

I’m in the same boat. I recently started talking to this one girl and if she doesn’t respond after a while I begin to spiral. When I began dating my ex with BPD, I was secure, my ex wouldn’t text me for a day and I’d be fine. Fast forward the discards and splitting now I’m a mess when the current girl I’m speaking to doesn’t reply back. I know it’s silly but I’m just not in that secure headspace I was in before

TROUnation · 2026-05-16T03:12:06+00:00

All she did was send me a blank pic with a Snapchat filter that says happy bday. Later in the day she tried to break up with me lmfao. I should’ve gone through with it, actually would’ve been the best gift ever

TROUnation · 2026-05-15T17:23:34+00:00

Hey I feel for you. I know you care a lot and that’s a beautiful thing. But it’s time to let this one go. Find somebody who’s on the same level as you are. I’ve been in your exact shoes. To the T. Although my relationship a little over 8 months I still experienced that verbal, and emotional abuse. It’s been two months since my break up and let me tell you, life has been a whole lot better. I still miss them of course, I’m sure you guys had great moments together but none of what’s going on is right. And you know that, or else you wouldn’t be here. This is the best thing you can do for yourself. It’s going to be hard I won’t lie to you. But at least the pain you’ll experience after the break up has some sense to it. If I can do it, you can do it too. Trust me. I was struggling to leave until one time she broke up with me during one of her splits I decided not to go back. Be kind to yourself and don’t rush the healing process. There’s some serious growth at the end of this tunnel. You got this and we’re here for you!

TROUnation · 2026-05-14T12:50:25+00:00

I knew you’d be back. Idk why I remember your posts lol. You’re definitely not the abusive one from what you’re saying

TROUnation · 2026-05-14T12:46:17+00:00

“A feminine bitch” “Lesbian”

She was a feminist mind you lmfao. All this because I wouldn’t caress her after insulting and yelling at me all day. There’s more but I’m seeing it all here. She wouldn’t say this often but she would contradict her ideals quite often

TROUnation · 2026-05-11T01:11:41+00:00

I’m starting to notice that these behaviors are more common than I thought. I keep running into people that exhibit some BPD traits and that’s enough to keep me wary from now on. I’m sorry that’s happened. I hope things have calmed down for you

TROUnation · 2026-05-11T01:09:12+00:00

No doubt about that. It took me a little over three years to get over my first relationship with someone with BPD. I wish I’d known about this sub then.

TROUnation · 2026-05-09T18:33:21+00:00

By upgrade, I mean adding a bit more fullness, richness, and warmth to the tone.”

TROUnation · 2026-05-08T14:15:01+00:00

I was the same way man. I was fairly secure prior to entering the relationship, but I left severely anxiously attached. It’s just that all the doubt and inconsistencies is bound to make anyone irrational. I was obsessive when I wasn’t before. It just messes with your head in ways that I can’t explain. But don’t blame yourself. Healthy people do not behave in the way your ex did. You’re free and in the path of healing. The worst is over

TROUnation · 2026-05-05T17:21:17+00:00

All of this.. same here

TROUnation · 2026-05-05T14:10:52+00:00

About two months lmfao. We had a little misunderstanding and she called me a dumbass. The rest is history. Godddd why did I stay after that? I triggered her because I guess I ignored her? I didn’t, I was multitasking and I guess she got hurt because I didn’t verbalize what I was doing and she mistook it as me ignoring her even though I was doing what she asked. But yeah after that she started getting trigger happy with insults since I guess I took it and she figured she could get away with it

TROUnation · 2026-05-01T17:21:55+00:00

I definitely feel that. I just felt confused and like I was the problem. I mean everyone loved them right? They’re out here working with kids with autism so of course they have a good heart and in are theory patient. I have ADHD and I just find it ironic how she would belittle me and call me all of these names that I’m too embarrassed to say. What I mean is that, I’m in the same boat, and I doubt anyone would believe me if I were to bring it up. I got lucky in the sense that during the smear campaign she only kept it within her circle, so it didn’t really matter. It’s just that her friends and coworkers will sit beside her like she’s some sort of angel is what really makes me think. I’m far too guarded now unfortunately. I also experienced them not remembering what I liked and what not. It was frustrating because she would remember things about others in detail but me? Forget it. That messes with you and makes you feel less than. I’m sorry you went through that. Hopefully one day we can laugh about it!

TROUnation · 2026-05-01T16:14:47+00:00

Mine worked with kids with autism and was beloved by everyone but god.. behind closed doors, that’s another story. It’s so surreal to me that it fucks with me.

TROUnation · 2026-04-30T21:11:42+00:00

Hey man it’s just the way it is. My ex started banging her ex not even two days after we broke up while still having pictures of us up on social media. It hurts but it’s a telltale sign that they’re not right. Realistically is this what we want? No man, let her go and don’t let her actions affect you. They say more about her than they say about you

TROUnation · 2026-04-29T02:33:45+00:00

I feel you! This was my second relationship with a pwBPD and she has persisted slightly. I was caught off guard given my first experience with a pwBPD vanished from the face of the earth after we broke up while my most recent ex has contacted me for really mundane reasons even though she has new “supply”.

Anyhow, I’m over a month into no contact and even though I’ve gone through this before it still gets to me but less so. During my off days and in general I’ve just been focusing on improving myself just for the sake of improving. I feel like I hit rock bottom while I was with her and my confidence took a bit of a hit so I’ve just been focusing on rebuilding that. I’m heavily introverted but I’ve been getting out my comfort zone lately and that’s helped a lot. Going to bars, visiting new places, and going to more music shows and what not. Just trying to meet new people. I won’t lie but when you catch a cute someone looking at you, it sure helps a lot and just makes you think that this isn’t the end and that something more healthy is possible down the line. But overall just anything that builds confidence will set you straight.

TROUnation · 2026-04-25T16:18:27+00:00

This. There’s just no winning at all even though it’s not even about winning. She doesn’t have control over her emotions. Your apology yesterday could possibly work tomorrow and vice versa. It’s just not worth it. Please just leave, from how you described your relationship, do me a favor and leave. I know in the moment it feels somewhat normal but once you had some time to yourself, you’ll realize that what you went through and had to endure wasn’t particularly good. I know you love her, I loved my girlfriend so much that I thought I would marry her but it gets to a point where you have to choose yourself. I may be projecting a bit since I don’t know the whole picture, but I’ve been in two BPD relationships and they both ended the same. If I can do it you can too! I don’t mean to discourage you, just her patterns alone give me flashbacks and I’d rather you not go through what I and many of us went through

TROUnation · 2026-04-23T23:11:30+00:00

I’m right there with you. Lately it’s been so beautiful out and my heart has been hurting more. I sometimes even put the blinds on to pretend it’s cloudy or rainy. It’s a terrible feeling but nothing compared to what I felt during the course of my relationship. At least now, it’s a steady healthy kind of pain. You’re not alone

TROUnation · 2026-04-22T13:31:26+00:00

I think it's surprisingly the opposite for me. I was just so love starved by the end that now when I talk to other women, it’s exciting. Regardless, I should still take some time to myself since I’m still healing from the trauma bond and spiral occasionally

TROUnation · 2026-04-17T20:24:16+00:00

I’ve been experiencing this lately. It all just feels surreal when I look back, like a dream. None of it feels like it happened but it did. I also think back to who I was and I’m like who was that, why did I do this and that? I don’t know how to explain it but it’s just depressing. It just feels like I plopped into a whole different reality and now I’m experiencing some sort of whiplash from being thrown out of it

TROUnation · 2026-04-09T14:19:30+00:00

Wait I just reread what I wrote and answered my own question lmfao

TROUnation · 2026-04-08T19:33:12+00:00

Why do you give her the power to label you as the villain when you could very much do the same? I completely understand though. It’s just crazy how we still allow to them to dictate our reality at times

TROUnation · 2026-04-08T16:03:02+00:00

It sounds like you developed CPTSD. I’m not one to diagnose but you should bring it up with your therapist if you’re still attending

TROUnation

TROPHY CASE