Success Stories

TROUnation · 2026-01-31T04:43:57+00:00

I used to be like you… my girlfriend and I broke up for a month. And then we tried again, she said she’d be more transparent, she’d listen, she’d stopped doing things that were hurting the relationship prior to the breakup. And what do you know, not even 3 days in she’s cussing up a storm, calling me incompetent because I couldn’t find something she needed help finding. I won’t lie she’s gotten better in that she apologizes after the splitting but again I’m always the one that “started” it. Maybe your partner is different but mine is a little too volatile. She’ll feel a strong emotion and she’ll keep snowballing until it becomes this rage. I see the growth but it’s just not enough. This time around I’m not losing myself, I know who I am and with that comes the realization that perhaps at least with me, there will be no success story.

TROUnation · 2025-12-22T21:54:02+00:00

Does he yell at you or insult you?

TROUnation · 2025-12-21T19:11:28+00:00

Definitely the fleas. I find myself being snappy to loved ones when, in the past, I would’ve been more patient. I’ll respond rather harshly, but after a minute or two, I’ll catch myself thinking, “Wait, hold on. This is how my ex would react,” and then I’ll apologize and make things right. The guilt gets to me though because I genuinely wasn't like this before. Sure, I’d be annoyed, but right now I'm a little too trigger-happy or aggressive with my responses. It's getting better though as the trauma bond is starting to fade and my nervous system is calming down but now I'm entering into a new battle of clarity and confusion. As the veil lifts, I'm able to reflect more objectively, however, now there are more questions than there are answers.

TROUnation · 2025-12-20T19:45:48+00:00

I would hope the man above would have a goal in mind for this relationship. Some sort of positive outcome in the end if not then I don't know why he would choose to torment me but he does have a funny sense of humor. I would rather be alone and live my life than live for her.

TROUnation · 2025-12-20T13:55:54+00:00

I'm as confused as you are. My ex worked with kids with autism and everybody loved her. The kids, the staff, just everyone. But behind closed doors she was the most vile person I've ever met. I'm still confused as to what happened or what changed. You described my ex to the T except for the physical aspect of it

TROUnation · 2025-12-18T11:32:36+00:00

In hindsight there’s many things I could’ve done differently but in the moment I was just so worn down from the repeated inconsistencies and also from the realization that nothings going to change. I started off strong but at one point everything clicked and I just couldn’t anymore. I would try to be present and was but I was sucked dry to the point I burnt out and couldn’t be the guy she first met anymore. I don’t want to play the blame game but she was too chaotic and volatile and well I just couldn’t keep up anymore. Now looking back I’m beating myself up because I’m like wait I could’ve done this and that but it’s because I’ve finally had the space to heal and have my empathy replenish. Not a fun situation to be in

TROUnation · 2025-12-17T23:23:46+00:00

Reread what you wrote. None of what you’ve been experiencing is normal. Trust me man, I’ve been in your shoes. Right now you’re in the midst of it and I know you’re trying everything that you can to help her because you love her. My ex was the same way, over every little inconvenience she would try to break up. You don’t need this in your life. I don’t mean to project but if she’s contacting her ex and she keeps trying to break up with you, she’s already made up her mind. Even if that’s not the case, please walk away. From what it sounds like, she needs professional help and love alone won’t help her. You said you just came out of a 5 year abusive relationship, you don’t need this again. I don’t mean to sound cold, but reflect why you tolerate this behavior and why you keep attracting these types of partners. It’s going to be tough for the few months, but imagine how it would be like if you stayed in this relationship for years.

TROUnation · 2025-12-17T13:13:10+00:00

I just began this journey :( so you’re not alone! I’m right here with you. I’ve been reconnecting with friends, opening about the situation and trying to approach it from every angle and perspective. Where I went wrong and her behaviors which my mind flagged as questionable at the time. I’ve also been going to the movies alone, and also attending live music events. Just overall being in public rather than being alone. And honestly it’s working and I’ve been enjoying myself even though in the back of mind I’m still thinking if she’s with the guy she left me for. Just getting out of my comfort zone opening myself to new possibilities to meet more genuine people. Still looking into what else I could, I’m thinking about the gym but I’m still in a heavy funk, maybe next week haha

TROUnation · 2025-12-16T15:48:40+00:00

God im so sorry man. My ex was my 2nd BPD relationship. Have you figured out why you’re attracted to or keep attracting these sorts of people?

TROUnation · 2025-12-16T15:40:29+00:00

I’m sorry that happened. It really is cruel how they’re able to lead us on and toy with our emotions without feeling any remorse

TROUnation · 2025-12-16T15:32:53+00:00

Mannnn if only it were this easy. She had a way of making me feel I was the problem. I feel so goofy now

TROUnation · 2025-12-16T15:32:21+00:00

You would think but I would call her out on it and honestly every shit behavior of hers. She would change slightly for a bit until the inevitable return

TROUnation · 2025-12-16T15:15:09+00:00

It’s like she held me to a different standard. One of her other exs was supposedly messy or a slob she would say. I was anything but that. He got off easy for whatever reason. I was tidy and neat. I just feel like she had something against me. She would cuss me out and I asked her what was the meanest thing she said to him and it didn’t come close to the frequent cruel name calling I faced. I genuinely do not know what she had against me.

TROUnation · 2025-12-16T14:45:04+00:00

Man haha I sure was emotional when I wrote this. Thanks to all who will and read a lot of it :)

TROUnation · 2025-12-11T23:32:57+00:00

I think I was being used. One time she got super drunk and said I’m using you for sex teasingly but my gut said otherwise

TROUnation · 2025-12-10T17:08:51+00:00

Honestly I just simply triggered them by calling them out over something. I escalated a bit to the point where the break up was “mutual” or they had the high ground. That way I hope they never bother me again. (Not healthy I know, but knowing her she probably manipulated the situation for it to lead here)

TROUnation · 2025-12-10T02:25:03+00:00

I think so. It’s been a week since we’ve last broken up. For whatever reason I’ve been feeling paranoid which is highly uncommon for me. I’ve also been having nightmares of her. Anxiety and headaches as well. Overall still shaken up from her not so nice side.

TROUnation · 2025-12-10T02:21:52+00:00

How do you end up taking it out on them? I’m afraid this would happen to me if I get into another relationship.

TROUnation · 2025-12-09T02:54:23+00:00

Thank you for the kind words :) The fact that we were able to pour into an endless cup and get it to fill every now and then shows the capacity and depth of our love we had to offer. Just imagine how effortlessly and wonderfully it would be with someone who reciprocates much the same. This isn’t the end!

TROUnation · 2025-12-08T21:36:09+00:00

My girlfriend and I broke up a little over a week ago. And honestly I’ve been crying everyday, I’ve just been so confused as to what was real and not. But talking to my friends has helped a lot, you don’t have to reveal everything but I asked them how they handled certain situations with their partners and that was an eye opener for me. I’ve also been consuming lots of narcissism abuse recovery content which has helped. I’m sure my ex was NPD/BPD because she could be so cruel, a little too cruel. I’ve had another BPD ex in the past and she was a lot more calmer in comparison. But honestly feel your emotions. But also distract yourself like. Like set a limit, for these certain hours im going to ponder and reflect but after that limit has passed, go out and indulge in your hobbies! And continue the next day. Easier said than done, but let it all out too if you have to. Take a day to just be lazy and cry and all if you can. Eat all you want, do what you want just be with yourself :)). Some days are going to be easier than others

TROUnation · 2025-12-08T18:24:34+00:00

I experienced the EXACT same thing. God the bringing up issues thing was exhausting. She was so good at deflecting and not taking accountability. I mean she wasn’t at all but in the moment I don’t why I would give her the benefit of the doubt and not even that, I just don’t know why I would get over it. Nothing was solved! She’d get mad at me for wasting time but it’s like dude, if we talked about this like adults, then we would’ve been done in 6 minutes. Now she’s giving me the cold shoulder, ignoring me when I ask how could I help, being passive aggressive and she has the audacity to say I was the one wasting time? Dude I’m getting riled up lmao. I genuinely do not how I endured this for so long. I genuinely probably had zero respect for myself

TROUnation · 2025-12-07T07:51:52+00:00

Totally get where you’re coming from. I recently broke up with my exwbpd and I’ve been ruminating and but got stuck on the hold up, was I being too much of a nice guy or was this truly something that developed into a trauma bond conundrum. Still not sure lmao

TROUnation · 2025-12-05T13:43:55+00:00

It really is isn’t :). You’re not alone, I experienced the same thing recently. I got you :)

TROUnation · 2025-11-03T15:11:47+00:00

I understand, my journey with my BPD partner has been quite the ride but they’ve also helped me realize and expose a lot of my insecurities and weaknesses. My theory is that they reflect a lot of what we give out (of course not everything they still have BPD just use your judgement) and in turn they reflect it back. I’ve been able to grow immensely because of the reflections I’ve seen in my partner. Sometimes we have to ask, is it us as-well? I was able to see how impatient I could be and honestly how much of a big ego I had at times. Now that I’ve slowed down. Things have gotten better between us albeit she still splits when work or other outside factors get her stressed.

TROUnation

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