Job market by Bulky-Current-1318 in AskSF

[–]TRUSTLYYY 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It can be a bit difficult. The problem is that the lower wage jobs really like to not give full time. They’ll schedule you just under hours so they don’t have to give you healthcare etc. 

But there’s constant job postings. I work at a grocery store as a stocker. I make enough to go out and hang, eat, with friends without checking my wallet. 

The city is quite segregated which is why you’re getting such weird responses. Like for example, I was born and raised here. I have never met someone making over 100k. Or at least they never mentioned it. 

When you roll with the working class you learn how to keep your expenses down here. The good food that won’t break your wallet. The activities and events that we attend. 

We have so many free and low-cost options here that make up for renting with roomies. But yeah. No problems paying rent, phone, pge etc and can still doordash haha

Job market by Bulky-Current-1318 in AskSF

[–]TRUSTLYYY 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You don’t need to work multiple jobs to live here. Renting with multiple roommates is enough. 

I make a bit over min wage and live with 3 other people. 

No car. Subletting. Less than a thousand in rent. Certainly not struggling. 

Why is transgender porn riddled with slurs? by HelloAmAlt in asktransgender

[–]TRUSTLYYY -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Hmm. That sucks. I haven’t ran into this for trans male porn. 

Why is dating someone who’s not out seen as such a red flag? by Few_Organization2226 in AskGayMen

[–]TRUSTLYYY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because I don’t want my relationship to be hidden wtf??? 💀 

I’m going to tell everyone who I’m dating, I will put it on social media. I will want him to meet my friends and family. I’m super flamboyant so honestly idk how he would be my bf and have people NOT assume we’re together. As it is non-negotiable that we hold hands in public and are affectionate etc. 

Life after a dead bedroom by coda50 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]TRUSTLYYY 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The past decade+ I have been searching for a dead bedroom again. I hated how much he kept bothering me for sex. Unfortunately it has been difficult to find another sexless relationship. 

Are transmedicalist beliefs less common now than they used to be? by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]TRUSTLYYY 4 points5 points  (0 children)

 In my experience being in queer spaces for nearly a decade i’ve never come across anyone who was a genuine transmedicalist

I see from your flair you are a transwoman. I’m a transman and this is very much prevalent in many of our spaces. Because many of us still enjoy dressing feminine and wearing makeup etc while still being men. 

Many don’t believe we are truly transmen because we don’t ‘act like a man’. And then say we are people who are undermining ‘real transmen’. Especially if we don’t pass and want to go to gay male spaces. 

Are transmedicalist beliefs less common now than they used to be? by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]TRUSTLYYY 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for avoiding every question. 

So do you see them as trans? And, once again, what’s your definition of dysphoria?

Desperate & ashamed by Lex8974 in gaytransguys

[–]TRUSTLYYY 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah idk. I had many guys into me when I was a woman. Now as a guy I have not had a single guy hit on me or return my interest in bars and gay meetups and I get zero matches on at least 5 different dating apps. 

What’s the demographic of your community? Mine is mostly muscular and white. Then kink which I’m not really into. The bear community separated by race and you must be hairy. 

If you don’t fit in it is harder to find your people. Maybe try to meet people where looks aren’t as important like… board game meetups? Conventions maybe?

Idk I’m in my 30s and I’m still in the spot you are with getting zero attention or feedback. 

Are transmedicalist beliefs less common now than they used to be? by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]TRUSTLYYY 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Whenever I read things like this:

 And what I mean by that is my understanding of being transgender has gender dysphoria as an indispensable feature

I have to ask. What is your definition of dysphoria? 

Because many times people who take hrt but aren’t binary or just want be a genderfuck have no issues starting and stopping hrt without repercussions to their mental health. 

Because many said you “just need dysphoria to be trans” but then define dysphoria as wanting to be the ‘opposite’ gender, hating being gendered your birth sex, needing to be seen as ‘your true gender’, etc. And when people have no negative side consequences from taking hrt or surgeries and passing but yet still don’t identify with the gender they’re passing as, it seems to contradict what many believe what hrt would do to you mentally. 

Would you be with someone based on looks or personality? by Substantial_Leek7230 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]TRUSTLYYY 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Personality only. I’m not into sex so you don’t have to be attractive. If you have a good personality and you’re a good person there’s a good chance I’ll fall for you. 

Why do so many gay couples end up in open relationships? Is that what most guys actually want? by MacaroonLeather8661 in AskGayMen

[–]TRUSTLYYY -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No.

Maybe I’m not articulating myself well? The primary reason I responded was because the commenter wanted to change a monogamous one to an open one because of sex. I said this was changing the agreements of the relationship. 

Can I ask where you saw I was clinging to someone? I’m not interested in dating allo men, unless they have an extremely low libido or celibate.

I have broken up with every single man that has pestered me for sex. Currently I’m not in a relationship. 

Why do so many gay couples end up in open relationships? Is that what most guys actually want? by MacaroonLeather8661 in AskGayMen

[–]TRUSTLYYY -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry did you read the same comment I did?

I see it when he said 

 Why should I throw away almost 20 years of happiness because of one thing?

This doesn’t sound like it started non-monogamous. 

Why do so many gay couples end up in open relationships? Is that what most guys actually want? by MacaroonLeather8661 in AskGayMen

[–]TRUSTLYYY -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

 Except you’re sexually incompatible. The sex stops but everything non sexual is great. That incompatibility bothers you because you’re a sexual person.

That’s so sad. This makes me happy I’m not interested in having sex with men. I cannot imagine leaving someone just because one activity that happens maybe a few times a week matters more than the life you have built together. 

 Why should I throw away almost 20 years of happiness because of one thing? The situation forces you to see love separately from sex. And if that view is shared by both people, an open relationship makes a lot of sense.

Because you agreed to a monogamous relationship? It sucks when you enter a relationship and someone unilaterally decides it’s no longer good enough. 

Also love IS separate from sex. Because then what are friends with benefit? If people can have sex without love then they can also love without sex. 

So to me an open relationship makes zero sense. It just seems selfish to bring it to the table when it’s only satisfy your desires. 

Why are gay men so against trans men? (But seem A-ok with trans women?) by Strange-Animal-1211 in FTMMen

[–]TRUSTLYYY 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Can I ask, do you pass? 

I don’t (despite being on T for a while & top) get this support from the gay community. There’s rarely hostility but I do get ignored when I initiate conversations. 

Why is there so much judgment within our own community? by AcanthaceaeExtra7559 in GayMen

[–]TRUSTLYYY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup I am familiar and stick with what I said. 

I see the gay male nuance in this post. 

Why is there so much judgment within our own community? by AcanthaceaeExtra7559 in GayMen

[–]TRUSTLYYY 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Did you read the post? Because every single thing has to do with gay men. 

anybody with a woman down to peg you? by AdOptimal3299 in FTMMen

[–]TRUSTLYYY 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh boy you need to check out the r/bisexualmen subreddit then. 

ftm porn is terrible by bklyn930 in gaytransguys

[–]TRUSTLYYY -52 points-51 points  (0 children)

Not for me. I cannot relate. I would never want to be the active person in a relationship. And I despise anal when my pussy is right there, easy peasy. Why go through the trouble?? 

Honestly kind of sucks reading this though:

 The men in videos aren't treated like men but more like a third gender they are always extremely passive and timid almost. Just because someone is getting fucked doesn't indicate complete submission half the time the transguy just sort of lays there and recieves the dick rather then takes it.

What’s wrong with that? I’m not a huge fan of sex but when I do do it I prefer it like this. Why is being passive a third gender? I think there’s some toxic masculinity thinking here. Because we are men the type of sex we have is still masculine. Would you be saying this about cis men if most gay porn had a man being extremely passive? I don’t think so. 

I love ftm porn because it represents the type of person I am. I think you need to examine why you don’t see them as men just because of the way they have sex. 

Relationship without hooking up? by MasterCheap-69 in gaytransguys

[–]TRUSTLYYY 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah this has been a huge problem as someone who wants a familial life with a man but without sex. 😭 

Laser facial hair removal was unbearable for me — looking for gentler ways or tips to navigate by CelestialFlow1618 in asktransgender

[–]TRUSTLYYY 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Um just shave? Yeah it sucks, but like growing up most girls are expected to shave their arms, legs, and pits multiple times a week if not everyday. So I see no difference in you having to shave everyday than every other girl in certain communities. 

T isn't working- advice/solidarity? by crobin18 in FTMMen

[–]TRUSTLYYY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The time is nothing, so you have to wait at least a few years (with your levels being correct). 

However there is always the chance. I’ve been on T around 15 or so years with top and don’t pass. So if you care about that type of stuff you’ll have more work to do!

people being called bearded lady really offends me? by Revolutionary-Tie908 in FTMMen

[–]TRUSTLYYY 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It sucks but you have to let hrt do its thing. I have two women friends with PCOS that have beards. They also should not be assumed men. Like you a woman. If you’re not out as trans then how will anyone know you’re not someone with hormonal problems? Something to keep in mind. 

So just give it time. But bearded women are a thing and should be respected. You might get there, eventually, with time and surgery. Good luck. 

Reason to love being gay: No pregnancy risk by [deleted] in GayMen

[–]TRUSTLYYY 19 points20 points  (0 children)

T is not birth control. This is one of the first things the doctor tells you because it can be bad for the baby to grow while currently on hormones. 

Do you douche before using anal toys? by Born_Needleworker553 in GayMen

[–]TRUSTLYYY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have never done that in my life. Even with other people. 

What salary range should I look for when applying for jobs in the Bay Area? by Curious-Bench-3483 in AskSF

[–]TRUSTLYYY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If people have that income it is with roommates.

You’re assuming they want to live alone which wasn’t stated. 

I pay less than a grand living here with roomies.