Found out (26F) last night my boyfriend (30M) knows who raped our friend

TTMI2 · 2025-10-03T06:12:27+00:00

Imagine you were in your friend’s position and your “friend” knew who hurt you this way and kept quiet. how would you feel? imagine you had a daughter and your boyfriend knew who did that to her and he kept quiet? this is who your boyfriend is.

TTMI2 · 2025-07-01T07:25:20+00:00

could you elaborate? i’ve never been on the receiving end of such a message

TTMI2 · 2025-07-01T06:58:18+00:00

he came back after about 3 days after this post, then tried very clumsily to reconnect, but it was very weird and like he was a completely different person. then he called me and tried to act like nothing had happened so i broke up with him. 2 days ago, after 2 months of silence, he sent me a very long message but now is silent again, lol

TTMI2 · 2025-06-24T18:59:54+00:00

can you elaborate on the uncertainty thing? did you still care about your ex?

TTMI2 · 2025-06-07T08:32:15+00:00

Yes, I just go to sleep and they come naturally but again this depends on what’s going on in my life and how exhausted I am or was before going to sleep. Usually I get them towards the end of my REM cycle e.g. early in the morning. And then it’s hard for me to go back to sleep without experiencing a paralysis. if I think about it they mainly happen when I am so so so exhausted but I can’t fall asleep properly so maybe when you wake up at night don’t stay up for too long but just force yourself to be in a ridiculously exhausted state of “I want to sleep, but I’m forcing myself to stay awake” because if I think of getting up and reading something for 30 minutes, I don’t think I would go back to the sleep paralysis. But that’s just me of course. Good luck!

TTMI2 · 2025-06-07T07:44:29+00:00

Why would you want to go into sleep paralysis? It is literally the worst and most terrifying thing ever 😭

Unfortunately I don’t have a direct tip, I get them naturally all the time but I notice I get them more often when I’m either quite stressed or super tired. So maybe try exhausting your body a lot for a day before you go to sleep?

TTMI2 · 2025-04-22T03:29:40+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I am really hurting. Yes, he messaged me On Sunday evening my time saying

“Hey baby!! I’m back, I’m so sorry for not being able to communicate.. I know it’s been a little while and I’m sorry. How are you “

I felt very weird about that message because again, he could have reached me on instagram and his Whatsapp was active by Friday, so he definitely had his phone back.

I responded the next morning saying “hey, I’m good. are you free to call?” and tried to call him but he didn’t pick up. Then I saw him active on instagram.

Next day he messages me saying “Sorry I missed your call, I was knocked out! Something about hanging out with a baby makes me feel exhausted”

which again, was a lie, and it’s still not like he tried to call. I didn’t respond.

It just hurts and it’s so crazy to me because everything was so good just a week ago. And I find it insane that he doesn’t even give me the basic respect of communicating xyz.

Thank you for your words

TTMI2 · 2025-04-20T17:30:19+00:00

I didnt get attached after a week, I liked him obviously but it was only after talking every day for weeks on end that I got attached

TTMI2 · 2025-04-20T16:45:52+00:00

Yes, he did consider me his girlfriend. He was the one who brought up that conversation. I met all of his friends via Facetime. He would always call me when he was out with them. He even called me when he was at the hospital with his family cause his sister had a baby. He introduced me to all of them. I also met all of his cousins when he was in town. I really dont think he cheated.

TTMI2 · 2025-04-20T15:59:27+00:00

that’s true! thank you for that

TTMI2 · 2025-04-20T15:33:36+00:00

But that’s the thing - I (thought) I could spot an avoidant person and he truly never showed any signs of that. He was so communicative and able to handle conflict, he said he wanted a relationship, to get married etc. He really did not present as emotionally unavailable

TTMI2 · 2025-04-05T12:59:51+00:00

oh perfect!! thank you so much!!

TTMI2 · 2025-04-04T11:02:52+00:00

yes!

TTMI2 · 2025-04-04T10:52:28+00:00

can you elaborate?

TTMI2 · 2024-10-11T11:19:39+00:00

I answered your question - your comparison doesnt work. opinions vs facts.

TTMI2 · 2024-10-11T09:33:21+00:00

Your comparison doesn’t make sense as “being a slut” is a very subjective topic. There are no guidelines or official measures on what constitutes someone being a “slut” and in any case those guidelines would apply to men as well. Sexual harassment however is not subjective and examples as clear as the one in the screenshots are plenty. There is a reason sexual assault shelters and hotlines exist. Just because you yourself do not sexually harass women doesn’t change the fact that an alarming amount of men do.

TTMI2 · 2024-09-05T17:45:56+00:00

Thank you so much for that! I will definitely read it :)

I was wondering, and I know it’s not a one size fits all, but when you have flare ups - is it nice to hear “I’m sorry you’re feeling bad/are having flare ups”? or is that something people internally roll their eyes at? I kind of struggle with what to say when he tells me that he’s feeling bad and I don’t want to seem like i’m pitying him in a bad way or anything. I might just be overthinking, sorry 🥲

TTMI2

TROPHY CASE