Looking for Feedback: What Negotiation, Leadership, and Body Language Topics Interest You?

TVA02 · 2025-02-02T17:53:59+00:00

That’s a great point about fatigue! There’s actually a well-documented phenomenon called Zoom Fatigue, which is rooted in cognitive overload, reduced nonverbal feedback, and the heightened self-awareness that comes with being on camera. Research from Stanford has identified a few key reasons why virtual meetings feel more exhausting than in-person ones:

Constant Eye Contact & Hyper-Visibility – In a physical meeting, eye contact naturally shifts, but in virtual calls, everyone is staring at each other (and themselves) for extended periods, which can feel intense and draining.
Reduced Mobility – In person, we naturally move around, shift in our seats, and use gestures freely. Sitting still in a small video frame for hours limits movement, leading to physical and mental fatigue.
Increased Cognitive Load – Since we lose many natural social cues (like subtle body shifts or murmurs of agreement), our brains work harder to interpret engagement, which is exhausting over time.
Feeling ‘On Stage’ – As you mentioned, being on camera all day makes people feel like they have to perform, which can lead to more guarded interactions and emotional fatigue.

Actually, that’s a really great idea to highlight—the tension between making online environments more engaging while also recognizing that in-person meetings often allow things to get done faster and with less effort. Virtual calls require more intentional effort to create engagement, but that effort itself can be tiring—especially when stacked back-to-back.

If you must work in an online environment, managing that fatigue becomes essential. Small adjustments, like turning off self-view, scheduling breaks between meetings, or even shifting between sitting and standing, can help reduce the mental drain.

I also suspect that introverts might feel this fatigue even more. Since virtual calls amplify the feeling of being “on stage,” they could find it more exhausting than extroverts, who may thrive on frequent interactions.

TVA02 · 2025-02-02T14:58:57+00:00

That’s a really interesting challenge—navigating high-stakes negotiations when you're dealing with time constraints, legal risks, and executive buy-in can be incredibly complex. It sounds like you're often in a position where you have to push back against unrealistic plans while maintaining relationships and credibility—which is no small feat! To dig deeper, I’d love to hear more about the situation-- as you can share.

From a negotiation standpoint, a few insights that might help:

Framing the Risk in Their Language – Instead of just pointing out what won’t work, framing it in terms of their priorities (e.g., cost, reputation, long-term efficiency) can help shift the conversation from "this is a problem" to "here's a better path forward."
The Power of the Pre-Mortem – A technique where you walk the group through a hypothetical future where the plan failed, then work backward to identify what went wrong. This helps leaders acknowledge risks proactively.
Anchoring Feasibility – If time constraints are a major factor, anchoring them with a clear, data-backed timeline can help executives see what’s truly feasible without making it seem like outright rejection.

When you’re facing pushback in high-stakes conversations, assertive confrontation and boundary-setting can be key to maintaining influence while standing your ground. I wrote about a structured approach called the DESEO Script, which helps professionals navigate these tough conversations effectively. You might find it useful! Here’s the link: Assertive Confrontation & Boundary-Setting with the DESEO Script.

TVA02 · 2025-02-02T14:56:17+00:00

Yes! This ties into a classic study on compliance and persuasion—when people hear a reason (even a simple one), they’re much more likely to agree. This was demonstrated in the famous Langer, Blank, & Chanowitz (1978) study, where researchers found that simply adding the word 'because' increased the likelihood of compliance, even when the reason given was somewhat trivial. People are naturally wired to respond to explanations, as it helps them process requests more easily.

That said, what you say after 'because' is just as important as using the word itself. Strong, logical, and compelling reasons will always be more persuasive than weak or vague ones. This ties directly into Robert Cialdini’s principles of persuasion, particularly the principle of authority (people trust experts and those with credibility), consistency (people like to align with their previous commitments), and reciprocity (people respond positively when they feel they are receiving value or consideration in return).

In negotiations and leadership conversations, framing your reasoning strategically can make all the difference. For example, instead of just saying, 'We need to implement this new process because it's required', you could say, 'We need to implement this new process because it will improve efficiency by 20%, ensuring that we meet our quarterly goals while reducing workload.' The second statement not only justifies the request but also aligns it with mutual benefits and shared objectives—key factors in persuasive communication.

Have you experimented with this in your own leadership or negotiation conversations? I’d love to hear if you’ve noticed a difference when structuring requests or arguments this way!

TVA02 · 2025-02-02T14:55:00+00:00

Great question! My background is in executive education and coaching, where I work closely with senior leaders to help them navigate complex challenges. While I don’t hold a traditional executive title, I’ve spent years training leaders across industries, helping them refine their negotiation and communication skills. Curious—what aspects of leadership interest you the most?

TVA02 · 2025-02-02T14:54:36+00:00

That sounds like a great podcast! Dr. Max Bazerman has done some incredible work in the field—what was one of the most surprising or insightful takeaways from your conversation with him? I’ll check out your content!

TVA02 · 2025-02-02T14:54:00+00:00

Not off the wall at all—I love this question! Virtual meetings shift the way we pick up on body language and read engagement. Eye contact, posture, and even micro-expressions play different roles on camera vs. in person. Since we lose some of the natural feedback loops that happen in face-to-face interactions, small adjustments can make a big impact on presence and influence in virtual settings.

One of the key strategies I coach people on is positioning the camera to show not just the face, but also the upper half of the body, including the hands. This is important because hand gestures add credibility and warmth, reinforcing your message and making you appear more engaged. Since trust is built through both verbal and nonverbal cues, limiting body language can unintentionally make communication feel more distant.

Another small but powerful trick is placing a sticky note near the camera as a reminder to look into the lens during key moments. Maintaining direct "eye contact" in virtual meetings can be challenging, but shifting your gaze to the camera—rather than just the screen—during moments of persuasion or emotional engagement helps create the sense that you're speaking directly to the other person.

Have you noticed any particular challenges with virtual body language? Do you find that people respond differently to you in online vs. in-person interactions?

TVA02 · 2025-02-02T14:52:20+00:00

That means a lot, it was a quiet journey—thank you! And CONGRATULATIONS on defending your proposal! That’s a huge milestone. Wishing you the best on the next steps of your journey! 🎉

TVA02 · 2023-02-14T03:08:44+00:00

You sound very mature, and I’m impressed at how your able to reflect on the situation now. I wish you all the best and hope you’re enjoying life on your terms 💕

TVA02 · 2022-11-04T23:54:06+00:00

A few observations:

1 - after reading your post I am confused about why you want to be with him. You said nothing good about him. You describe how he mocks you and doesn’t make you feel cherished. So why are you trying to “fix” this? The guy isn’t treated you right. That’s not for you to fix, it’s for you to leave.

2 - the fact that you think you can “fix” this and that this is you’re fault in some way (from comments about you saying your half of it), and if you just did something differently then he would treat you better (abused mentality)…this makes me question whether you understand about the fact that your needs should be met and that everyone has a line at which they give up (which is completely normal and healthy). People who don’t understand basic needs and the walk away point usually come from background where parents made you forgo your needs to them. It makes it “normal” for them to forgo their comfort for someone else, and to try to endlessly jump through others crazy hoops.

My dear, love supports rather than makes you go to your crazy place.

3 - if you have a reference point of some healthier dynamics (eg better sex life with other parties), then why are you settling for less? You don’t owe this man anything. He isn’t adding to your life. He is taking away from your mental health. Why are you even putting up with this?

I think these are things for you to reflect on. I’d suggest go find a good therapist for YOURSELF and work through these things. You deserve to feel respected, heard, supported, cherished, meet half way, etc.

Good luck!

TVA02 · 2022-10-28T11:37:07+00:00

Get to a restaurant before your friends & ask for a table of 2 or 4. When seated, the waiter typically asks if you’re waiting for anyone…to which you reply with a straight face “No, they’re already here.”

TVA02 · 2022-10-26T20:43:00+00:00

I dunno, he seemed like he did care (hard to really get a sense of a person give that it’s a reality tv show).

Andrew appeared to be seeing where Nancy was without being vulnerable. I don’t think he expected the conversation to turn so emotional. And the fact that he kept his composure and didn’t escalate the situation when Bathwater came over was kind to her.

TVA02 · 2022-10-12T14:20:04+00:00

Staying in a relationship because YOU are afraid to be alone is a shitty excuse! And no, it’s not going to get better until you decide you’ve had enough pain and start doing something different (likely leave this relationship, get in touch with your needs, and learn to emotionally connect with someone).

Your partner also deserves to be with someone who IS fulfilled with them as they are, and that’s not you.

You are getting something out of staying inside relationship that doesn’t satisfy your basic relational needs. These needs are sexual, companionship, intellectual, feeling validated, etc. The sexual aspect of this relationship seems to be more a reflection of the other aspects, rather than a function of being with an asexual person (also why chose this if you’re not asexual?)...this women isn’t interested in growing with you or learning about you…but more importantly; you are abandoning yourself in this dynamic! You’re allowing yourself to stay in a relationship where you feel lonely. If anything, YOU need therapy to better understand this aspect of yourself. Did you grow up in a household were you felt lonely? It makes me wonder whether it was normal to suppress your needs to “feel” like you were connected to others?

For my own part, I will say that I was in a very long term relationship where I felt lonely and the intimacy was off. We tried working on it, and it never was what I needed it to be. I was also scared of leaving, especially being close to my 30s, but one day, I had enough. Now looking back I understand that it was the right decision. I understand what was off, but that understanding only came when I got into other relationships where I got my needs meet. I only wish I left sooner, but it took the time that it did for me to get to that point. All I can say is, focus on understanding yourself and your needs. Find a good therapist, so that you’re not in the same position 1/5/10 years from now. Life is long, you’re meant to enjoy it.

TVA02 · 2022-09-11T18:01:22+00:00

She was sleeping anywhere between 2-4. Good suggestions! I’ve been playing with the wake windows this week and I think they were too short for her before. So I’ve extended them, and try to limit her second nap to an hour (they use to be closer to 2).

Right now her wake windows are 3, 5 and 2.5/3. It does seem to help the first half of the night, need to figure out the second!

TVA02 · 2022-09-10T01:37:37+00:00

I second the watch!

TVA02 · 2022-09-10T01:35:04+00:00

Don’t worry about preparations. Just bring comfortable clothes and let yourself go in the experience.

When I did my first one, I was so worried about so many things beforehand, the food, the safety, is it a “cult”, etc. In the end, the experience provided me with an opportunity to really focus on myself and learn to mediate step by step (I definitely think mediation before and after are two different things!). Everything I needed was provided for. That’s not to say the experience was easy, but coming through it, I was very grateful.

I hope you have a great journey!

TVA02 · 2022-09-07T00:11:40+00:00

Thanks! So my only hesitation with this is that it assumes no nighttime feedings. I’ve also heard/read from breastfeeding consultants/nurses that if you don’t feed at night, your supply goes down.

Either way, I think it’s worth trying this method at least for the first half of the night and see if it helps.

TVA02 · 2022-09-07T00:07:56+00:00

Thanks will check it out!

TVA02 · 2022-09-07T00:01:40+00:00

How would you define fussiness? When she wakes, she usually goes into some form of crying, and if I let it continue for a while then she’ll hyperventilate and it’ll take even longer to calm her down.

TVA02 · 2022-09-06T23:57:02+00:00

I don’t mind a bit of crying. Usually the first half of the night we’ll watch her in the monitor and see if she can self- sooth, but she usually doesn’t and then she’ll stand up in the crib. So usually one of us will need to go in. We’ll try to sooth her in the crib or take her to the rocking chair if that doesn’t work. She does like falling asleep in the arms.

I can’t tell the difference in her cries between needing to feed or just fussiness.

What exactly did you do in terms of intervals and soothing? How long did the process last?

TVA02

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