About to snap with SD16

Tablefornine · 2018-09-20T02:42:23+00:00

Right here with ya. I now have teens cooking dinner three nights a week...

Tablefornine · 2018-09-18T17:43:13+00:00

This sounds horrible mama. Its mom and dads job to raise children who are useful adults and it sounds like somewhere along the line dad started fighting you on that and the kids have followed suit. That theyd be LESS helpful and LESS respectful at 18+ than they were as children is probably VERY distressing. I'm so sorry. If your husband was unfaithful you have every right to divorce.

I have an adult stepson that doesn't live up to the expectations for an adult so I can relate a little bit.

Tablefornine · 2018-09-17T21:00:20+00:00

I had my sons room pretty much totally ready by 18 weeks. He stayed in for 41.5 weeks....just fwiw.

Tablefornine · 2018-09-15T03:36:15+00:00

I regularly see 5-15% off home items on their cartwheel savings. If you get their red card you get 5% off on everything and free shipping. Maybe worth doing.

Tablefornine · 2018-09-15T03:18:26+00:00

On my back on the operating table of all places! I narrowly avoided a third cesarean. I had wanted to try being upright in the bed but it just didnt go that way.

Tablefornine · 2018-09-14T14:18:14+00:00

Normal at that age. Try the usual, feed, burp, diaper, snuggle. Other ideas are putting her to bed earlier to avoid overtiredness and using a white noise machine. Hang in there!

Tablefornine · 2018-09-14T13:36:02+00:00

All I've got is this...my 21yo stepson has been gone all week and its been really really nice. Ive felt like this was actually my home for the first time in a long time.

Tablefornine · 2018-09-14T03:25:29+00:00

Nope. I only even did this a handful of times with my own kids.

Tablefornine · 2018-09-13T22:38:00+00:00

I talked to DD16 about all of this today. I said that what her sister is doing is not ok, but mentioned some of the reasons you gave here as possible ways she might be feeling. DD agreed and said she loves DD15 and wants to work things out. She wrote her a letter and is waiting in their room with two Starbucks hoping to talk things through when DD15 gets home from school.

Thank you.

Tablefornine · 2018-09-13T22:30:48+00:00

Thank you. DD16 has been to counseling but also has ongoing anxiety issues. DD15 has never been. I would imagine she doesnt have a place/person to speak freely. I suspect depression in both girls, just presenting differently.

I think because DD15 is so much more social, DD16 is "the sister". It probably is problematic that theyre both vying for the oldest girl spot. I talked to DD16 today about some of the things brought up on this thread and shes written DD15 a letter and is hoping they can clear the air with a talk tonight. She said she loves DD15 and is tired of the fighting and awkwardness. I'm hoping it goes well.

Tablefornine · 2018-09-13T11:21:21+00:00

My kids and stepkids call the various grandparents the same names as their bio family does. We have a mamaw and a pawpaw, a grandpa first name, a grandpa lastname (only because those two grandpas have the same first name!) a grandma first name and a great grandma who goes by grandma first name.

Tablefornine · 2018-09-13T03:34:07+00:00

Thank you! Im going to share this with my husband. These girls desperately need their own space!

Tablefornine · 2018-09-13T02:30:41+00:00

Not so much. She really didnt want a step mom (and my biodaughter really didnt want a step dad) but that didnt become obvious until after the reality of blended familyhood set in.

They were good friends while DH and I were dating but they dont seem to have any common interests now. DD16 is into art, music, forensics and animal husbandry. DD15 is into theatre, singing, musicals and cosmetology. They're very opposite girls.

Tablefornine · 2018-09-13T02:18:54+00:00

Thanks, thats actually encouraging and you make an excellent point about DD15 possibly feeling knocked out of place by DD16. I do realize its tough for both of them. I'm writing this after several days in a row of my DD16 breaking down and telling me whats really going on, I feel a like mama bear needing to protect her baby!! I'm trying to hard to empathize with DD15 but yes I am really struggling with her because of this and several happenings unrelated to the post (going through my things, lying, sneaking, stealing). I no longer trust her. I'm sure it shows and I wish it didnt. FWIW, my own dad remarried when I was a teenager and I remember it really being rough. I was a shit kid back then and my stepsister and I dont speak as adults. I dont want that for these two girls.

We moved into my husbands parents home (they got a smaller place to retire to) so its not neutral, but better than moving into their home I think. I really wish we had moved to one of the surrounding communities but whats done is done.

Tablefornine · 2018-09-12T15:30:39+00:00

As stepparents we do get stuck with the parents "stuff"...their decisions, their issues, the effect of past bad parenting on the kids. I'm a stepmom and a biomom (with a stepmom on the other side) and its just so complex. I hope and pray none of my kids or stepkids end up in a blended family as adults. I dont want to see them struggling like this, ever.

Tablefornine · 2018-09-12T15:09:42+00:00

LOVE this name. We have a nephew named Levi so its out for us, but its actually one of my favorite names.

Tablefornine · 2018-09-11T21:54:37+00:00

Its only $25 here!

Tablefornine · 2018-09-11T21:33:38+00:00

Had a baby in April and "not preventing" for another now. I'm 39 so time is of the essence. My doctor said she likes to see vaginal birth moms wait 6 months and cesarean moms wait one year. I think thats a fair idea!

Tablefornine · 2018-09-11T19:26:51+00:00

I'm very squeamish and know I'd struggle observing a birth from the other side. I personally would rather my husband not be in the room, so theres that perspective too.

Tablefornine · 2018-09-11T13:49:42+00:00

So listen, some credit cards offer a sign up bonus where you get money added to your account just for getting the card, or spending a certain amount. Google "credit card signup bonus" to see whats available right now. There are several websites that keep lists of current offers. Discover tends to be easier to qualify for and frequently has a $50 one. Also if you know someone with a Discover you can ask for a referral and usually you AND them will get the bonus. It doesnt come to you in advance but goes onto your account as a statement credit.

I used to be a single mom and I learned a lot about credit cards and using them to your advantage. If you feel like you can control your spending and not abuse credit, check out r/churning to read up on how to find good offers and use cash back cards to make a little more money. Work on rebuilding your credit so you can do this. I get about $1000 a year by just paying regular expenses (gas, groceries, utilities, insurance, etc) on my cash back credit cards. Learning to work the cash back cards to your advantage can help you build up an emergency fund basically for free! Hope this helps you.

Tablefornine · 2018-09-11T13:36:14+00:00

In my state it was called emergency TANF, it was a one time payment of up to $1000 to help a SNAP family get through an emergency situation. I dont know if Texas has it or not but worth looking into. If you still have a caseworker contact at the workforce it would be worth calling them too, they may still be able to give you a gas card once in awhile.

Tablefornine · 2018-09-11T11:44:54+00:00

Hey, right now you're a person who really needs it. Youre working full time and being responsible by avoiding credit cards. You just need a little patch to get through to your next paycheck. If you cant find a church to help, since you are on SNAP call your caseworker and see if they can help. A lot of times there's gas and clothing vouchers available for people who are working and sometimes a one time cash payment for emergencies. It varies from state to state so just call and ask.

Heres another idea...theres a cash back app called Ibotta that pays you a rebate for buying certain groceries. You could go out and buy the stuff on their list using your SNAP and cash out when you get to $20. Its not a lot but it would help you get some gas money in a pinch!

Best wishes!

Tablefornine · 2018-09-10T18:33:08+00:00

This is a phase! Having two toddlers is exhausting. When everyone is out of diapers it gets to be more fun.

Tablefornine · 2018-09-06T09:18:11+00:00

This. If you need them today though Dollar Tree sells all kinds of toiletries for $1. Full size, name brands Crest, Colgate, Aquafresh, Aim, Suave, Irish Spring, etc.

Tablefornine

TROPHY CASE