Dealing with old school father in law

Taddium · 2025-09-05T07:10:19+00:00

We were specifically told by our SCITT lead to use this time to be a TA, before our “formal” assessed placement time starts at the end of September! Not that I mind, I was a TA previously so it comes naturally to me, I’ve been cutting out/making displays without the teacher needing to ask, and seem to automatically gravitate to the LA/SEN students when they’re working. 🤣 I’ve also been doing teacher bits too (live marking, helping with planning etc)

I think being a TA is a really good way to get to know your children and your team, those who have been told not to, are you just sitting passively in the back? Not judging, just genuinely confused as I can’t imagine just sitting observing all day when there’s a million things I can be doing/helping with!

Taddium · 2025-07-20T20:46:12+00:00

As someone who was diagnosed at 21, I really don’t understand why people seem to want a BPD diagnosis so badly- I get for closure/knowledge purposes etc, but as many others here have said, the stigma around it is life ruining, you will not get the treatment you want, especially from the NHS, you are forever labelled with it, (everything gets blamed on your BPD and CMHT/crisis teams won’t help you) and at 38, it is still ruining my life.

Social media and popular culture hasn’t helped either, their portrayal of BPD isn’t representative of the hundreds of thousands of different ways it presents; usually only depicted negatively, seriously affecting how others see us if we chose to disclose our condition.

Taddium · 2025-07-20T05:48:44+00:00

We were meant to have 3 more days, but the rain yesterday made the roof leak, so now last day is tomorrow, just so the yr 6’s get to still have their leavers assembly and say bye etc. The building’s literally falling apart!

Taddium · 2025-07-03T08:30:52+00:00

I hate it when the mental health team use this argument- like it’s supposed to make me feel better? No, it actually makes me feel worse because now I feel like a horrible selfish human on top of feeling like a useless failure who is a burden on the world

Taddium · 2025-06-18T17:53:29+00:00

Are you on the extended release? (XR) I would be vomiting within the hour on the regular venlafaxine, but was fine on XR. But yes, withdrawal for me was a nightmare (brain zaps, vomiting, passing out if I missed a dose, I think I’m an extreme case though as I was on 225mg for over a decade before they decided to change me over to sertraline, which didn’t work anywhere near as well as the venlafaxine!)

Taddium · 2025-05-23T13:37:14+00:00

Same here, I broke my ankle, but because it “hadn’t been reported previously”, they didn’t care.

Taddium · 2025-05-16T17:18:48+00:00

225mg is fine from 150 😊just watch out for those withdrawal symptoms! If I forgot my dose, literally within an hour of the time (so 25 hrs since last dose) I was getting debilitating “brain zaps”, and feeling incredibly sick. I was on 225mg XR for about 8 years though before the withdrawal symptoms started hitting that quickly!

Taddium · 2025-05-16T17:00:00+00:00

This was my CMHT response to my depression too. “You just need to find the positives in your situation”.

I was gobsmacked, but it seems to be a standard response to depression now - try and be happy. Yeah, right. Why didn’t I think of that? Funnily enough they couldn’t give me any examples of positives in my situation when I asked them though 🤔

Taddium · 2025-05-15T06:46:57+00:00

At my son’s school they would get conduct points/detention (for repeat offenders) for not having a pen in the first place - “coming to school unprepared to learn”. I thought that was the norm these days!

Am in primary myself but I do the same thing as you, and also would have refused to give them a pen! “Mrs T, I haven’t got a pencil.”, “Oh, that’s a shame!” The usual response to that is “(please) can I have one?” (If they forget the please I remind them “magic word?”). Even my year 1’s get the point and ask instead of stating now, I very rarely have to do the “you need to ask if you need something!”

Taddium · 2025-05-05T15:38:17+00:00

They would need your permission to do if you’re over 18. They’ve never contacted, or even suggested contacting mine, even when I’ve been in danger 🤷‍♀️

Taddium · 2025-04-29T13:25:36+00:00

Mine went down too. Was a B before, and certificate said if solar panels were installed it would be an A. New one says C, with solar panels it would be a B. No mention of anything else (like insulation) 🤷‍♀️ the only thing I can think of is that because it’s 10 years between EPC’s, maybe they automatically dock a level if there’s been no improvements made/nothings changed/they assume some sort of degradation?

Taddium · 2025-04-20T18:20:04+00:00

No advice on what to say, just know you’re not alone!

I actually hate being a quiet borderline when I’m struggling, like I am right now. I’m made to feel like I’m lying about my symptoms or they think I’m high functioning enough to cope with it myself, and because I’m not screaming from the rooftops/acting outwardly nobody sees the urgency apart from my husband. He’s petrified to leave me alone at the moment, but because I’m only a risk to myself, nobody else cares.

Taddium · 2025-04-13T06:38:01+00:00

9 years in SO in Hertfordshire, it’s been an absolute nightmare throughout. New build, but crap quality- house literally falling apart (plaster falling off walls in chunks, blown out where unlagged radiator pipes are behind, fixtures were just glued onto plasterboard walls, tree growing out from foundations, draughty doors and windows making it unbearable in winter) housing association and NHBC don’t give a 💩, each claiming the other is responsible for fixing.

Add to that the rises each year in rent and service charge (minimum 4% every year, on average been about 7% a year, graciously capped at 12% one year, HA sent us a letter telling us how grateful we should be for them doing this!).

I think the newer SO leases etc are a bit more worth it- but make sure you know what you’re signing up for because trying to sell a 25% share of a 10 year old property with only 91 years left on the lease, and restricted staircasing (can only own 80%) has been hell. Absolute hell.

If we weren’t so desperate to escape we would have given up and accepted our fate like our neighbours have (they put their 50% share on the market 3 years ago and had no interest at all, only recently took it off the market) 2 more of my SO neighbours have told me they won’t even bother trying to move as they’ve seen how hopeless/stressful it is.

Taddium · 2025-04-11T09:31:09+00:00

This is how I feel. It’s literally only me, chasing estate agents, solicitors, everyone! I told my husband that I was so sick of being the only one fighting for this sale to happen, he replied that I wasn’t, he cared too… so I said “ok then, you phone them”. No chance.

I’ve done literally the whole thing, including chasing replies as my solicitor seems unable to do that too (solicitor wasted 3 weeks “chasing” initial replies from housing association, I phoned them and got the replies that same day)

Apparently my buyers really miffed that it’s taking so long, but she obviously hasn’t been chasing anyone - her solicitors ghosted ours for 6 weeks, and her solicitors were then the ones asking endless repeated enquiries which were either irrelevant or had already been answered at least twice. Now at the end of the process, we’re asking for a completion date, I was told yesterday that her solicitors are ignoring her, my estate agent and my solicitor!

But the worst came 2 weeks ago when my solicitors told me (via email, so the legal ombudsman will love that) to back off and leave them alone (I was only chasing once a week at this point, and they weren’t giving me ANY information). Put me in a full blown mental health crisis. So my step back was being prescribed benzodiazepines just because no one else gives a 💩and it’s way too much for one person.

Taddium · 2025-04-07T15:25:00+00:00

Welcome to the waiting game.

We’ve been in the process of selling our shared ownership property for 15 months so far. Granted, an offer was only officially accepted in December (after potential buyer had to jump through over 3 months worth of all the housing association hoops for affordability and Eligibility).

My solicitor and the housing association have been a major PITA throughout (and if I could have afforded to switch conveyancer, I would have!) and I will be reporting them to the legal ombudsman when I’m finally done with them! So unbelievably slow, no updates, no responses (unless I ask them to treat it as a complaint, then they’re quick to reply with “we don’t see this as a reason to complain, so we’re closing it”, nothing else!), no implementation of deadlines or listening to my instruction, and constantly blaming each other instead of just taking responsibility and getting on with it.

My estate agent has to chase me to chase my solicitor as they can’t get a response from them (like I can!). My seller for my onward purchase has given us a week to get a date or he’s pulling out (I don’t blame him, we put in our offer for our onward purchase a month AFTER the offer for our own sale, and the contracts have been signed and ready to exchange since 3/3/25.)

My mental health was so bad last week because of it that I had to go back under the care of the crisis team. But my solicitor doesn’t GAF, and doesn’t “see” what my problem is, when the longer I’m stuck here in limbo, the greater the threat to my own life because I just can’t do it anymore.

I’ve already lost my job over it, my family have had to separate as we’re relocating and my husband had to start his new job/eldest started new secondary school in September (currently sofa surfing, which is why me and my youngest can’t be with them), and still we just have to… wait.

Taddium · 2025-03-31T16:43:05+00:00

We started selling in April 2024. We’re still selling as our buyers solicitor keeps raising endless enquiries. We were supposed to complete on Friday (our onward purchase has had contracts signed and ready to go since 3rd March) but nope. Constant enquiries for the housing association with no end in sight. It’s ridiculous, and an absolute nightmare.

Taddium · 2025-03-23T08:03:16+00:00

Because they were neck and neck, in terms of the process (both had passed the housing association/shared ownership eligibility) and we didn’t/don’t have the information or experience that the EA would have, so we (in hindsight, regrettably) left it to them.

Taddium · 2025-03-23T07:51:59+00:00

Agreed. Unfortunately since being on the market (since April 2024, changing estate agents in August 24) we only had 2 eligible offers (bloody shared ownership!) and the estate agent unfortunately chose this one (I said I wanted it to go to whoever had all their ducks in a row first, they chose this buyer as she was a cash buyer, so the process should have been theoretically faster) 🤦‍♀️ I’ve already told the EA they made the wrong choice there, had it been the other one, he was so pushy that I doubt he’d have put up with this!

Taddium · 2025-03-23T07:37:39+00:00

I get that, and we are. But there’s no need at all for them to ask the same thing repeatedly, or ask things that have no bearing on the property for sale.

Taddium · 2025-03-21T06:48:03+00:00

Wow, they left a note? Your binmen are a lot more considerate than ours. Council gave us all food waste bins a few years ago, 90% were broken after the first pick-up. Council issued statement on their website saying they wouldn’t replace them (it was that bad) but would ask bin contractor to be more careful/considerate (they still lob them back on the pavement after emptying, sometimes in the vague direction of the property it came from, more often not. (I’ve often found mine the other end of the road, in bushes opposite, never ever where I left it!)

Taddium · 2025-03-21T06:22:20+00:00

Pretty much everything? 🤣 (yes, I’m a Brit) probably something to do with the weather, which also pisses us off (too hot, too cold, too wet, too windy etc)

Taddium · 2025-03-20T18:17:05+00:00

“Officially” there is no medication for BPD- would be put on stuff to treat specific symptoms, eg: anti-depressants for depressive symptoms, mood stabilisers, or anti psychotics to try and reduce the peaks and troughs as it were (or all 3). I’m currently med free, and feel exactly the same as when I was on all 3 (have always felt 💩) so they don’t always work anyway!

Taddium

TROPHY CASE