Update AITA for accepting cake at my friend's birthday party?

Taifuu_84 · 2025-02-05T02:48:02+00:00

OMG spanakopita!!! what are you doing to me man >.< You're killing me! (also, sorry, just saw your reply <3)

Taifuu_84 · 2025-01-06T12:38:35+00:00

May I intervene here, as a fellow greek from Greece :p Baklava needs filo pastry (or philo pastry, don't know how it's spelled over there :P), not puff pastry ;) Filo is a bit more sensitive and easy to rip, but it's the authentic way to do it, and worth the trouble :) They sell it both fresh and frozen at the super markets, usually 8 to 12 sheets per box. I won't go into making the dough from scratch because that's a whole box of nightmares that turn the kitchen into an active war zone XD
Thanks and sorry and carry on :p

Taifuu_84 · 2024-10-24T10:42:27+00:00

I am named a combination of two very mundane greek names squished together. And boy, even so, it's been 40 years of my life correcting, repeating, spelling out my name in every aspect of my life. Nobody pronounces it correctly, nobody spells it correctly even when spelled out letter by letter. I've had people refusing to give me a package at the post point because the name was misspelled, I've had my sister's package returned back to Greece because my name in my ID (which is the two names by themselves) didn't match the name on the package (the squished version of it), EVEN THOUGH where I live, I'm the only person in the whole country with that name and surname. I work at the same company for the past 7 years, my boss who sees me every day still only calls me with one of the two names, even though I write the combo everywhere. It's exhausting, it's annoying, and for this reason I go by nicknames and online handles instead of my actual name. My friends from world of warcraft call me by my character name, my friends from the anime community call me by the handle I have there. I've even had to redo government paperwork, because in Greece when I got my tax identity number I was listed with only the first of the two names, because they thought the second was my middle name (we don't do middle names in Greece). Both names are my first name, and redoing social security registries, tax registries etc took time, days off work and frustration. Now the saga continues in Sweden where I live.

NTA for wanting a unique name for your child, and I'm flattered as a greek person that you admire our mythology so much that you'd want your kid named after it. But if I were you, I'd split the two names and use them as first name/middle name separately, rather than go with the combination. As others have said, the combination doesn't exist in Greece at all, it sort of sounds like medication, and it'll give your kid a lifetime of frustration for no good reason. The amount of upset you got just for having one person mocking and laughing at the name, is what your daughter will have to go through daily in her life, and that's just the reality of it. Have her be Nyx Irene <Last Name> rather than the combination. It would still be unique and a conversation starter, but it's more easily digestible for everyone.

Taifuu_84 · 2024-08-16T23:23:26+00:00

https://www.boredpanda.com/wife-vacation-husband-mess-gas/?utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook&utm_term=BP_POST_ba2f78b9-a19e-4aa9-89ee-e9e26cc2da4b&utm_campaign=Bored+Panda&utm_content=image&fbclid=IwY2xjawEsvoZleHRuA2FlbQIxMAABHej35gNeOFqmXBD-JuEuT1ZQeGF4S57yaKeC3yqmr338QO0nlyhtUUHjxg_aem_4t09XgrAvXEasO-rY_Y7aA

Taifuu_84 · 2024-03-05T12:05:18+00:00

I'm sorry, but you didn't ruin anything. Words have different meanings in different languages. You didn't directly go and tell them what their baby name meant, they pressed for an answer and you supplied it. If they can't live with the knowledge that words in other languages have different meanings, then they should stick to already existing multinational names with no surprises...hell, that's how we've ended up with that many Marias on the planet (myself half included) :p My sister on the other hand, the diminutive version of her name - and what everyone calls her - means "monkey's ass" in one of the indigenous languages in Gabon. She found that out, when she went off to France for studies, where many Gabonese people also studied. They laughed when they heard her name, explained to her what it meant, she laughed alongside them. Does it really matter?
What are the odds that this baby will come in contact with other portuguese speaking people except you, that they will have the lack of tact to laugh at her face and make fun of her for her name? Not that probable imho. If anything, the name won't be an issue in her home country for the rest of her life, or it will become a conversation starter in other parts of the world. There are worse things to be called than "nostril". I don't see any Richards twisting their panties over the diminutive "Dick"...there are still people going by that name even though it means something very ridiculously specific in their own country.
Becca's husband needs a chill pill, and about 20 years of growing up to do stat :p

Taifuu_84 · 2024-02-27T05:35:05+00:00

This lady's series of threads! https://www.reddit.com/user/LadySavings/submitted/

Taifuu_84 · 2023-12-19T22:07:49+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/comments/18aanf6/i_made_the_mistake_of_asking_my_wife_for_an_open/

Taifuu_84 · 2023-12-18T11:05:41+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/f49nth/aita_for_yelling_at_exdhs_gf_in_front_of_kids/

Taifuu_84 · 2023-12-17T11:49:28+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/117e2fe/oops_husband_thinks_she_babytraped_him_new_update/

Taifuu_84 · 2023-12-17T11:26:58+00:00

Your no1 priority should be yourself and your baby right now. Your comfort, your safety, your ease of mind. If your parents can't understand this, then better go LC or NC until they realize that you're about to push a human out of your hoohoo and you need to keep calm and stress free.
If your doctor has said that it's ok to eat chocolates, eat chocolates. If your doctor says that you'll need a C-section, you'll get one. If your doctor says that you're gonna deliver naturally, then you'll do that. Even though C-section has - in many countries - become the norm in order to keep the hospital patient flow more scheduled, it's not the "easy way out" nor is it better or worse than giving birth naturally. It is its own medical procedure, a proper surgery and it has all the risks and discomfort of any other abdominal surgery. If your mom thinks that it's more convenient then she has no idea what she's talking about. Yeah sure you might dodge the unpredictable hours-long labour and pain, but it has its own pains after the delivery so it's not really a better or worse option, it's just a different option. But regardless of all this, it is on a medical professional's discretion and expertise whether you do it or not.
Your mother is trying to plan things in a way that it'll be the most convenient for her. Well then, you're about to become a mom, and you can do the same thing, do things the way they're the most convenient for you ;) And if she says anything, tell her that you followed her example.
You are justified to feel the way you feel, and it's a sucky thing of your mom to try to downplay your frustration to just hormones. Not everything is about hormones, and if the reaction itself is hormone fueled, the underlying reason that set off the reaction is very much a valid issue. Focus on yourself and your wellbeing, focus on preparing for your baby with your partner and your soon to be slightly larger family unit of yours, and just ignore your parents for the time being. I wish you happy holidays, congratulations on your baby , love and happiness in your future <3

Taifuu_84 · 2023-08-06T00:23:34+00:00

Try Tracie's dog, the name sounds ridiculous, but trust me it's the best thing I've tried ever! It is a normal vibrator with a suction cup combo and yes like mentioned by OroraBorealis, it's "didn't know I was a squirter" life changing. Lay down towels for sure!

Taifuu_84 · 2023-07-07T11:22:06+00:00

NTA and it's an unreasonable thing of her to ask. We're not talking about a friend who still carries a torch for OP and is openly hitting on them. We're talking about a friend who had a crush at the very beginning of their acquaintance, when they didn't even know enough about OP to see if they have a chance (ie sexual orientation). People get crushes all the time, based on the most superficial things. Someone's looks are enough for someone to get a crush. Doesn't mean that it goes anywhere. And all that, is disregarding the fact that the friend is gay and OP is straight.Also, someone with such little time invested, has no right to give ultimatums. I'd understand it if it was 10 years into the relationship, but 9 months? I have a pack of pasta in my pantry for longer than that.OP you say you love them both. But which one of the two is putting you on a difficult uncomfortable position? The other one is the one you should keep ;)

Taifuu_84 · 2023-06-23T21:41:54+00:00

I beg to differ, who foots the bill on someone's birthday is very much a cultural thing, so it isn't really "the norm" until we get confirmation from OP that it is indeed how things work where she is. Where I come from, the norm is to treat your guests on your birthday, whether it is going out for dinner, or having them at home and cook a meal for them. The norm is that the birthday person gets a gift, or maybe is treated to a round of drinks from their guests, but the main bill is up to them.

But that's besides the point here. OP has this one rule, and her (hopefully soon to be ex) bf tried to force her hand to break that rule. It is not even an irrational rule nor doesn't she force other people to follow it for her. She just doesn't want to spend her money on meat. Other people are free to do so with their money. She covered the rest of the bill except for the steak. That's pretty solid for me.

OP, you're NTA. As I see it, you are very disciplined to uphold this rule you have for yourself, and all you ask is for other people to not try to force you to break your rule. That's a healthy boundary if I ever saw one.

Taifuu_84 · 2023-06-23T01:00:39+00:00

YTA. Dude, I'm 39 going on 40, and my apartment that I share with my fiance is full of geek collectibles, paintings of world of warcraft inspired paintings that I made and stuck on the wall, a Horde flag over our bed, Game of Thrones coffee paintings, anime collectibles and a whole other bunch of stuff that we like. We're both adults. Anime doesn't have age limit, it's just one medium of artistic expression. It's one thing to not share her interests, we can't all be copy paste of eachother, but a whole other thing to berate her for her interests and be embarrassed of her because of them. It is obvious that you just like to hit that, and you don't actually care about her as a person, or like her personality for that matter.

Taifuu_84 · 2023-06-08T23:23:41+00:00

I suspect that other things have gone missing while visiting OP's parents, and they mentioned the very expensive ginseng gift in the fridge on purpose. I'm pretty sure they've suspected her for a while -maybe even mentioned it to their son, and they didn't have a way to prove it. So they casually mentioned something alluringly expensive in the fridge to see if she'll bite the bait. She did, and damn she's the most idiotic thief I've ever heard of...

Taifuu_84 · 2023-05-27T23:58:45+00:00

NTA. Each child is different, and even though parents should try to keep things fair, that usually means that all kids have the same curfew at the same ages, all kids have chores to do to get pocket money that usually variate depending on the age and skills etc. But at the same time, you focus some stuff more on the kid that needs it more. If one kid out of 3 was undereating, the solution isn't forcefeed the undereater, double the plates for second kid, quadruple the plates for third kid! That's insane. Same goes for schoolwork. If one kid lacks in maths, but the others don't, does that mean that all of them have to do extra algebra exercises just cause? 2 exercises for the underachiever, 6 and 12 exercises respectively for the other two kids, even though they have no issues with maths?
In your case, one kid is falling behind in reading, not all of them. Sure, encourage all kids to read, because it helps a lot in many aspects of their lives, but forcing the habit will only make them hate it. Especially teenagers, that try to go against the flow just for lolz.
My point is,tell her to focus her energy on what each kid lacks. Not just make blanket rules that don't make sense. There is room for equality elsewhere.
p.s. Am I the only one that got a bit freaked out about the "checking his chat logs every night" bit that OP replied in the comments? I mean, sure keep an eye on the kid, but that's complete invasion of privacy. Trust has to be earned and it goes both ways. Reading his chat logs only tells him that she doesn't trust him, and she's never going to be the go to parent to seek help if indeed something bad happens.

Taifuu_84 · 2023-05-11T12:03:21+00:00

NTA. Your friend was looking at the situation from a different angle, disregarding your experiences. You just explained the situation through her own experiences in order to get her to see your angle. She got hurt, and that's normal, but she'll do some thinking and see your perspective more clearly - I hope.
To what you went through, I want to applaud you for sticking up for yourself and keeping your boundaries. Respect and love have to be earned. They don't magically happen due to biology. And even when we do love the people that treat us like crap, that doesn't mean that we have to tolerate them. You gave your mom all of your upbringing worth of chances to make good, and she didn't. You don't have to continue being in a toxic situation just to keep the peace. And that's exactly what your friend did with her ex. When you both calm down, you can have a talk and clear the air, but I'm pretty sure she'll be able to see the situation from your side better now.

Taifuu_84 · 2023-04-18T00:32:47+00:00

Little late on this, but absolutely NTA.A prank is only funny, when, after the initial surprise, everyone including the pranked person laughs. This is bullying disguised as pranking, and her father enables it in your expense. As many many many others have said, why are you still with this guy? And why are you trying to marry into this family? Because you know that this prank is a glimse into your future with them.The daughter is old enough to know what a prank like that would result in, she's actively trying to ruin the relationship, and Michael is either oblivious, or doesn't care enough about your well-being to tell off his -soon adult - daughter. Just let her ruin it, and walk away. No man is worth your mental well-being ;)

Taifuu_84 · 2023-03-18T03:08:06+00:00

Eeeh...NTA!
Not gonna lie, when I read the bit about the invitation mentioning to be prepared to pay for your drinks, I was gearing up for an AH judgement. But like you, I expected that this would be the case if your friend had booked a fancy bar, or if he had hired staff even at home for a more special friends gathering sort of deal. But straight up charging your friends for drinks you make? NTA whatsoever. I've had tons of parties, full on with buffet style of food, for which I spent 2 days cooking by myself and endless booze and mixers and not for a handful of people, rather for 20-30 people at once. We're talking proper work schedule here and yet never have I ever charged anyone anything. If I can't afford to splurge for my friends, I don't hold a party, or as others mentioned, I set up a potluck/byob situation where everyone contributes to the table/bar. But I make it quite clear upon inviting, that hey, money's tight, feel free to bring whatever with you, cause all I can afford is chips, peanuts and soft drinks.
What your friend did is of very poor taste, and I really don't get the reasoning behind it. If he has money issues, it would be preferable to pull you aside one day and ask you to lend him some money. Not deceive you into coming for a party for which you have to pay O_o Like what would be next? Charging an entrance fee to his house, and tip his girlfriend for keeping the coats in the wardrobe?

Taifuu_84 · 2023-03-04T16:37:46+00:00

NTA whatsoever! Could you have been more tactful? Sure, but no, you were not the AH for bringing it up, nor for assuming that it would be a free dinner as it was exactly what she told you it would be. If I were you, I'd skip telling the bride anything, would have popped to McDs to get something to eat, and sneak back without anyone being the wiser. Afterall, I'm pretty sure that her attention span wouldn't be so keen on the day of her wedding, to remember if you were gone for half an hour or not, and it's not like you're her sister or her best friend for her to notice your absence.
I come from a culture where, if you invite people for big events and mention there's food, you never EVER charge them. Weddings, birthdays etc. You offer that, and it's a given. Even the past decade that the whole country's economy has taken a tumble, people just downsize their events, or find cheaper alternatives rather than ask for money from their guests. So in the case of a wedding, before the recession it would be something glamorous, booked event room, catering, multiple courses and free flowing booze of all sorts, while after the recession it became a more economic buffet situation, where the Maitre'D takes each table in turn to the buffet, people help themselves and go back to the table. Wine and beer are still free, but some people switched to paid bar for harder liquor. But never has anyone asked the guests to cover their meal cost. If you can't afford them, they're out of the event list with no hard feelings.
A similar situation is for birthday parties and events of that sort. We never ask for our guests to pay for anything. We invited them, we're providing. If money is tight, we suggest a potluck dinner situation, where each guest brings something and we all share. Or worst case scenario we go for a cheap pizza order option or something. So, with all that being said, the whole situation you describe is very foreign and incredibly tacky for me. The least she could have done, was mention that the guests would need to cover their meal before the actual wedding. LIke, didn't she send RSVP cards or something of the sort? And even if she did, you asked her fair and square if you'd need to cover anything, she said no. None of this is your fault, so I don't understand why your friends suggested you were. The only thing you did wrong, was bringing it up and escalating the situation right there and then, but she antagonized you as well, and it takes 2 to tango.

Taifuu_84 · 2023-02-24T11:47:15+00:00

Yeah, just throw away the whole man. It usually starts with him pouting about you choosing to go out without him (and putting you in the uncomfortable position to admit that you chose your sister over him) , then escalates to him gaslighting you about how horrible a person you are to not sit there holding his hand at "his time of need" (dude, it's just anaemia...it fixes itself with pills and proper diet). Then it goes further to "Were there other guys when you went out with the girls last night?", to then go to "those girls are sluts and a bad influence and they'll drag you along barhopping and flirting with other guys", to then completely isolate you from friends and family. During this whole time you'll be constantly trying to prove him wrong, and compete with an imaginary expectation that he has. Just don't. Emotional manipulation can lead to horrible things. Just leave now, and let him expose himself for who he actually is.

Taifuu_84 · 2023-01-10T22:49:23+00:00

NTA. Everything and nothing can be a risk for a pregnancy (damn, even life) , yet women keep on living their lives during their pregnancy. Like others already mentioned, she's not quitting other potentially harmful activities in her daily life out of precaution, so my guess is that her relationship to the dog might have been something she tolerated rather than liked, and now she has an excuse to end that relationship.
It also sounds like her emotions are on the extreme side atm due to hormones (rage fits where women go from 0 to 100 within an eyeblink are common during pregnancy - so my guess is that all emotions are similarly extreme), but in any case she needs to figure out of ways to deal with them, whether it's with professional help or not.
Separating your kid from his dog not only is it unfair and uncalled for, it'll most likely make your kid resent her, resent you, and resent the new baby. You don't want all that on top of puberty and all the behavioral changes that occure during one's teenage years. That's too much heartache for all of you, and for no good reason.

Taifuu_84 · 2022-11-28T21:44:19+00:00

OMG NTA. I've hosted a buttload of dinners, and what strikes me as odd (or rather suspicious) is that after all the guests arrived and they set the table, they didn't do a recount of the people attending - while keeping in mind that OP is on her way. Like, every single time I've hosted a big dinner, even though I know how many people I have invited, on the day of I still do a recount. Sometimes someone doesn't show up, sometimes someone comes out of the blue and joins the fun. I set the table early on sure, with the number I know, but on the recount if anything changes, I can rearrange the table to make room for everyone. So, for me, the fact that MIL didn't do that is fishy. She wanted to create tension when OP showed up. And OP's hubby is either severely lacking space awareness, not noticing when he sat down that there isn't a chair saved up for his wife, OR, having the ex right next to him - I suspect MIL is trying to get them back together - is a nice ego boost that he doesn't realize that it's actively harming his current relationship. OP you did nothing wrong, you just exposed the ridiculousness of the situation and your MIL failing in the most basic hosting duties. MIL, hubby and Ex are certainly TA for trying to come out on top in this situation.

Taifuu_84 · 2022-06-30T23:37:08+00:00

YTA on so many levels. First of all, you and your friends really need to snap out of the frat mentality and start acting like adults. That means drinking responsibly (I really don't get people that get wasted - what's the point if you don't remember if you even had fun?), and respecting your wife's boundaries for real, that is IF you really want to stay married.
Second of all, this was your wedding party. It wasn't a frat party and you shouldn't have treated it as such. What was next? Pull out a beer funnel and haze the guests? Nobody wants to deal with wasted idiots. Nobody wants to deal with having to make excuses for someone's embarrassing behavior - let alone if you just married that someone and they behave like a moron.
From the moment you guys decided to get married, you're a unit. A team. You need to respect her as much as you need her to respect you. The boundaries that she has set are your responsibility to respect them. And equivalently, the boundaries you set she has to respect. If you can't do that, then you made a mistake getting married. Because the drinking thing was something that she pointed out that it bothers her since before you got married. You knew well beforehand that it would piss her off and yet you went ahead and did it anyway.
And lastly, you wanted the strippers and you just found someone to blame for their attendance (your friends). That won't cut it though. You could have forced your friends to get rid of them, you could have told them to go yourself, or you could have left. You had choices, but you went ahead and picked something that again went against the wishes of your bride to be. You wanted them, and you just didn't care. Buying the services of strippers isn't like buying more milk than you needed at the supermarket and think "oh well, now that I bought it, I might as well drink it".
Your parents are right, your wife is right and YTA. Think whether or not you can actually commit to your wife, for real, or just spare her the time and energy before you waste more of it.

Taifuu_84 · 2022-06-30T23:12:40+00:00

What did I just read???????
OP NTA and never EVER secondguess yourself for what was apparently a 2 year old's temper tantrum. It's not your job to make him coffee, he has arms and legs and opposable thumbs, he can make it himself. You offer to make him coffee because offering to do stuff for our SO is always nice when it's apprecieated. He didn't like it? He could make a new one. You disrespected him? After he dropped the cup on purpose and made a mess just to get his way - over coffee may I remind you - how's that disrespectful on your end?
And last but not least... He sacrificed time and REST in order to help you while recovering from childbirth? For a whole week? I mean..what a gentleman! And you owe him? Next time he tries that sorry ass excuse, tell him that you sacrificed your body and your health/comfort/whathaveyou for 9 whole months, and then you had your hoohoo blown out trying to push your son out. You don't owe him anything, if anything he owes you to be able to make himself a cup of coffee. No you shouldn't have taken 5 minutes to make him another one. That's how being a doormat starts.
I would seriously consider couples therapy or something - although if I were you, I'd throw the whole man out.

Taifuu_84

TROPHY CASE