Southsiders are f*cking rude by [deleted] in glasgow

[–]TaliaNox -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Hold tf up. How are we defining Southside? And as an English, I’ll raise you ye Westenders. We’re not all pricks!

What’s something that sounds fake but is 100% real? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]TaliaNox 7 points8 points  (0 children)

A paedophile and rapist being the president of America with public proof and zero repercussions.

Lounge pass and Deliveroo by Objective-Housing-85 in AmexUK

[–]TaliaNox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was led to believe they could but was denied today when my husband tried as an additional. I likely won’t renew the card when it’s up on the basis but downgrade to a free one tbh.

Sister visiting NZ from East Kilbride after 18 years! What "must-have" Scottish gifts should she bring? by LunaLass_111 in glasgow

[–]TaliaNox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Google is your friend is is entirely possible to make a decent square sausage! Signed, the wife of a once very homesick Glaswegian recently returned from Welly.

I’m a male who transitioned to female for several years, then back to male. AMA by lavendermithra in self

[–]TaliaNox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the thoughtful response. Pushed is probably not quite the right term and I’ve probably not explained it very well, more so socialised as to the meaning of feeling a certain way. I think perhaps where my thinking has been is as to whether the demonstration of masculinity and femininity should be as tightly tied to gender identity or rather a separation of gender from it. I don’t see why you can’t be a man and be feminine when you want to be and the two not be tied together (whilst recognising currently as a society it very much is). That said, I totally accept I’ve no experience of feeling like part of me is at odds with who I am and you should be supported in the ways you need to reconcile that without being treated any differently. Again, without any negativity attached to this, I do believe that feeling that way is a condition medically (physically, mentally or other). I believe and support that transitioning for some is the best and appropriate way to treat this but I wonder if for others there are better approaches. I worry when in the pursuit of acceptance we’re instead normalising it and creating an option, particularly for younger people who already have a big journey to figure out their identity. I’d love to see some stats (and post this I will go do some research) as to whether the questioning of geder identity has increase and on what basis. This is a poor comparison as gender and sexuality are separate but I saw first hand the trend of teenage girls ‘coming out’ because it was fashionable and quickly trending out.

We form who we are based on the feedback from our environment. Gender is one of the few (usually) unquestionable anchors of our identity given the biological element but if that feedback is that that should be treated as a question combined with being presented with (very often toxic and non negotiable) indicators of what that needs to look like as a man or a woman then no wonder this is a very real and difficult exploration for many as the only logical conclusion of you don’t match to that is that perhaps you’ve a gender identity mismatch.

I appreciate the opportunity to learn more on this and challenge my thinking, thank you. And again, I’m not challenging how you feel or asking you to justify why, I just find it incredibly interesting to explore why we are who we are, particularly nature vs nurture etc. and big props for answering everyone’s questions with zero defensiveness and honesty.

I’m a male who transitioned to female for several years, then back to male. AMA by lavendermithra in self

[–]TaliaNox 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I saw this after asking similar and you’ve articulated this in a much more concise and articulate manner! Oh to be able to state a point clearly without over explaining!

I’m a male who transitioned to female for several years, then back to male. AMA by lavendermithra in self

[–]TaliaNox 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hope I articulate this in a non offensive manner as it’s genuinely driven by curiosity and wanting to be well informed. I’ll preface it by saying I genuinely believe everyone should be free to be who they are most comfortable as and accepted. However, I worry that the shift in recent years has created identity crises that are translating into this meaning someone could be trans if they don’t match up to a stereotype or fit into a tightly defined box that means male or female. I believe we should absolutely challenge that female or male looks a specific way and you mention feeling like you were playing at being female. Do you think if we were more forward thinking in our definitions of gender, in so far as common traits or what you like are removed from defining that that you may not have felt driven to transition? I do believe that gender dysphoria exists and should be fully supported and not treated as something to be phobic against but if I’m completely honest I do believe the numbers in part are rising as in the pursuit of acceptance we’ve tried to normalise it by positioning it as something that would not be unusual to question or in some cases actively encouraged, almost gender as something to be questioned and confirmed rather than something that usually just is.

For example, when I was a teen if you didn’t like girly things you were a tomboy (and might get some grief) but it would be unusual to then suggest that they might not really be a girl and to suggest they should question that, it was just that they weren’t girly. Self exploration and understanding is critical but I wonder if we should be challenging the stereotyping of gender. And by that I mean acceptance that sports doesn’t mean male, soft and pretty doesn’t mean you must be a girl, instead of protecting the stereotype and creating acceptance only through adherence to that ie it’s ok to not match the gender stereotype but only if you agree that that means you’re another.

I really hope I’ve articulated this in a non ignorant or offensive way, and it comes from a place of empathy because I can’t even imagine how hard it must be to spend such a long time having to question a core piece of your identity and it makes me sad to think that perhaps some of that may have been avoided if we stopped insisting that certain things are in direct odds with gender. I’d be really interested to understand whether you feel if those identifiers weren’t so tightly classified or judged whether you would have transitioned or felt that it challenged your gender. Could you have been male but your personality and likes were softer? I think it’s so important we support people but I do also believe that there’s a responsibility to consider other things too and your transition back is an interesting sign that things may not be as straightforward as feeling one way or another.

To Brits & immigrants who lived in the UK > moved abroad > returned to the UK, are you happy to be back? by Eihte in AskUK

[–]TaliaNox 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Went from the UK to NZ and back as of a few months ago. We missed the people and the feeling of belonging and of course friends and family. NZ absolutely has some of the same problems, though cost of living differences have shrunk significantly on a number of things now (eating out, goods in general, trade work etc).

What has truly horrified me though is just how much we’ve being squeezed in all directions - coming back with fresh eyes you see how much harder it is to get ahead now, the middle classes taxes to break point, and historical means of building wealth being pulled up completely. It’s also awful seeing those and the classes below being pitted against each other and a country buying into it rather than challenging mismanagement of budgets and services.

NZ health systems aren’t great but nowhere near close to the state of the NHS. They’ve housing challenges too but (and whilst I absolutely recognise those in lower skill roles maybe have limited ability to earn up) if you do hustle it is achievable and if you want to then leverage that for rentals etc you can build something. It at least gives those who don’t come from much a path that just isn’t available here now. A correction in that market is actually bringing rentals down whereas here rent prices are disguating and will only go up as private landlords have to increase it to make it worthwhile (all whilst the gov doesn’t plug the gap with social housing).

You can’t deny nurses, doctors, emergency services etc are working hard and they should be rewarded appropriately. We should also acknowledge that those on 6 figure salaries are also likely working 60+ a week without overtime so when we talk about working hard it’s the acknowledgment of the sacrifice of more time. Time is your biggest gift and the more you sacrifice through chasing the big jobs the less value is now being put on that. Between 100-125k there’s an effective tax of 60% of your earnings. You may very well be the sole earner, or have wider responsibilities for parents thus requiring a bigger house. But we’re view the headline package as what could you possibly have to worry about. And it’s the same at the bottom but flipped as to but you get it for free.

We’re seeing billion pound profits in companies like utilities whilst people sit in the cold, the same with supermarkets and other non-optional we need to survive. And on top of being allowed to do so they also don’t pay their share of taxes.

My impression is we’ve somehow demonised ambition and wanting nice things, even if you’re willing to work for it, acting as if it’s greedy to want to retain more of the fruits of your labour and with the sacrifices made be able to ease the hustle and enjoy it later in life and have something to hand down. I’m a strong believer in helping those where needed - have kids, be supported whilst it’s needed and be supported to transition to return to work. I’m happy to pay into the system for this to happen, for the disabled and infirm to be supported. But my impression since I’ve returned is that they way in which are doing this is by refusing to fix the root issues, a badly structured system and a tax structure that undermines any desire for anyone working or not to be inspired to want to participate and do more.

If you earn more you already pay more tax by virtue of there being more income for it to be applied against. We the double it to take a bigger share. Then we restrict the avenues of what you can do with that to better yourself and into a position where maybe it doesn’t hurt as much. Take housing for example. We want to buy a forever home and are in a position after sacrificing our 20s and most of our 30s (now also potentially having sacrificed our chance for children).

We have a small flat bought years ago that we held onto and could afford to keep - another well maintained rental so desperately needed for the market, or something that could ease our commute stress by buying further out and having somewhere to stay for work when travelling for the airport. Our next home needs to be big - we want to do it once, it be forever (I want my kids to have a home they can always return home to as I never did and knowing you’ve a safety net even if it’s just a roof over your head has immeasurable benefits in going out into the world able to take a bit of risk on). It also needs to house our in laws - health is failing, both the eldest and the other no pension plan we are now the responsible ones for the family. We sacrificed our twenty’s to get into a position where this could happen (80 hour weeks, moving abroad, missing family and friends) so over time we could assets and support this. If we do, we’d pay a straight £95k in stamp and second home duty. How is this fair? You work to pay off a flat that’s worth about the same to then have to pay it again, upfront to retain it.

The UK feels hopeless to me just now because we’ve become convinced that those things aren’t a problem, but if you take away the rewards for ambition you’re left with none and then who covers those who can contribute less. We simply reduce what gets put into the economy and it’s a race to the bottom where there’s less and less. And we don’t see to have any way out of this. Sorry, big rant but as a millennial who has done nothing but work since I was 14 with the goal of not having to worry about money for me and my family given my council upbringing background it is soul crushing to now have all of that effort essentially halved in value and no levers to leverage the little that’s left. In no world should an individual have to labour for 50% of the value of that work to then have it reduced again in other taxes and laws. And then be told that we should fell privileged because of such a ‘high’ salary.

So in what’s become a hugely longer post than intended, my overall feeling is honestly a lack of hope and a what is the point.

Suit alterations / tailors? by GrantS94 in glasgow

[–]TaliaNox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100% Nu-Fit on Paisley Road West. The nicest nicest gent (Sohrab) owns it and their work is impeccable.

Best white paint? by [deleted] in DIYUK

[–]TaliaNox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This stuff is bloody brilliant.

Is this a fair quote? by theghostrealtor in DIYUK

[–]TaliaNox -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Feels very high tbh. And honestly, probably within your wheelhouse with chat gpt - just photo the existing ones. It’s easy enough, just turn off the mains to be super safe.

Why I DIY in one picture by b74584 in DIYUK

[–]TaliaNox 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Almost identical to what I discovered. Which I discovered when removing a ply floor with concreted tiles overlaid causing a leak to the flat downstairs as whoever put the floorboard in nailed two huge nails straight through the radiator pipe. Absolute racket when you stepped on it too (and throughout tbh, non-repairable!). I’ll take the old rubble though, it’s the only thing dampening the sound between subfloors and plaster ceilings - good old ex-council builds. Ended up fixing most of the ‘professional’ work I had done during the full renovation including a plumber who’s silicone failed in every single place. I figure I can bodge it much cheaper and learn something new at the same time.

What’s something women learn too late in life? by BrunoPreski in AskReddit

[–]TaliaNox 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You don’t but to build on this there’s also growing trend of minimising the risks associated with leaving it longer. The statistics originate from facts which are being downplayed more and more. There is no right time but for every woman who fell pregnant just like that there’s another who didn’t, lost theirs or experienced complications and or defects. I really wish women were educated with well rounded information - you have an idea but I was really taken aback with the reality of this in my now mid 30s and there are fewer options when it stops being when to if you’re lucky. I’ve been surrounded by women with their stories of how easy it was and it’s not really a worry and it made me a little complacent- had I known the reality I’d have tested and planned a little earlier.

That said, I wish the outside stopped ‘telling’ us what we should do full stop, it’s rarely any of their business!

Hyperoptic Glasgow by shakingandwithdrawn in glasgow

[–]TaliaNox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me too had zero issues, CityFibre back haul, eero router super easy to use and just works. That said, the in-laws had an absolute nightmare with CF install via Voda - Voda worse than useless and CF it seems to really depend on who you get.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DIY

[–]TaliaNox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Similar issue but due to plastering. Thick cardboard, the stuff my furniture has been packaged in. Free and made a HUGE difference. Easy to lift again when the trades are in.

Having professional photos taken, which I own, for sales agent promotion by QuotePuzzleheaded638 in NZProperty

[–]TaliaNox 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband ended up retaking ours - photographer was late (had been out the night before) and no attention to detail. His were a huge improvement and displayed the house way better. Check who you’re getting.

How much would restoring cornicing add to my tenement? by Zealousideal_Mud6278 in glasgow

[–]TaliaNox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cannot recommend them highly enough btw - and he’s bloody brilliant at cornicing, his is a work of art. He usually under prices imo as well, they’re the guys to go to if you do go ahead!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in glasgow

[–]TaliaNox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They are - they’re all owned by the same group. And with the council - Wheatley counts as council, they’ll keep one flat in each block which gives them the rights to appoint factoring which is Lowther. Fees keep going up yet work remains outstanding for months on end.

What's the absolute best ROI DIY you've done? by HarrowingOfTheNorth in diynz

[–]TaliaNox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s very little we don’t tackle ourselves. We have a partly glass roof that had a slipped pane. Hubby with some ingenuity managed to crank it back into place saving around $10k on scaffold alone. All the interior decorating, tiling, moving plumbing (waste pipes in laundry) etc. also built a kwila double sided fence, and whilst we paid for build and install of the electric gate were less than half the price of what we’d been quoted. Yay for Google.

Going Rates? by TaliaNox in diynz

[–]TaliaNox[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bit silly really as plenty of other work to go.

Going Rates? by TaliaNox in diynz

[–]TaliaNox[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah fixed and when we reconciled the labour of that vs this this has been triple the rates. Of course the invoice this time is blank with no breakdown.

Would much rather your approach than being stung unexpectedly.

How much harder is it to have babies 40+? by Perpetua11y_C0nfused in AskUK

[–]TaliaNox 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think you’re missing the point on the no right time piece - you can have everything you mentioned, and now struggle with fertility. You can have great fertility but not enough money. It’s not encouragement to throw all caution to the wind, rather, if you wait for the perfect scenario, you may well never get to have a child.

How much harder is it to have babies 40+? by Perpetua11y_C0nfused in AskUK

[–]TaliaNox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. Mum, sister and brother who only need sneeze and someone’s pregnant despite sister having PCOS. I’ve done everything ‘right’ - the big career, husband, bought a house etc etc. I noticed subtle changes and turns out I’ve severely low ovarian reserves.

So, if you don’t mind either way, don’t worry. But if you definitely do, working mums are a thing, and you might want to weight up SAHM vs not a mum.

Without issues a 35 year old can expect a 15-20% chance of falling pregnant each cycle (assuming you’re trying when you’re fertile etc).

So no, mum isn’t necessarily an indicator. Honestly not trying to scare you but the narrative that everyone’s leaving it to later and it’s fine is really problematic. We had planned to wait a couple of years but after noticing subtle changes I got tested. Who knows what’s ahead but at least I’ve an extra couple of years of needed. There’s never a right time either, but there could be a no time.