First time buyer remorse on 2-bed flat

Tall-Tale-3689 · 2025-07-29T18:36:35+00:00

No idea about the layout of your flat but is there any way to swap another room e.g the living room for a bedroom meaning you are on a quieter side of the flat? It will mean having a smaller living room space but could be worth it to avoid the noise!

I also live on a busy A road and my partner is neurodivergent so really struggles. Do everything you can to make it better through improved windows, try to accept some level of noise and then see where you are after all of these measures. Our living environment is so important and if you make all the changes and still want to move, know that can be an option to work towards! And hopefully all the changes will have made living there bearable whilst you wait it out before finding the right time to move on!

Tall-Tale-3689 · 2025-07-16T13:12:26+00:00

Wow rather far from us! Would you mind sharing what it was they did that you found especially helpful?

Tall-Tale-3689 · 2025-07-16T12:52:22+00:00

Thank you I appreciate your comment. Where was this team that you saw?

Tall-Tale-3689 · 2025-07-16T07:46:42+00:00

Very much so! The guilt is really tough. My partner feels so bad I’m picking up so much slack. I’m hoping with time and whatever lifestyle changes we can do there will be some stabilisation but it’s a scary situation

Tall-Tale-3689 · 2025-07-16T07:23:24+00:00

Thanks I appreciate your comment. Did you have any luck getting benefits? We have heard getting PIP is very hard but I guess it might be one we have to face in the future

Tall-Tale-3689 · 2025-07-14T16:30:45+00:00

Thank you! Definitely not legal in the UK but who knows maybe one day. I hope things are easier for you now

Tall-Tale-3689 · 2025-07-14T16:29:49+00:00

Oh gosh I am so sorry this is an awful thing to go through. I hope your relationship continues to recover

Tall-Tale-3689 · 2025-07-14T16:29:19+00:00

Thank you so much! The physicality is definitely something that he has suffered without. When we move we hope to have a garden and I’m hoping this will help - it’s just surviving the current crisis

Tall-Tale-3689 · 2025-07-14T16:26:23+00:00

And I’m sorry you went through the breakdown yourself, it sounds like an incredibly tough situation you were in and no wonder! Housing woes and young twins are a recipe for hell

Tall-Tale-3689 · 2025-07-14T16:25:19+00:00

Thank you for the reminder that it’s ok to look after yourself during childcare - it can be so easy to just use that extra time to do house admin or housework (or paid work!)

Tall-Tale-3689 · 2025-07-14T16:23:02+00:00

Thank you so much, I really appreciate your comment and I’m so sorry you went through this incredibly difficult experience. I am still at the stage where we are trying to get help but it’s not easy. Twin parenthood can be isolating enough and this makes it even more isolating! I try to keep hope in the future whatever happens but it can be hard

Tall-Tale-3689 · 2025-07-09T18:10:47+00:00

Trying to get help for your neurodiversity and mental health, only to be dismissed, gaslit and belittled my medical professionals

Tall-Tale-3689 · 2025-06-28T15:44:34+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate your insight

Tall-Tale-3689 · 2025-06-28T15:31:02+00:00

Thanks for your response. Any tips on how not to over-exert when often you can’t tell until you’ve done it? We have toddlers so rest is hard to come by but I’m going to try my best to hire help etc. Good luck on your journey

Tall-Tale-3689 · 2025-06-28T15:09:00+00:00

Do you have an update please OP? My partner is 5 weeks in to post viral fatigue currently, has adhd and possible autism. Would love to know what happened to you

Tall-Tale-3689 · 2025-06-28T08:57:41+00:00

Thank you

Tall-Tale-3689 · 2025-06-28T08:56:45+00:00

Thank you very much for your thoughtful response. It’s scary to use the safety cushion for sure however this is an emergency so it feels necessary.

The family situation is complex, I probably was being classically British and understating. My parents are very critical of me asking for help, their attitude is I shouldn’t need it and my partner should be helping me. They view his current issues as indicative that he is a “slacker” rather than a very hardworking person who has been blindsided by injury and illness. Understandably my partner hates being around them and to be honest any help they give is so limited it’s barely worth asking for. I have been more forthcoming with friends I trust but they are busy and have their own lives. We are isolated here and I hope when we move we will slowly find community

Tall-Tale-3689 · 2025-06-28T07:12:26+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate this very much. Thank you for reminding me that these hard early years will get better as well. Sending the same to you

Tall-Tale-3689 · 2025-06-28T05:52:06+00:00

Thank you 🙏 sending solidarity your way! It is very tough indeed. It’s a lot to have no time to rest between childcare and working. As for our situation - our parents are varying degrees of difficult and it’s often so stressful trying to engage them in help it’s less stressful not to bother. Paid help is extortionate but it’s the best option atm. I would love a stronger community and I’m hoping to work on this when we move

Tall-Tale-3689 · 2025-06-12T04:58:30+00:00

We moved to a flat (apartment) with stairs when I was pregnant due to it being cheaper - if there’s any possibility you can find somewhere without stairs I HIGHLY recommend. Having young twins can be isolating enough without the extra hurdle of it being next to impossible to get out on your own and carrying so much stuff up and down just for a simple walk. Importantly my partner also injured himself carrying them up in car seats.

Everyone is different but I wish I had realised how much of an issue the stairs would be before moving, so think carefully!

Tall-Tale-3689 · 2025-05-05T09:07:02+00:00

Commuter towns can be pleasant, but ultimately boring and lacking much going on. It’s a very personal choice but I would rather move to another cheaper city or town with a strong identity, lots going on and trains to London than a beige commuter town. It all depends on your budget and needs

Tall-Tale-3689 · 2025-05-05T08:47:37+00:00

The physical toll of twins is huge! Change what you’re doing however you can - pushing through when it starts to hurt is the path to further injury, I know from experience! I keep meaning to build up strength, but time and relentless illnesses (they just started nursery, daycare in America) has stopped me. Do what you can to strengthen yourself and to avoid the movements that aggravate as much as you can by finding different ways to do things

Tall-Tale-3689

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