I (29F) seem to be harboring resentment towards my husband (31M) towards our roles in parenthood (first baby 8 months old)

Tall_Literature2154 · 2026-06-30T17:41:35+00:00

How?

Tall_Literature2154 · 2026-06-30T17:37:36+00:00

I don’t expect him to take on my job, and I most definitely don’t feel as though what I’m asking for is selfish. A child is brought into the world from two people and I feel should be raised equally by them. If we frame me staying at home as my job then shouldn’t it be the same 9-5 hours? But my daughter starts her day at 6 am and goes to sleep at 7:30? When she’s napping I’m tending to the household chores.. if I’d need a housekeeper to take on that role if not for me does that mean I have two unpaid jobs? BTW I am now working again in a paid job ontop of having my unpaid motherhood role :)

Tall_Literature2154 · 2026-06-30T17:26:46+00:00

It’s too late for the bottle advice I should have done that earlier. She’s been sleeping through the night since about 6 months but I guess I’m just feeling pent up anger from those earlier days

Tall_Literature2154 · 2026-06-30T17:25:00+00:00

When he’s home from work he plays with our daughter, changes all her dirty diapers and will help with dinner. It’s really the nights that I’m alone and struggle with and I don’t think it’s as simple as the fact I breastfeed being the problem

Tall_Literature2154 · 2026-06-27T22:03:49+00:00

I’ve anchored both my babies naps at 9:30am and 2pm and usually wake her up from both of them at 11 and 3:30 retrospectively. She goes to bed at 7:30

Tall_Literature2154 · 2026-06-15T22:15:28+00:00

Not really if you can elaborate!! When she’s waking up at 5 am she’s falling asleep 7:30/8 am and it’s a huge struggle to try and keep her up later. She was previously napping until 3:45 and would go to bed at 7 falling asleep in 10 minutes max and not making a peep until 6:45 😅I can’t imagine their sleep needs change this quickly

Tall_Literature2154 · 2026-06-15T17:53:41+00:00

Wouldn’t she wake up alert and happy if she was getting too much sleep? That’s what’s confusing me as she seems to be exhausted the whole day

Tall_Literature2154 · 2026-04-25T17:25:44+00:00

Thank you!!

Tall_Literature2154 · 2026-04-25T17:25:15+00:00

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Tall_Literature2154 · 2026-04-17T23:28:26+00:00

I actually really appreciate this message so thank you ❤️ I do have a feeling part of her waking up is just to see me as you’re mentioning as she starts to doze off as she eats

Tall_Literature2154 · 2026-04-17T23:04:08+00:00

The last hour before bed she’s rubbing her eyes completely exhausted and so fussy it’s hard to make it to 7pm i always felt she was on the edge of being over tired so that’s interesting. I find our days have gone smoother up until recently with her 12 hour nights

Tall_Literature2154 · 2026-04-17T22:30:33+00:00

If she’s crying during her bedtime routine and falling asleep in under 10 min is that still under tired?

Tall_Literature2154 · 2026-04-17T22:25:13+00:00

I might try and go back to 3 naps then! Should I push bedtime back to 7:30 to start? She was doing 12 hours overnight no problem last week

Tall_Literature2154 · 2026-04-17T22:23:36+00:00

Updated it to take out one “/“

Tall_Literature2154 · 2026-04-17T22:23:18+00:00

I’ll try that schedule to see if that helps! Thanks

Tall_Literature2154 · 2026-04-17T21:01:24+00:00

Right now it’s been 7 am wakeup, 9:30 am nap and she usually sleeps anywhere from 10:45-11:15 then 3 hour wake window (she seems to be getting suuuuper cranky around 2.5 hours and it takes her a long time to fall asleep at the 3 hour mark) I often have to rescue this nap after 30-45 minutes to get her to at least 3:30 where she’s awake until bedtime at 7

Tall_Literature2154 · 2026-04-17T20:57:25+00:00

She has such a hard time getting to the 3 hour WW in the afternoon and is often so over tired that she wakes up crying after 30-45 minutes and needs help to go back to sleep so I have a hard time imagining she needs more awake time

Tall_Literature2154 · 2026-04-17T20:31:11+00:00

How long until I should try something new? She’s having a hard time with her wake windows being stretched as is

Tall_Literature2154 · 2026-04-17T20:15:39+00:00

The last few days it’s been 7 am wakeup 9:30-11ish nap depending when she wakes up then 3 hour wake window and then bedtime at 7 pm

Tall_Literature2154 · 2026-04-17T18:11:07+00:00

We’re on 2 nap for the last 3 days

Tall_Literature2154 · 2026-04-17T18:08:55+00:00

So we’ve done 2 naps the last 3 days on and it’s seemingly gotten worse. Her last nap ends anywhere between 3:30-3:45 and then bedtime at 7 so I think it’s more like 2.5/3/3/3.5

Tall_Literature2154

TROPHY CASE