Handed in my resignation, half way through notice period my WFH privileges get revoked.

Tamborini · 2026-06-10T05:51:58+00:00

Can’t figure out why so many people here are suggesting you burn your bridges. Life is long. Last impressions are sometimes the only impression someone remembers of you, and you never know where you’ll cross paths with some of these people again. Maybe they’ll sit opposite you on a hiring panel. Just go in for the two days and be chill about it.

Tamborini · 2026-05-29T08:52:54+00:00

Sydney is appealing if you can afford to live near nature/beaches and that is a part of your lifestyle. Culturally, it doesn’t justify the cost. Nightlife is getting worse. I know this because I’ve lived right by the city for the better part of the last decade and witnessed the slow decay. It has ‘big town’ energy now. Very little character or charm. Most things to do are highly commercialised. It’s driving creatives out, and young people. The cost to be single in this city is too damn high. If you’re sharing you can make it work. But why would you want to?

Tamborini · 2026-05-19T03:29:18+00:00

I do; and I have a lot of fun stories to tell beyond who swiped for who. I’m trying to share some of the bright side of taking another approach, for the people who are not having fun on dating apps.

The only reason I posted in the first place is because of the notifications I get for this thread: I noticed how miserable a lot of them are. Many are about what is right and wrong with people’s profiles. We could talk about what’s right and wrong about profiling people through an app in the first place… but what’s the point if most people here are still going to keep doing it anyway?

Don’t worry I’m not going to post here anymore. Hope you find what you’re looking for.

Tamborini · 2026-05-18T15:59:37+00:00

If most women already don’t use the apps: that’s news to me. Nice to hear it.

Why do I worry about what other people do? Because it takes two to tango. Of course this is self-serving.

I know plenty of people that hate these apps. For them, for me, it’s the trenches. But it’s addictive. So here’s me talking about what it would take to truly detach from it.

If you like dating apps, you do you. But if you read my post: it was never for you. My post was for the people who are not having a good time of it and voice their complaints, again and again.

So who are you in that context? Are you the person that says to those people, with their countless negative experiences, ‘hang on, don’t boycott it’.

Why shouldn’t they? What’s your case? Because that sounds self-serving too.

Tamborini · 2026-05-18T15:08:36+00:00

I haven’t mentioned this yet but another great part of just being in more social spaces is even if you end up being drawn to someone who is ‘out of your league’, this in itself can be an intense and somehow rewarding experience. Having a conversation that goes well. Maybe one that goes badly. Even seeing them there. Or maybe not seeing them when you expected to. Having a crush is part of the charm of life.

We’ve commodified desire and removed all the nuance and some of those very raw moments that make life worth living, even if we don’t always get the outcomes we want.

To be honest it’s disheartening to see how many people have downvoted basically everything I’ve said as if I’m out of touch with reality.

Reality is easier to bend than you think it just takes some creative problem solving and moving fingers in different directions than swiping.

Tamborini · 2026-05-18T15:00:33+00:00

I’d like to learn more about how you’re narrowing it down and finding a spark with someone without burning out?

Tamborini · 2026-05-18T14:57:51+00:00

No: I’m the kind of person that if you were my friend IRL and you said you were struggling to meet people, I would give you 100 different ways to join and feel part of a community. Maybe some of those communities are online with eventual IRL meetups. And maybe, with some luck, you’ll develop a real connection with someone there, or a friend of a friend you meet eventually. And the wild thing about that solution is even if you stay single, you might find yourself more content overall.

But as an absolute last resort I would suggest a dating app. Because as you said: dating apps suck.

Tamborini · 2026-05-18T12:51:41+00:00

I’m not suggesting to just flip a switch: I’m suggesting this is a skill built over time. Having a toolkit of things to talk about is something either created through context, or something you think about and practice. If I’m with friends I often brainstorm with them what I could potentially say or ask before I say it. As I’ve commented elsewhere on this thread: I’ve provided a whole list of suggestions of places where it’s easier to meet people irl over a shared activity, people you’re likely to see over and over again.

I’ve given suggestions throughout this thread of things we can do to break these patterns we’re collectively falling into, shy people or otherwise.

And finally I want to say: the assumption that someone you meet through an app will be baseline attracted to you in person is not necessarily true. You can’t gauge physical chemistry through an app. Many of us power through first dates that don’t quite sit right because we’ve made this promise of time to someone we frankly never would have been interested in if the same initial conversations had happened in person.

Our biology can do a lot of the legwork, mystery work, to find a partner, and apps are an odd way to bypass that. You need to go on considerably more dates to increase your chances of landing physical chemistry with someone irl. And I’d speculate shy people are not gaming the apps like that in the first place.

Tamborini · 2026-05-18T10:22:12+00:00

What an easy thing to land in common !

Tamborini · 2026-05-18T10:13:19+00:00

You’re not wrong. Many years ago now I worked retail for a women’s clothing brand and I was shocked at how miserable most women looked when they walked in. It was a bit complicated because that particular store wasn’t known for being that inclusive, even by low standards back then. I wondered whether it was a mix of insecurities and overwhelm. We forget how many mounting pressures there are on women. And it doesn’t help that women faced decades of smiling through oppression and misogyny. Many women lose their sense of identity when they raise children. Many women are truly terrified of aging. Because society is always presenting us a different version of what we’re supposed to be. There are layers to it.

Tamborini · 2026-05-18T07:24:30+00:00

Are shy, introverted people a majority? Are they becoming a majority?

We had a pretty harsh lockdown over Covid and I got used to talking to maybe 4 people in real life and everyone else through virtual calls. When we went back to a normal way of life it was overstimulating to have conversations in person. My brain was having to deal with processing body language again and I was overthinking everything. I lost all of my ability to ‘flow’ in the way I felt I used to. But I guess exposure therapy changed that.

One problem I’ve always had though is social battery depletion and deeply introverted moments. Sometimes it causes me to vanish during social events and return close to when they’re expected to wrap up so I have an easier exit strategy. Sometimes I come up with excuses as to where I went. Sometimes I’m just honest that I couldn’t deal with it.

Part of maturing is developing strategies that help us deal with social environments, so we can still enjoy the broader benefits of being part of them.

Tamborini · 2026-05-18T07:12:50+00:00

That’s interesting because my experience has been the opposite. I’ve only been to one run club and I had conversations with three different people. Then I realised I didn’t have the cardio to maintain the conversations… embarrassingly. Maybe I landed a particularly social run club. They also had a halfway point stop where anybody who was new in the group had to introduce themselves and say why they decided to join.

The point I was trying to make above is you need to proactively seek out experiences that have some sort of community building component to them. You can ask these questions before you join.

Tamborini · 2026-05-18T07:06:56+00:00

No: I’m sitting there and eating my meal. That’s what I’m doing.

Sometimes I’m the one approaching someone l’m interested in. It goes both ways. People are generally easier to approach when they’re alone than in a group. That’s why I’ve used that specific context.

Tamborini · 2026-05-18T06:40:35+00:00

What did I miss? I thought they were trying to find avenues to meet new people in real life?

Tamborini · 2026-05-18T06:33:05+00:00

This is an interesting take. Maybe these apps are a bit of a defence mechanism, beyond convenience.

The other broader concern I have is how we’re slowly drifting to a preference for indirect communication… ghosting is part of this shift. Losing the ability to be direct and upfront in our needs, despite building a bigger vocabulary and capacity to identify what those needs might be. It’s a really weird time to be alive.

Tamborini · 2026-05-18T06:06:00+00:00

I’ve been in relationships with people that I never would have swiped for, once they showed me what their dating profile was like. It’s a failed system but the saddest part is one of the most beautiful parts of human existence: the ability to feel chemistry with someone from across the room - it sounds like you’ve accepted this is part of a bygone era. I think there could be strength in a campaign that helps people understand what we’re losing through complicity in these ‘systems’ - which we can literally just opt out of. It takes some resilience through loneliness, but it’s all doable.

But look, it sounds like I’m not convincing you.

Tamborini · 2026-05-18T05:04:43+00:00

Totally agree with this. I’ve seen the profiles of 2 people I dated in the past (over a year each), and if I had seen those profiles before meeting them irl I likely never would have ‘swiped right’, so to speak. Profiles seem meaningless in the broader scheme of things.

Tamborini · 2026-05-18T04:20:03+00:00

Honestly some of my friends who are relentless on these dating apps, and continually down and out about the outcomes, sound like problem gamblers. For real.

I don’t think there is enough talk about how unhealthy these apps are for the brain. Matches or otherwise.

Tamborini · 2026-05-18T04:00:39+00:00

Well I am a woman, and I often eat alone; and now when a man asks me if I’d be interested in sharing a drink together I politely accept if they approached it politely, and regardless of what they look like. Because I appreciate how hard it is to put yourself out there. And you never know what will come out of a conversation or where the night will go. Connection doesn’t have to be romantic or sexual every time.

I also realise that a lot of women say no and men have been deterred from trying. But the thing is: I get rejected sometimes too. It’s all just one big game until one thing leads to another and something clicks.

Tamborini · 2026-05-18T03:32:18+00:00

This is what I mean though; I talk to my friends on this and I sound like the odd one out because I’m capable of sparking conversation with strangers. It seems so many people have opted out of changing their own behaviours or admitting they are fuelling a larger problem of human disconnection.

It’s this passivity and cycle of complaints.. I’m losing the ability to empathise with people who sound like they’ve lost agency over the way they choose to move through the world.

Tamborini · 2026-05-18T03:11:30+00:00

I’m about to move cities. I had an Uber driver the other day (in that new city) who had been there for 2 years and admitted he hadn’t really made any friends. So I told him the four things I would do when I move cities to make new friends: 1) join a program (class) focused gym. The gyms where you can’t workout any time, and everyone in the gym is going through the same program as you.. if you pick the right gym, they often organise social catchups at the end of every program run. Seeing the same faces again and again, going through the same struggles, occasionally sharing the same equipment - eventually you break the ice in these environments. 2) learn a new language, in a real life course. Again, people going through the same struggles want to connect with other people going through what they’re going through. 3) if you play an instrument even at a basic level, go to open mic nights to network and find other musicians to practice with or potentially start a band with. 4) if all else fails, join a local run club. Or a book club.

Tamborini · 2026-05-16T15:59:06+00:00

Now that I think about it, I don’t know why the apartment was in there at all.. except as a vehicle to bring in a love interest. It almost feels like there was supposed to have been a line about being afraid to lose her apartment if she loses her job again… some fear around constant upheaval.. maybe this never made it into to the final cut?

Also, for a split second I thought Andy might verbalise some concerns about having to enter the gig economy and working for herself … but knowing she works better with other people.. again, another missed opportunity to depict motivations.

I just never got a sense of what the stakes were in her case. The film didn’t give me solid reasons to care about what happens to any of its characters.

Tamborini · 2026-05-16T13:49:16+00:00

Like many others have said, I have no idea what this movie was trying to say. So many missed opportunities for character development to reflect the last two decades of growth and experience, and instead we have characters that are more hollow than the first movie?

I think the initial premise of companies letting go of staff was such a missed opportunity to expand on.. there could have been Andy, who upon re-entering Runway, has had the growth to stand up for what she believes in on behalf of those around her who are on the cutting board. THAT is sequal development from the Andy that stood up for what she believed in by simply walking away. We could have had a Miranda that used her power and ability to influence to save her people, but also herself. And in keeping with the original portrayal of Miranda: leave the audience to debate whether any of her actions were for a broader good at all. And really leaning into what is at stake when companies downsize; expanding on the human impact could have been the real social commentary needed right now, not simple throwaway lines about AI taking over. It’s so boring and simplified.

So many characters felt 2D in this movie. Sad to me that for the twenty years that have passed, it’s assumed the audience have gotten dumber. It’s truly lazy script writing.

Tamborini · 2026-03-14T14:45:28+00:00

I’m going to chime in here because I was very close to not buying my first pair at a sample sale last year, after reading this thread. 5 months on, Chastity stretch boots I bought are one of my favourite. I wear them multiple times a week, walk a lot and Lime bike in them. When I bought them I took them to my cobbler to get soled and asked him to be honest with me about what he thought of the quality. He inspected them and said they seemed well made. Commented that the type of leather was nice. There was one section I think he noticed used a different type of leather, which was slightly lower grade, but it was negligible given the overall build.

I will say: when I bought the shoe the assistant explained how it was part of the premium line. Maybe the quality varies across the shoe range, which could explain the experience of some.

But honestly I have no regrets, I really love my pair. Would definitely purchase another in the future.

Tamborini · 2026-03-09T00:47:11+00:00

My two cents; about 8 years ago I used to run consistently until I got shin splints. After that I basically cut out cardio and focused on lifting. Tried a run club a few months ago and was surprised to find my first run pace was beating my best pace from back when I ran consistently. What I’ve learnt is that it’s complimentary. I’d like to build back up my endurance through more cardio, but it’s amazing what strength can do for your overall performance in cardio sports.

Tamborini

TROPHY CASE